The Jehovah Witnesses came by my house yesterday. They've been coming to my house for years. I discourage them but they still keep coming every few months.
This time I said, "I'm not a Christian." I was surprised when he was surprised. I don't know if anyone had ever said that to him. He looked shocked. He tried to recover, but I told him I just wasn't interested. He left with a smile and wished me a nice day. I did the same.
I guess I have a few months to figure out something to throw him for a loop the next time. Maybe tell him I'm a Scientologist, or worship the Great Spaghetti Monster.
The JW's don't bother me but they do come by. My family does not like them even though my grandfather was one. This is how they know me to begin with, but most of my family was Pentecostal. The main reason the known church world does not like JW's is their belief that "dead is dead." The JW's do not believe in a soul. The main church world has to have soul belief to avoid the fear of death. Then there is Paradise on earth and the 144,000. As an atheist I do not believe in a soul or consciousness after death. I also believe that all gods are imaginary.
The Cult of Foamy is always glad to accept new members. Plus you get to wack people with a cardboard Foamy the squirrel on a stick.
Invite him in for a cup of fresh coffee and some roasted baby.
I had a logic professor that LOVED It when they cycled up. He'd invite them in, put the tea on the boil and sit down and use logic to tie them up in knots! I could just picture the scene as he was GOOD with his argument structures and had researched the subject for a good long while.
I was reading the rest of your post and you beat me to my thought: tell him you are pastafarian and worship the great spaghetti monster which touched you with his (or her, your choice) noodly appendage and gave you great insight. Then ask "have you been touched by the noodly appendage of insight? Do you wish to receive great insight?"
A friend of mine dealt with that situation by inviting the two women in and suggesting a threesome. Of course, he wasn't serious. They left pronto and never returned.
I have a special NO Solicitation sign on my door. Emphasis on not needing my soul saved. I'll be damned if the church people walking our neighborhood yesterday actual read it and didn't knock.
Give him literature from Ex Jehovah's Witness sources and you will never see him again.
Draw a pentangle on your front door in a blood red colour
My neighbor was mowing his lawn in his jeans one hot summer day as a Jehovah's Witness arrived in his drive and proceeded up a flight of stairs to his front door. As she ascended he ran over a hornet's nest, jumped off the riding mower and dropped his jeans - as the hornets swarmed his lower body- and ran toward the front door. As the JW reached the landing she saw a nearly naked man running toward her waving his arms and screaming. She dropped her magazines and raced down the stairs as fast as she could in heels, and she never returned. Now you know how to get rid of them!!
I always tell the door-knockers that I'm an atheist. I love watching them try to process the information before they say something. Usually I get "why?". Then the floor is mine!!!! Truthfully, I do take a considerable amount of pleasure in it. They came to my door, they get what they get.
I answer the door naked. The rest usually takes care of itself.
The only reason we have Scientology is to make the Jehovas Witnesses look sane.
I once told them "You don't want me, and you don't want my boyfriend either" (I was in bloke mode at the time.) But this amounts to engaging them, and so I started to get an explanation of why that didn't matter (one thing I should have learned from the time they claimed to be friends of my mother in my teens: like a lot of salespeople, JW's are not above lying to get the deal.)
It's actually one of those religions where it's okay to be gay, as long as you keep your trousers on. So perhaps they felt they had an opportunity to 'save' me by coaxing me into a lifetime of miserable abstenance from any kind of physical intimacy.
If I'm ever going to buy into a religion, it'll be one where I stand a chance of getting into heaven, rather than one where there are limited spaces up there, and the tickets sold out years ago. Although the idea of not celebrating Christmas or birthdays has its appeals.
I tell them that I quit christianity back in 1965 and became a Buddhist (which has no deity)
If they keep coming back, inviting them in to answer uncomfortable questions about the Bible usually keeps them from returning.
My first husband ,who passed away many years ago, but had a wonderful mind and fantastic memory, would love to have Jehovah's Witnesses come to the door. He would invite them in, and had the ability to be exceedingly friendly to them while using their own rhetoric and passages from the bible and other religious works to get them so confused that they would practically beg to leave. We only had to worry about one visit from them no matter where we lived.