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Assumptions...

I was told today by my box doctor that I need to be spayed (hysterectomy). I’m thrilled, I wanted to be done with menstruation as soon as it started. Fuck that kibble.

Everyone I’ve told has given their sincerest condolences, thoughts and prayers and utter sadness that I’m almost 40 and childless. I love how society assumes every woman wants children and that it’s a profound loss when we can’t have them. I’ve NEVER wanted children, I don’t like them. I’m not maternal in the slightest and these little spawns running around are disgusting. I’m also disturbed enough that it’d be a real probability that I’d raise the next Charles Manson or TJ Lane.

Needless to say, I’m ecstatic!

PeppermintDreads 7 Mar 13
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14 comments

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Also "Spayed" - snicker....

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Now that is a positive outlook!

Has the doctor offered a laproscopic surgery? Less recovery time if it can be done that way.

I had my sub-total hyst done at age 36. Kept my ovaries and cervix because I didn't want terrible bone loss and well sex!

Went through a nuclear/instant menopause - and than the hormones came back (cause I kept my ovaries). That wasn't fun.

If there aren't any contraindications I highly recommend Oxybutynin for hot flashes.

I was going through radiation and I went into a hard menopause for the second time and the Oxybutynin was awesome! Also did not need to pee very often? lol (It's an off label use of an overactive bladder medication). My cousin told me about it. She's 20 years older - and radiation also shut off her hormones for a brief time.

If you do find you need support feel free to message me.

I was sad to lose my chance to have children. But my best friend growing up was precisely like you and never wanted kids - so I get it!

Also I had Endometriosis and Adenomyosis and the pain about killed me. I don't miss that at all.

@PeppermintDreads I had pain from the time I was 11 years old - day one.
I was not sad about losing that. Or the heck of just about bleeding to death.

I fully appreciate that you are ok with this. And that makes sense to me.

Two weeks is soon(ish) - but if you behave during recovery you should be ok. I pre planned things to do during recovery. The internet was still dial up at that point. 😉

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I am 70 and have remained childless.....yes, there are regrets when I see my friends' grandchildren .......but I was an only child who was never in contact with babies and I spent all my teens and twenties looking for Mr. Right...and constantly worrying about getting pregnant. If I had married and trusted and loved my partner ...I would have had children.

I would have liked children. I'm sorry you missed out.

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I am stupid, fill me in something. After a hysterectomy, can you still have an orgasm?

The hysterectomy removes the uterus - but the rest of the needed equipment for orgasm is the clitoris and if through intercourse - vagina. Those are intact post Hysterectomy. Therefore the nerve pathways aren't interrupted in any way.

If the woman can keep her cervix it also preserves more of the nerves involved - which can be a plus. But I've had friends who had total hysts. (Which also removed the cervix and the ovaries) who reported their orgasms as unchanged.

I used to teach sex ed. to my peers in college. Once an educator.... 😉

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Best decision I ever made was to have that thing surgically extracted! I am childless and am damn happy this way. I had the surgery in Utah when I was living there. I had to sign a form verifying that I was well aware that I was being "sterilized". YES take it away! And perhaps a few more of you mormons should consider it too to save water, food, and other resources for the rest of us who aren't as greedy was what I wanted to add to the form (:

You are right about one thing, some people should NOT have kids. It's getting pretty spooky out here. I figure I will be singing with Elvis before the heavy shit starts happening. As the population grows, it's gonna get pretty competitive, even more "dog-eat-dog". It's not gonna get better, it's gonna get worse. We thought the "AGE OF AQUARIUS" was on it's way, turned out to be the "AGE OF DOG TURDS"!!!!

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There are a few considerations to be discussed with your doctor. Menopause ( natural or articial have some consequences with respect to your hormone environment, not just the reproductive ones , but also skin, bones and endocrine. I am glad for you. Hope all goes well. Be good to yourself for a few weeks after the operation.

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I think you made the correct choice in not having children. Children should only be born to those who want to be parents. And children are expensive, messy, disruptive, and a crap ton of work. Not everyone is cut out to deal with it, and I love your honesty.

Now the hysterectomy is another story. You did not mention how extensive or which way it will be done, which is of course your perogative. Having had C-sections and working in disability claims, don't be surprised if it doesn't kick you onto your butt for a few days. Even the less invasive procedures are like having a blender in your guts. There are some huge hormonal changes that can happen not to mention it is abdominal surgery. Just listen to your body and take a few days of pampering. And good luck!! I do hope you sail through.

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I'm with you on celebrating the end of periods (wish I could), but I've had about enough of the child-hate around here. You don't want a kid? Fine. I don't care. But these 'kids are horrible' posts make me think some people doth protest too much.

@PeppermintDreads Well, you made sense for a minute and then you started talking crap about the people who will wipe your tush when you're old. That made less sense to me.

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Well "box doctor" is my new favorite thing to say so thanks for that.

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Congratulations!

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I didn't want or have kids. They are expensive, they will wreck your car, and marry someone you don't like. No regrets. I do realize women get more grief for not having children than we do, generally from other women more than men I suspect.

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After I had my hysterectomy in the Dark Ages, I was accused of trying to sell them!

Trying to sell children? Really? I sense a story you should tell.

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I'm in no way saying you should feel a loss, however I do think it's not uncommon to mourn a meaningless loss anyway. For 37 years I couldn't play the violin because I didn't want to learn. The realization that nerve damage/issues in my hand means I will never learn to play the violin did still feel like a loss. It was really strange

This comment is about me, not you. I am happy for you that you feel happy about, but your post made me think of that oddity. Congrats on your freedom.

I was 25 before I had a knee repair surgery (my knee cap was in the wrong place). Meant I was never going to be good at sports in my formative years. I've mourned that. (I was gimpy as a teen and young adult - now I walk just fine!).

I totally understand your sadness over the nerve damage. It is a loss.

It is precisely what people who are disabled by anything - go through. You're smart to recognize the loss!

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I know a few women who have never wanted children, and all of them are absolutely sick of being told "Oh, but you do really!" whenever they say they don't. Congratulations on remaining true to yourself! 🙂

Jnei Level 8 Mar 13, 2018
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