The mind is the best sex organ. I get turned on by sexy talk and am uninhibited doing it. It's delicious and arousing. In contrast, my boyfriend is oddly quiet. He just moans.
"What do you want?" I asked during sex. "I don't know." "What feels good?" "It all feels good."
It's like shouting into a void. Today I sent him this article (below) to spur discussion. Of course, he immediately felt inadequate as a lover. I smoothed it over:
I was afraid you would feel inadequate and criticized. I'm sorry you feel bad.
When confronted with a problem, I immediately see 10 different options. As a professional mediator, my training is to talk it over, to problem-solve.
With sex, I need to know what turns you on, what feels good. Sexy talk turns me on.
"It all feels good," you replied when I asked, both times we had sex. Groan. Specific answers give me ideas to play with during sex.
"Actually it’s fine to talk. I like that sexy talk turns you on, I will go with that and see what happens."
We'll see how it goes.