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What are your deal breakers? Not like the major ones (dishonest, unfaithful, self obsessed, abusive) but like little deal breakers

LadyAlyxandrea 8 Mar 8

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6

tobacco smoking, poor hygiene, poor grammar/communication, braggart, bigot, self-absorbed, greedy, doesn't like animals, anti-social

eek , hope that's not one person !

not one person-but my list has grown recently-lol

It could be one person... does Trump smoke?

0

Cigarettes, meat consumption, calling their ex bad names, lack of basic etiquette.

@Troy I just don't want to hear it. It's uncivilized. We all have reasons our exes are our exes. If it's still so painful for a person, they still call their exes names, I feel for them, but I don't want any part of that journey out of bitterness. Maybe we'd hook up when it's not so raw.

@Troy It's one thing to talk about it with your familiars and platonic close relations. If you're at the point where you think it's reasonable to refer to your ex as "the bitch" while you're talking to your potential love interest, I think you still have issues to sort through.

2

Being allergic to cats, the sound of their voice, a history of not being self sufficient, and being self absorbed.

Ha! The voice thing. I feel so petty for it but if a man doesn't have a voice I like,I'm done.

@Blindbird I'd love to see this in action. You call them to set up a meeting.
Guy: Hello.
You: click.

@phil21 lol I'm not THAT rude. I just don't continue the relationship.

@Blindbird Whew. Now I have this fear I have a voice that sends damsels into distress. You liked Screech's voice, right?

0

My biggest dealbreaker is being pedantic. I do not like being spoken to as if I'm a child, or any less intelligent than you. People who act like they're superior irritate me. Another is people who think just because we are seeing each other gives them the right to tell me what to do. If I decide to shave my head you can say "I don't think that would look good on you, but it's your hair so your decision" not "I'd break up with you if you shave your head" Bitch bye! Always turning the conversation towards sex. If I am trying to get to know you and it goes similar to this, we done. "So what do you do for a living?" "Oh I'm a welder lol send nudes?"

When do you want to shave your head? Can we film it?

@rafferty I did that about 6 years ago, and my then boyfriend was very upset.

Tsk.

@rafferty there's a reason he's an ex

12

Trump lover. Dog hater. Constant complaining. Racist. Rude to people, especially waiters. Doesn't think I'm hilarious. Physically unaffectionate (over time; does not have to be immediate)

Boy, I'm picky.

One loving the orange one is a major for me ...

The orange one, lmao. Yeah, Trump-loving or conservative sociopolitical views are a total deal-breaker for me too. Some people get all self-righteous and preach about how wrong it is to discount someone as a friend based on their political views, but times have changed. Someone who really loves Trump (or any number of modern Republican politicians) is either in support of or willing to overlook some serious bigotry, ignorance, and creep-ery! I could not be friends with let alone PARTNER UP with someone in that boat.

@phil21: I like "doesn't think I'm hilarious".

2

High fiving in public

This is from a show popular in Seattle in the nineties.

@Benthoven was one of them bill nye ?

Yes he was: Bill Nye the Science Guy.

0

Like Bernie Bernie like to chew gum...no not chew...pop

If you fire two warning shouts into his head... He had it comin'... 🙂😉

@DaveSuvada well he only had himself to blame

0

Bad teeth

What if it is a genetic defect and not a direct correlation to bad hygiene practices

@LadyAlyxandrea
I probably wouldn't. Just can't.

6

Insulting one of the following:

Lord of the Rings
Star Wars
Star Trek
Dungeons & Dragons
Video games
The Royal Navy.

I said not major personality defects lmao

This is the best list here! I may have to be restrained if anyone insults any of the first four. ESPECIALLY D&D!

0

Cigarette smoking, having or wanting children, actively disliking Doctor Who (mainly because it's absolutely everywhere in my home and they'd be miserable/infuriated/etc), not being at least somewhat active.

@WizardBill I might.

1

little deal breakers......almost don't smell bad, just barely nice, don't laugh exactly like a horse.

How about isn't that stupid?

Maybe but that's borderline big deal breaker.

4

Bigotry and support thereof are obviously deal-breakers. Less obvious ones include: Patterns of passive-aggressive behavior (UGH). Pouting, whining, and/or self-pity. Fat-phobia (and even if I wasn't chubby myself, this would be a deal-breaker even when it comes to subtle or ignorant comments that seek/act to assign someone value based on their weight--what a pathetic way to approach people and relationships). Condescending explanations or assuming I need help (sometimes called "mansplaining" but I've encountered people of different sexes and genders who do this). Bullying behavior. Having an ego so big that you don't know how to pick your battles or brush stuff off--volatile temper, obsession with your public appearance and being shown "respect", etc. Adherence to or strong belief in gender roles and specific gender presentations ("You're female, so you need to be feminine up to my standards or I'll be turned off" ).. Consistently uninterested in or avoidant of physical affection or sex (because I am just not compatible with that). Never asks questions and shows lack of interest in my thoughts, ideas, or interests. Avoiding or deflecting responsibility/accountability for one's own actions. Doesn't know anything about or holds fast to myths about mental illness and neurological disorders. Is religious AND tries to come up with a religion-based solutions to everything. I know everybody screws up and most people can learn and change. I am actually a ridiculously open-minded, forgiving, and patient person, but all of the things I mentioned above are things I have personally dealt with and know I can't live with on a continual basis or at least without evidence that the other person is trying to learn and make changes. I can't change anyone, but I can control my own behavior, which includes trying my best to adhere to what I see as a fair set of standards for the company I keep and the relationships I invest in.

Passive aggressive ones are the worst. Take take take.

I know, right!? In terms of maturity issues, it might just be the worst--or the worst in terms of common ones. Say what's bothering you or shut the **** up, for the love of big bang!!! Ya know? 😛

4

Republicans and jeezuz freaks.

Oh not so for you!

@rafferty I know. I know. When will I learn. Never say never. Lol. But maybe I can say it's not dating, but just using him for sex until he opens his mouth and spews Republican.

0

I don't date, so these are friendship deal-breakers. I can't really be friends with someone who doesn't read. I can be an acquaintance, but true talking-for-hours friendship with me requires reading books. There also has to be some level of political engagement. If you have the attitude that what goes on in Washington, or at a state level, or a town level doesn't concern you and you don't care, then I'm going to find you mystifying at best, frustrating at least, and likely highly annoying. And lastly: If your speech is extremely grammatically incorrect, I'll find that distracting. I don't mean regionalisms. It's not an absolute deal-breaker but comes close. If I find it combined with terms like "nigger-rig" and "jew you down, " though, THAT will get you cast out of my life in a heartbeat!

I come from backwoods Missouri where we always said niggarig but I make an effort not to anymore, preferring "hillbilly rigged" instead

Racism, ppl dedicated to regionalisms are a strike. I just got out of a relationship with a psychopath lady (red flags and all) that called me a "yankee" but not in a fucking around way, in a Mayella Ewell way, like a for real way. I got her drunk on wine and the real lady appeared.

0

I can handle unfaithful dishonest and self obsessed even a little abuse doesn't hurt too much but the rewards are great. you have to stab me in the heart literally to get me to break the deal

Wow. You need to work.on your boundaries. You deserve better than that.

5

As you did not specify these major issues: I would not tolerate the following:

One who considers faith (the foundation of religion), based superstitions superior to actual facts. i.e. the religious.

Trump supporter,
Evolution denier,
Climate change denier,
Flat Earther,
Anti-Vaccer - - the list goes on - -

In short - anyone who does not display a rational understanding of the world or displays a lack of mental aptitude.

Totally agree

0

Makes constant spelling errors, if they are more interested in me more than I am in them.

I can love a loveable dummy with a big heart, but it had better be made of platinum

0

I love a woman with natural nails that are well taken care of, and with a borderline foot fetish...well, I would have to say nails that have been chewed on and matching toes.

Tippa Level 5 Mar 9, 2018

People that cannot help out with /complain about my frankenstein nails after throwing down 16 hour days building cars and making car parts would be unappreciative of the megaindustrial lifestyle.

2

I'm not really a jugdemental person, and I think its dickish to have ultimatums, but... if you don't enjoy pizza, I just can't allow that much negativity in my life.

Marz Level 7 Mar 11, 2018

I don't trust anyone who says they don't like pizza. They're obviously inhuman

1

I don't even know at this rate, all I see is rejection.

3

Texting while we on a date.

0

Smoking tobacco. Just can't deal with the smell.

0

Lacking a genuine love for truth, in the scientist-at-heart kind of way, is a deal breaker.

0

Bad hygeine, serious alcoholics, and smokers. I guess depending on how well the connection is I can MAYBE overlook smoking, but it has to be ONE HELL OF a connection to rule all loves, and when they smoke they better do it outside and away from me......and keep their breath fresh all the time. Being controlling or nagging or being a big worrier. I already have a mother lol

1

Disrespect

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