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The Jehovah Witnesses came by my house yesterday. They've been coming to my house for years. I discourage them but they still keep coming every few months.

This time I said, "I'm not a Christian." I was surprised when he was surprised. I don't know if anyone had ever said that to him. He looked shocked. He tried to recover, but I told him I just wasn't interested. He left with a smile and wished me a nice day. I did the same.

I guess I have a few months to figure out something to throw him for a loop the next time. Maybe tell him I'm a Scientologist, or worship the Great Spaghetti Monster.

Otterpop 6 Mar 9
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27 comments

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0

The JW's don't bother me but they do come by. My family does not like them even though my grandfather was one. This is how they know me to begin with, but most of my family was Pentecostal. The main reason the known church world does not like JW's is their belief that "dead is dead." The JW's do not believe in a soul. The main church world has to have soul belief to avoid the fear of death. Then there is Paradise on earth and the 144,000. As an atheist I do not believe in a soul or consciousness after death. I also believe that all gods are imaginary.

10

Tell him the truth about what you believe. They need to hear it.

6

The Cult of Foamy is always glad to accept new members. Plus you get to wack people with a cardboard Foamy the squirrel on a stick.

6

Next time, answer the door naked with a pentagram painted on your torso. Tell them to hurry because the baby is almost done cooking.

6

Invite him in for a cup of fresh coffee and some roasted baby. 😀

6

I had a logic professor that LOVED It when they cycled up. He'd invite them in, put the tea on the boil and sit down and use logic to tie them up in knots! I could just picture the scene as he was GOOD with his argument structures and had researched the subject for a good long while. 🙂

I was reading the rest of your post and you beat me to my thought: tell him you are pastafarian and worship the great spaghetti monster which touched you with his (or her, your choice) noodly appendage and gave you great insight. Then ask "have you been touched by the noodly appendage of insight? Do you wish to receive great insight?" 🙂

6

A friend of mine dealt with that situation by inviting the two women in and suggesting a threesome. Of course, he wasn't serious. They left pronto and never returned.

6

They came by the other day waking me up about 3 hours after I had just got off a 12hr night shift. Opened the door in the boxers blinked "uhhh no.." and slammed the door. Back to sleep.

5

I have a special NO Solicitation sign on my door. Emphasis on not needing my soul saved. I'll be damned if the church people walking our neighborhood yesterday actual read it and didn't knock.

We also employ such a sign. I have watched them come to the door, almost knock, then scratch their heads and walk away.

haha, You already are damned according to them. 😛

5

Give him literature from Ex Jehovah's Witness sources and you will never see him again.

[reddit.com]

[jehovahs-witness.com]

JK666 Level 7 Mar 9, 2018
5

Draw a pentangle on your front door in a blood red colour

5

I've only had church people on my door once and had to point them to the red "No solicitors" sign, to which they tried to tell me "We're not selling anything", Me: "Yes you are, religion. I'm an atheist and not interested." /shuts door

4

My neighbor was mowing his lawn in his jeans one hot summer day as a Jehovah's Witness arrived in his drive and proceeded up a flight of stairs to his front door. As she ascended he ran over a hornet's nest, jumped off the riding mower and dropped his jeans - as the hornets swarmed his lower body- and ran toward the front door. As the JW reached the landing she saw a nearly naked man running toward her waving his arms and screaming. She dropped her magazines and raced down the stairs as fast as she could in heels, and she never returned. Now you know how to get rid of them!!

3

I always tell the door-knockers that I'm an atheist. I love watching them try to process the information before they say something. Usually I get "why?". Then the floor is mine!!!! Truthfully, I do take a considerable amount of pleasure in it. They came to my door, they get what they get.

3

I answer the door naked. The rest usually takes care of itself.

3

The only reason we have Scientology is to make the Jehovas Witnesses look sane.

I once told them "You don't want me, and you don't want my boyfriend either" (I was in bloke mode at the time.) But this amounts to engaging them, and so I started to get an explanation of why that didn't matter (one thing I should have learned from the time they claimed to be friends of my mother in my teens: like a lot of salespeople, JW's are not above lying to get the deal.)

It's actually one of those religions where it's okay to be gay, as long as you keep your trousers on. So perhaps they felt they had an opportunity to 'save' me by coaxing me into a lifetime of miserable abstenance from any kind of physical intimacy.

If I'm ever going to buy into a religion, it'll be one where I stand a chance of getting into heaven, rather than one where there are limited spaces up there, and the tickets sold out years ago. Although the idea of not celebrating Christmas or birthdays has its appeals.

3

In my experience its just best to not engage them at all..I told one group I was an atheist so they made it their mission to come to my house every sat at 9am!

3

I tell them that I quit christianity back in 1965 and became a Buddhist (which has no deity)

2

I tell them we're Pagans and then close the door and lock it.

2

If they keep coming back, inviting them in to answer uncomfortable questions about the Bible usually keeps them from returning.

2

I got rid of them forever. I invited them in. It was an elderly woman and a young girl. I told them before we start talking we should all take a shower together. They abruptly left and never returned.

0

If you say right away "I am atheist", they often give up right away. I don't try to talk with those people. It's like speaking to a brick wall.

SKH78 Level 8 Mar 10, 2018
0

Wrong approach, invite them in and start conversation with something that destroys their position. I is great to see them giggle. They normally last about 5-10 minutes before they need to leave.

0

My first husband ,who passed away many years ago, but had a wonderful mind and fantastic memory, would love to have Jehovah's Witnesses come to the door. He would invite them in, and had the ability to be exceedingly friendly to them while using their own rhetoric and passages from the bible and other religious works to get them so confused that they would practically beg to leave. We only had to worry about one visit from them no matter where we lived.

0

Open the door with no clothes on. It worked for me.

Iffy Level 5 Mar 9, 2018
0

Just use the word atheist and see the fear wash over their faces. I've done that and that was the reaction.

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