I was dead before I was born and that wasn't a big deal.

Me = consciousness + this body and memories and mind and expeirnces and influences (Kauva).

When this body passes parts of it will still carry on. Memories of it and influences (karmic resultants). Consciousness will still be around as it is always around. The "Kauva" vessel and filter will will just no longer be used by it.

Know you will go through all five stages (though for an Atheist bargaining seems to be way shorter). [grief.com]

It will take time.

You need to be kind to yourself.

Your right about how the death of different folks in your life can effect you differently. I lost both of my parents in the past few years and although sad/hard it was not really tragic, as they had long full lives. However, during he same time period, I also lost three cousins or their spouses about my age. These losses were also very hard as they were so unexpected and hit closer to home in terms of my own mortality.

I have never grieved for anyone who died and I don't know why -Its sort of a mystery to me - People I really loved - they died I felt nothing; people i never liked died, I felt nothing. My best friends dad died and she felt nothing until a famous celebrity died and then she cried - I have never cried, maybe I have a chromosome missing.

Understanding what death is and it is not difficult. We all go through it but we only see it as a human experience, not a natural universal transition.

I,m trying my best to avoid it ... its working so far .

Alan Watts' did a very logical explanation of how to understand and cope with death. I think it takes time to gradually accept death. I think I now accept it better than I did in the past though I still have a little worry about it left in me.

I’m still trying to figure that out, myself. I’m fine with my own death, though.

I will unfortunately have to deal with the passing of my twin boys that will be eight in December. I don't know how my ex and I will fare, but I know it will be devastating. I'm just as prepared for that event as I was almost eight years ago.

Prepare for it, to the point where when it happens you realise that that's what you wanted to happen.

Acceptance 1st. You'll never see them again. That's hard. No voice, smell, noise, etc. I lost a girlfriend to cancer. At so young, well. Next. Others can offer sympathy, but advise from those who have NOT lost should be treated with polite dismissal.

What is this grief that is talked about?
The unfulfilled narcissistic desires now unachievable because of another's death?
The anger at having failed to do everything possible to enable smooth progression past another's death?

I wonder how many have sat down with the loved and significant ones and said "I give you permission to die before me and thank you for having fulfilled the following points on my bucket list. I will be a tad miffed if you die before we achieve x, y and z."

Have you made your will and given instructions / powers of attorney in the event of your own loss of capacity eg.in coma?

Has everyone else?

I suggest that you ask yourself the question "Am I a slave or believe myself incapable of indepence once the other person dies?"

A truthful inner answer will show what remedies if any are required. You will not have too great a grieving period when other's deaths occur.

That depends on how close I am to the person and how they died.