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LINK Should Marriage Still Involve Changing a Woman's Name?

My maiden name is Smith. I always considered it my dad's name, and generally so common as to be bland. I changed my name each time I married. I did not change my name when I divorced because my professional degrees were in that name, and that is the name the kids have. One of my kids got married changed her name. Then divorced and changed it back, and now has remarried and not changed her name. If a miracle occurred and I was persuaded to remarry I would not change my name. Since I'm really not looking to remarry I don't think it will be an issues. I decided a long time ago my first name is more important to me than the surname. Where I come from is not as important as to who I am now.

By HippieChick589
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It's handy when the parents and the kids all have the same name. And of course, patriarchal inheritance laws make it easier if it's the man's name.... But there's no truly good reason, just convenience

Burner Level 6 June 2, 2019

None of my business, nor anyone else......


Actually I always said kids should take their mothers name. YOu can always be sure of who the mother is smile009.gif


I think it depends on the name. I had a friend from school called Julie Roots (does that translate in american? In Australian it is slang for sexual intercourse). Anyhow everytime she was introduced her name was intentionally turned into a verb and some smart arse would say 'Does she?" She married at 18!

But then I did know a woman who, when married changed her name to Bonks.....I mean WHY would you??

While below I said that all my sons took husbands name but all four had my last name added in as another family name...not hyphenated. My single brother is the last of our branch of the family so I wouldn't mind if one or more of my sons dropped their last name.


I kept my own name when I married. I recall saying to husb to be..."Do you want to change your name to Douglas?" and naturally he said no. So I said, 'well I don't think I'll change my name either". He was cool with that. We didn't go for hyphenated names so we made a pact that if we had sons they would take his name, and the girls would take my name.

I had four SONS!!

Anyhow it was only after his death that I wished I'd taken his name. 20 yrs on I'm happy I kept my own name.



zesty Level 7 June 1, 2019

When we decide on a name for certain we're both going to change our names.

1of5 Level 8 June 1, 2019

It should be a choice. My daughter added to hers via the all mighty hyphen, but the discussed him taking hers. Why not start a tradition of the couple taking their own made up name.

cimoore34 Level 6 June 1, 2019

I have friends that did just that.When they married they became the EarthSouls. They are intelligent, well educated, interesting people, but they do have some beliefs that are out of the mainstream.


Depends on the couple..

Charlene Level 9 June 1, 2019

I really like the Spanish system. Both partners keep their main names, but their children inherit the father's first family name and the mother's first family name in that order.
So say John Smith-Jones marries Mary Williams-Brown. Their children will be (name) Smith-Williams. Their grandson's children will be (name) Smith-?? and their granddaughter's children (name) ??-Smith.
This makes it very easy to trace back lineage, both paternal and maternal.
Thus, my children's surnames would be Finne-Dent, throughout their lives, despite marrying a Humble and a Downs. But my granddaughter and grandson, from my daughter, would be Humble-Finne. If my son ever has offspring they would be Finne-Downs.

Petter Level 8 June 1, 2019

Keeping one's maiden name could make things confusing for descendants doing geneological research at a future point in time. But so far as I'm concerned, one should be able to go by any name they wish--be it "Rumplestiltskin", "Lollapoluzza",or "Santa Claus"! In fact, I'd like to see ID laws abolished. Merely asking to see one's "ID" is an invasion of privacy. Prior to mandatory social security cards in the early 1930s, Americans could, in fact, go by any alias they wished.

davknight Level 7 June 1, 2019

This is just an aside but did you know that in the original text Rumplestiltskin meant 'Wrinkled foreskin". And this is the whole punch line of the fairytale. The young innocent maiden would never ever have thought of a name like that. Just a bit of trivia i read somewhere.


I changed my name the first time, because my maiden name was difficult for others to pronounce and spell correctly, and because I thought a "family" should share a name. I kept it after the divorce because that was how most people knew me. I changed it again for number two, because of my hatred for number one, and the desire to bury that part of my life.

Now I'm keeping #2's name because I'm too lazy to go have it legally changed. I have contemplated creating a surname which combines all three:



Allow choice .

BBJong Level 7 June 1, 2019

My ex had some of the issues that you did although she got her maiden name back in the divorce. That does not mean that loans or certificates automatically have to change your name back. There is a fee for that.

I also believe that IF a woman chooses not to change her name at marriage, that is her business. Why would she have to?

DenoPenno Level 8 June 1, 2019

I never did change my name, I still have my birth surname. In 1972 is was rare for a woman to keep her maiden name and I was questioned often about it.

MsHoliday Level 8 June 1, 2019

I’ve noticed in Canada it is a lot less common. In America it’s still prevalent. I believe it has a lot to do with religion.
My father was adamant we not change our names when we got married. He often said that he would have encouraged our mother to keep hers.. but it was a different time in the 60’s.

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