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Admitting the truth

What is the best way to admit to your family, friends and co workers that you are a non-believer? It is a personal struggle that I have been working on for about a year and a half. I am getting tired of hiding it.

Meaniebabyinga 5 Aug 4
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38 comments (26 - 38)

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3

I grow weary of tiptoeing for fear that someone "can't handle the truth." It is a form of control by intimidation. And, I find, it is largely self-imposed: it turns out the sky didn't fall when I started saying, simply, "I'm an atheist." And I live in (very) Mormon Utah.

and I applaud you for that!

3

I wish I had some advice. I don’t think anyone in my family is religious. We never talk about it. The subject is never mentioned at work either.

3

I cam eout as atheist at the same time I came out as beign gay. My family was a lot more concerned aobut my beign gay.

Anyway, my strategy in coming out as atheist too, was that it would disarm them and keep them from using their religion to argue against my being gay. And, it mostly worked.

In my case, because of my parent's religion (Mormon), I knew i'd never really be close to them no matter what. So, I tried to think through how I could come out (I was more concerned about coming out as gay, as my oldest brother had already come out as an atheist, but it did put a permanent wall between him and my parents keepign them form having a close relationship). So, this was the mid 1980's before emails and texts, and I chose to write a letter, because I reasoned either a phone call or in person would likely result in things beign said which coudl nto be taken back. Also my patents lived about 600 miles away at the time.

Anyway, each personh's situation is different. It's best to think things through and plan up to a point. However no matter how you prepare things seldom work out completely hte way you'd like them to.

You could just search for a really funny atheist T-shirt and wear it over to their house(s). There are indirect ways like that to let them know.

I think the most important thing is if they ask you directly don't lie about it to spare their feelings. If you lie, when the truth comes out, they will be a lot mroe hurt, than if you just told them upfront.

2

My friends are all agnostic or atheist. My religious family thinks I am immortal because I do not believe in god. I think I am the only evolved one out of my entire family. They are sexist, racist and homophobic so needless to say I disowned them. My co-workers don't mean anything to me it's just a job not life.

Immortal? lol

2

I felt like I needed to let people know for the longest time but was holding it in. It's almost like that old saying "When you're in love you want to let the whole world to know". If you're wanting to wear your non-belief on your sleeve then let people know when the moment arises for you in conversation. Personally, I let the topic be brought up naturally and it was a lot easier than pulling people aside to tell them I'm non-believer. So I'd say seize the next opportunity you have to say you're a non-believer when the conversation calls for it. It doesn't have to be a big reveal (unless your situation calls for it)

2

Depends on how intolerance they are

2

We are all born atheists, we have to be indoctrinated into religion. If you think harm will come from coming out as an atheist, I'd say don't. If your family is understanding and will take you for who you are, I'd say go for it. They will try to save your soul from devil, or quit communicating with you at all. Be prepared for any of that. I've heard alot of people say that it's harder to come out as an atheist than being gay. But you know your family better than anybody, just wait for the right time. They're only two ways, fast or slow. Kinda like a bandaid, would they rather you rip it off fast, or rip it off slow. Don't let anyone make up your mind for you. When you're ready, make sure and go over your pre scripted answers to all their questions so you won't fumble over yourself. I hope this helps.

1

I'd avoid it in the workplace as you are in Georgia - unless you feel that it will turn out okay in some way. (ie there's an atheist there and it turned out okay for them).
I've heard some terrible stories of how atheists were drummed out of the workplace by believers.

As for family - are there people important enough to you to have a 1 on 1 conversation about your non-belief? Often telling one or two will be enough - they'll tell others. And then other members will ask you whatever their questions are.

My family had my coming out party in reverse they told me "Well you're an atheist - so he should be talking to you!". lol I was all "Oh I guess I am?". 😀

I just hadn't thought about it in those terms. I absolutely was an Atheist. I just hadn't felt the need to label it and tell my family - they knew I was not religious.

1

Tell them that you're a humanist (they're all atheist).

1

When I "came out" it was matter of factly. People simply assume everyone believes what they so, I just pushed back on doing the same things. Eventually, I told my mother and she flatly denied that was possible. Same with my sister. After say 10+ years, they recognized it was a fact. Just tell them. You are entitled to believe what you want. They will learn to deal with it.

1

“I don’t believe because it doesn’t make sense “ It puts the ball in their court. You don’t have to say anything else. None of it does make sense, so what can they say that does?

1

When required or needed just say "I'm not a believer". If someone wants more detail give it to them. On a need to know basis of course. My 2 cts..

0

becoming truly atheist or even agnostic relieves us of the necessity of explaining ourselves to any one ... For any reason...

blzjz Level 7 Aug 6, 2019
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