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What are the chances

So I just discovered the hermit across the street from us did something nice for me a couple of years ago, per his own admission; another neighbor, standing right there, had withheld the identity of the nice deed doer.
From this I discovered my eyesight is not that great, having never met him in 12 years and never been within 5 ft of the guy until last week.

For a split second I got stars in my eyes, wasn't expecting that at all. That hasn't happened in over 22 years.
I feel compelled to kill this pseudo crush due to proximity and sanity's sake, and well, fear.

My late husband and I would occasionally joke that he was the serial killer on the block, or a russian spy. He's very kind to the elderly neighbors however, snowblowing, etc for them.

Another neighbor a couple houses down has never seen him before in the 3 years she's lived here.
It's like I never knew he existed except for obnoxious use of leaf blower until last week.
The thought occurred to me to bring cookies to sleuth what might be below the surface. He's also as "web dead" as anyone can possibly be.
Doesn't appear to have visitors.

What would you do.

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Qualia 8 Mar 16
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36 comments (26 - 36)

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2

Why worry about it? He hasn't done anything wrong. Sure, he might be a serial killer or something like that. But then again, one day you, I, or anyone could snap and buy an AK47 and head for a schoolyard. Why put yourself in an unnecessary state of worry?

Now, on the news they do interviews of neighbors of various killers and so on. The answer is almost always "He was polite, but real quiet. He always kept to himself and never bothered anybody." Most of the people like that in this world go through their private lives, without harming anyone.

Have you ever seen Michael Moore's TV Nation back in the day, where they did all the things notorious serial killers did, then interviewed the neighbors?

My gut is telling me there are reasons why I feel the way I do, despite having attempted to make light of it, am being minimized & 'splained about it on this very thread, by both men and women. I'm a bad, evil bitchy, person, well yanno what. That tells me who I'll never waste time on on this site. Granted I'm not be the best writer but geez.

Nothing is likely to come of it all but all the painfully shy people are angry about it. Well it goes both ways. I can see this going nowhere fast. It's gonna be cookies and that's that.

2

I would definitely reach out. Can't be too bad a guy, hopefully, if he's that considerate of the elderly neighbors! I bet he'd really appreciate the gesture.

Thank you for not dogpiling me! It was meant as a cynical humorous post. There are cookies in his future whatever the case.

2

Your neighbor sounds a little like me.
I consider myself (as do others) as being a nice guy. I'm not antisocial because... Well, I'm here on this site. Plus I shoot the shit with people I know in person.
I'm just the type that keeps to himself. And tries to be helpful whenever I can.
(Sounds like your neighbor. To me at least)

2

Do something nice.

1

I was unable to vote as there was no option that he's just a quiet man who keeps to himself and has to contend with a nosy neighbor with an overactive imagination

well you 'splained me. Good job ....

1

Sounds like beau in "To Kill a Mockingbird"

Yeah ok. Robert Duvall pretty hot back then too.

1

How many times do you hear about the neighbor who was "always pleasant", "active in their community", " "meticulously maintained they property", "the life of the party"; who also tortured their family or other unsavory acts. Just because someone is not just like you does not make them a bad person. Hell, it may make them a better one!

This hyperbolic thread really got your goat didn't it. Sorry not sorry.

@Qualia

Why yes...yes it did. It hits close to home. You don't happen to live in Covington, GA, do you?

@Reignmond No but I'm from the south originally. I'm really a goof and a moosh so the fact so many people took exception to this "joke post" caught me off guard. Perhaps my humor doesn't translate well online.

@Reignmond re: shyness. My girl is horribly shy in person vs online. I'm always having to work on her that "she has a right to be and question and say Hi to people". She's a different animal online. I think some of this must be genetic because I'm ok with "faking it til I make it" in a lot of scenarios. I easily fool people for brief periods of time that I'm an extrovert when am really a homebody for the most part. Social in small doses here.

The only situation that gets me is going into the ring with my dog, I turn into another person sick with nerves, but even there I just "wing it" not expecting anything and have done well with that.
Remember your "shit" is somebody else's cake. Don't sell yourself short.

@Qualia
My introvertedness in due to being inherently a loner type, not due to shyness. However, I have had a few jobs that required me to be a extrovert (sales, public speaking, para-law enforcement). So I have learned to turn it on and off as needed.

@Qualia Oh, it's meant as a joke?

1

I bought and moved into my first house about two years ago. My sister also lives on the street and she got several of us into a community project that lasted a few months. But if it hadn't been for her, I might not really know my neighbors either. I'm 50. I live alone. I don't have visitors. My car is in the garage, so who would know if I'm home being a hermit or out having a life? No one.

I snow blow the sidewalk in front of the neighbor's house because she's my age and would otherwise have to do it with a shovel, and it has to stay cleared by law. But we don't hang out.

If I hadn't gotten to know my neighbors through that project, it might be a long time before I knew what they looked like. In two years, I'd never once seen the retired couple two houses up the street. But I met them because of the project. Haven't seen them again since.

If not for that project (and my sister knowing everyone) folks might wonder about me. It would bother me to think that perhaps they were wondering if I'm a weirdo, or socially stunted, or a serial killer.

I get your point, but statistically speaking the chances of your being female and a serial killer are exceedingly remote.
Please read the comments below. And now I'm having second thoughts about this whole thing. Maybe there's a reason my dear elderly neighbor didn't want me to know who the benefactor was. He & his wife actually have a very clear history of watching out for us.

@Qualia True, people probably don't think I'm a serial killer. But all of your option were negative. As a single person who has lived alone for a long time, I'm hyper aware of the negative stereotypes about women my age who live alone, and (gasp) have cats. So I felt a kinship with this neighbor of yours who seemed to only have one positive aspect - he's handsome. Other than that, the assumption seemed to be that there was something "wrong" with him. Even dangerously wrong. I've read the whole thread and I still can't figure out what's so off about him that scares you.

Sounds like me. In Buffalo, (people are much friendlier than in semi-rural Georgia) we would often help each other with snow shoveling, even when you had almost no other discourse with them.

@Reignmond I have to do the sidewalk in front of my house, and it's actually easier for me to go all the way past her house to her driveway to turn around. Otherwise, I'd have to just stop at her property line and back up. Plus, it just feels good to help someone out, especially when it literally takes about one minute. (I'm less than an hour south of Buffalo)

@carlyhorton I miss WNY.

@carlyhorton Which witch?

1

He might just think all his neighbours are very odd and thinks the same about you as you do about him?

Maybe! But based on the kind anonymous gesture after my husband passed that would seem contrarian. What is kind of bugging me now is why the neighbor who delivered the gift never divulged who it was from so I could thank him earlier.

everyone doesn't need to be recognised for being a good person. I hate millionaires who give a few thousand to charity to just use to better themselves. though it serves a purpose for the charity but I still prefer anonymous donators.

maybe you never sore how your late husband and this strange man interacted when you weren't in the equation. I'm not suggesting anything.maybe he likes woman more than men. perhaps you could just ask? just a thought.

@Qualia Not divulging says more about that neighbour and definately means that I support the cookie lobby 🙂

@ipdg77 Thank you 🙂

@LeighShelton "maybe you never sore how your late husband and this strange man interacted when you weren't in the equation. I'm not suggesting anything.maybe he likes woman more than men. perhaps you could just ask? just a thought."

LOL right.

I did use the word perhaps as I can't possibly know you at all hardly apart from we do have somethings in common ie we are all 4 humans and I probably would ask but I'm not you.

ALL RIGHT LOL?

1

Leave the guy alone.

FO.

@Qualia I can see why the guy avoids you. I would too.

@Anonbene Cool. I"m an acquired taste for sure, no lie. My mixtape can be too fire for some, no need to expend energy needlessly. TaTa .

1

I think you shouldnt presume anything or judge a book by its cover. its not the " strange and wierd " people that should concern you. most villains, rapists, murderers and child abusers who don't want to stand out from the crowd for obvious reasons.

Read "The Gift of Fear" by Gavin de Becker

sounds interesting, ill have a look thank you.

looks very good. I have it on the way as we speak.

@LeighShelton It should be taught in schools and given to every female old enough to comprehend it. Women from birth are often "groomed" to not make waves or appear rude.
It has all sorts of situations in it, institutional etc that everyone can benefit from. I've given it to a couple of people as gifts. You can get it for a song on amazon.

I've ordered it already thanks to you. let's face it woman are vulnerable from birth to death though it's completely wrong.

I remember doing a snowshoeing demo at a Buffalo Winter Carnival. Next to me was a group of people with extensive tattooing and piercings, and I have to admit I was put-off a bit by them at first. They looked alien! They were in fact, some of the nicest people you ever met.

I fully understand as humans we are constantly groomed to look like everybody else so no surprise really @Reignmond. here's a great film that reminds me of this called they live.

@Reignmond I have some heavily tattooed "out there" friends and they are indeed some of the nicest people you'd ever want to meet.

With all that being so closed is a big turn off to me. You know why? I have seen that ***t in action on the oncology floor where certain family members just went with whatever at the hospital. Pain pump left on equipment you couldn't reach if someone wasn't there to put it back in your hands?
How about an intern treating your SO's #10 pain as if they just fell into the hospital for the 1st time- roughly "palpating" them unnecessarily when they're dying?
Would you question this? Even get that intern off your SO's case?

Are you(global) going to be so lily livered that you just allow your SO to suffer without having the sack to question staff when needed?

There are people like this and I don't want to be in any sort of relationship with them.

you are indeed right but I just am not one of them but I can say that about a hell of a lot more people without tattoos too. I'm an artist and just see my skin as another canvas really and have done quite a few of the tattoos myself on myself. I still like them and chose them after I became disabled. unfortunately for me, some tattooed people think they look tough and there are prison tattoos, especially in America on lifers or gang members. also, they are becoming much more acceptable now so I've become a victim of fashion and I hate conforming and being fashionable. im much deeper than that.

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