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What makes a relationship last?

What do you think keeps relationships going strong long-term?

silvereyes 8 Mar 8

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65 comments

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14

Duct tape.

leather

12

I'm assuming you're talking about couples. Having a solid foundation of friendship, because sex will ebb and flow after the early stages of lust wanes.

You see I never found that. I fancied the pants off both my husbands from start to finish, with no change. I still do, in fact.

@GoldenDoll Good for you. Hopefully, it was mutual.

10

love, trust, sex, commitment, respect.

You live in Rochester NH?

9

hard work, commitment, love, respect, communication

marga Level 7 Mar 8, 2018
8

Hmmmmm, for me, unpredictability. I hate structure, loath it in fact. A poem explains my lifestyle, it's called dust if you must.

Dust if you must but wouldn't it be better
To paint a picture or write a letter.
Bake a cake or plant a seed;
Ponder the difference between want and need?

Dust if you must but theres not much time,
With rivers to swim and mountains to climb;
Music to hear, books to read;
Friends to cherish and life to lead.

Dust if you must but the world's out there
With the sun in your eyes and the wind in your hair;
A flutter of snow, a shower of rain,
This day will not come around again.

Dust if you must, but bear in mind,
Old age will come and it's not kind.
And when you go (and go you must)
You, yourself, will make more dust.

Life's to short to script your day, eat your tea in the same place at the same time, nothing grinds me down more.

AdieG Level 4 Mar 8, 2018

Brill....

8

Trust, communication, and enjoying things together.

7

Appreciation

6

Understanding and choosing wisely in the first place

5

Quite simply, what makes them last is the couple who makes them their first priority. It is important to have great communication in similar styles, matching desires where that works and complementary desries where that works.

4

Time apart.

@silvereyes There's something to the phrase "absence makes the heart grow fonder."

4

Honesty, you can get through anything else as long as you trust each other. And communication will solve more problems than anything else I think.

4

Being that I have yet to have a successful long term relationship, I can only guess. But from family members who have been married 40+ years, I think the one thing that they all have told me is communication is the real key. That and a recognition that the two of you will not always agree.

3

I wish I knew but from my understanding it's many things.

SamL Level 7 Mar 8, 2018
3

The high cost of divorce

Ha ha ha - love it!

3

I'm going to assume the answer is "the opposite of what I do" because if I had the real answer, I doubt my hand would be faking headaches...

2

I'm guessing that you already have that solid foundation that Victoria is talking about. For me, my experience was, you have to keep things spicy in the bedroom. Keep things excited,
have sex every day. Not just boring sex. Ever heard of the 30 month challenge ?
We were raising 5 kids at one time. Both of us had careers. My husband never complained.
There are ways in keeping things together. Kids go to sleep at night. You have to keep things creative.
I can't say anything else XXX. LoL 🙂

2

Communication and never going to bed angry.

2

Nothing. Speaking from experience.

Here is my favorite riddle.

“How do you keep the one you love?”

No Googling/Cheating.

So, the answer is "No Googling/Cheating"?

2

If I had the answer to that i would not have been single for the last 5 or so years. Looking at my grandparents think to be tollerent is some of the key.

2

Honesty, respect, mutual dovetail desires

2

Complete honesty and mutual respect for each other.

forget the honesty bit , be real

@markdevenish From what i have observed and read, when there is an infidelity, if a person is honest the relgionship has a much better chance of survival, than if they lie and are caught. Most describe havign been lied to as the greater betrayal. In cases where infidelity isn't involved, it is almost always dishonesty which results in a break up.

2

No idea.

1

Sheer bloody mindedness... Nah... My opinion is that, essentially, we have all been taught to be, but we all have individual, unique, equally valid perspectives of the universe that we share. We are faced with an a paradigm of what a sociologically acceptable relationship should be, so when we actually try to enter a relationship, we are inherently seeking a relationship style that we have witnessed within our own individual life experience. So, if you grew up, in say, a hippie commune, then the relationship paradigm that you are seeking, will be the one that lead to the most experience... and it doesn't necessarily have to be a positive one. I/e toxic relationships are just as hereditary as loving ones... Long story short, I think that the key to a successful long term relationship is happiness. If both partners share similar life experiences for a period of time, so that they share diffeting perspectives of same experiences, and are happy together, the relationship will last... Oh, and fun. Gotta have fun together... Jet skis are fun 😀

1

If I can ever make one last I will be sure to let you know! 😜

1

I'm confused. Is this an individual in a ltr asking a bunch of mostly singles? just checking.

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