I was told today by my box doctor that I need to be spayed (hysterectomy). I’m thrilled, I wanted to be done with menstruation as soon as it started. Fuck that kibble.
Everyone I’ve told has given their sincerest condolences, thoughts and prayers and utter sadness that I’m almost 40 and childless. I love how society assumes every woman wants children and that it’s a profound loss when we can’t have them. I’ve NEVER wanted children, I don’t like them. I’m not maternal in the slightest and these little spawns running around are disgusting. I’m also disturbed enough that it’d be a real probability that I’d raise the next Charles Manson or TJ Lane.
Needless to say, I’m ecstatic!
Now that is a positive outlook!
Has the doctor offered a laproscopic surgery? Less recovery time if it can be done that way.
I had my sub-total hyst done at age 36. Kept my ovaries and cervix because I didn't want terrible bone loss and well sex!
Went through a nuclear/instant menopause - and than the hormones came back (cause I kept my ovaries). That wasn't fun.
If there aren't any contraindications I highly recommend Oxybutynin for hot flashes.
I was going through radiation and I went into a hard menopause for the second time and the Oxybutynin was awesome! Also did not need to pee very often? lol (It's an off label use of an overactive bladder medication). My cousin told me about it. She's 20 years older - and radiation also shut off her hormones for a brief time.
If you do find you need support feel free to message me.
I was sad to lose my chance to have children. But my best friend growing up was precisely like you and never wanted kids - so I get it!
Also I had Endometriosis and Adenomyosis and the pain about killed me. I don't miss that at all.
I am 70 and have remained childless.....yes, there are regrets when I see my friends' grandchildren .......but I was an only child who was never in contact with babies and I spent all my teens and twenties looking for Mr. Right...and constantly worrying about getting pregnant. If I had married and trusted and loved my partner ...I would have had children.
Best decision I ever made was to have that thing surgically extracted! I am childless and am damn happy this way. I had the surgery in Utah when I was living there. I had to sign a form verifying that I was well aware that I was being "sterilized". YES take it away! And perhaps a few more of you mormons should consider it too to save water, food, and other resources for the rest of us who aren't as greedy was what I wanted to add to the form (:
There are a few considerations to be discussed with your doctor. Menopause ( natural or articial have some consequences with respect to your hormone environment, not just the reproductive ones , but also skin, bones and endocrine. I am glad for you. Hope all goes well. Be good to yourself for a few weeks after the operation.
I think you made the correct choice in not having children. Children should only be born to those who want to be parents. And children are expensive, messy, disruptive, and a crap ton of work. Not everyone is cut out to deal with it, and I love your honesty.
Now the hysterectomy is another story. You did not mention how extensive or which way it will be done, which is of course your perogative. Having had C-sections and working in disability claims, don't be surprised if it doesn't kick you onto your butt for a few days. Even the less invasive procedures are like having a blender in your guts. There are some huge hormonal changes that can happen not to mention it is abdominal surgery. Just listen to your body and take a few days of pampering. And good luck!! I do hope you sail through.
I'm in no way saying you should feel a loss, however I do think it's not uncommon to mourn a meaningless loss anyway. For 37 years I couldn't play the violin because I didn't want to learn. The realization that nerve damage/issues in my hand means I will never learn to play the violin did still feel like a loss. It was really strange
This comment is about me, not you. I am happy for you that you feel happy about, but your post made me think of that oddity. Congrats on your freedom.