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Do you have a checklist/criteria for a potential romantic partner?

I'm curious is there a basic criteria that any of you guys expect to be met before you would consider being in a romantic relationship with someone ( ex. like they need to have a job or provide for themselves, good hygiene, etc.?

Cherish 5 Mar 22

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Absolutely, and when I posted my exacting list of specifications, I got precicely ONE reply.

We have been married almost eight years.

You were Really fortunate - and so was she!


Yes, "4 legs good, 2 legs bad" (George Orwell)

Um, wasnt it "Four legs good, two lega better?"

@Wageslave Actually, I'm not sure. I would have to go back and read "Animal Farm" again to know for sure.


I have 3 deal-breakers: 1 must like dogs 2 can't like Trump 3 doesn't wear hats in warm weather.

Doesn't wear hats in warm weather?! LOL what?

I've had bad experiences with women that wear hats, psycho every one of them.

@clarkatticus think that may be confusing correlation with causation LOL


Breathing.....err everything else is negotiable 🙂


everyone does don't they?


really single (no "in process", "open marriage" stuff),
no kids at home (done w/ that stage of my life, thank you)
older than my daughter
politics somewhat agreeable (lefty in my case)
financially independent
emotionally independent
physically independent (the last 3 -- not looking for "a nurse and a purse" )
--- these are non-negotiable

after that it's all tied up in exchanges

  • physical "assets" vs mental "assets" - have known some non-beauties that I'd love to know more and some beauties that I'd rather never see again.
  • forward looking versus in the moment -- Hell, I can't even get that one straight!
  • distance -- local vs on the "other coast" - someone has to relocate! and that's a whole new cn of worms isn't it!

all in all
looking for some one who wants me, but doesn't need me, that I could find comfortable spooning with in bed.


I had quite a detailed list before I got married. And another one for my second marriage. So I don't have one now..........


I wouldn't say checklist so much as "in general" qualities. I want her to be attractive, but doesn't need to be a supermodel (I'm certainly not), intelligent so we can have insightful and meaningful conversations, and it would be good if she's able to stand on her own, yet sees something worthwhile about myself that she would choose me over all others. And really when it comes down to it, we just need good chemistry.


They would have to prove themself:

  1. Honest
  2. Honorable
  3. Rational
  4. Respectful
  5. Non-smoker
  6. Pleasant smelling

When I was about twenty, I was at an anniversary party for a couple who had been married 45 years. I asked the wife what their secret was. She told me it was choosing the right partner, and then working together to make it a partnership. She said that as young people, we need to know that everyone has faults, without exception. The thing is to know that the person you want to marry has a set of faults that you are willing to live with for the rest of your life. And she was right.

I'm pretty much past that point now, but while I was young, I learned I could never marry anyone who was violent or cruel, or who was always inconsiderate or drunk, or had no sense of humor.
So she was right, and I folllowed her advice! When you know what you don't want, the rest can be fun to discover!


Dpn't we all...even if we don't use paper and pencil?


Kind, honest, intelligent


A person who is independent and not needy. That's all.


Well a job is important, hygeine is too, has a good heart and personality, isnt the control freak type, and isnt a religious nut, so far those are the big ones for me, and not an addict of substances


I prefer people who aren't raving right-wing nutjobs. Loving animals is a must, as is a liberal attitude regarding gay/women's/trans/etc rights. Pretty much everything else is open to negotiation, though I do like outdoorsy types.

Jnei Level 8 Mar 22, 2018

Also, must like cats. I split up with someone once for not liking cats.


Don't you as a woman have your own criteria? Why not open it up to men and women?

Sorry, I have a childhood habit of saying you guys instead of you. I meant the question to be open to both women and men.

Respectful of my liberal and freethinker beliefs, loves animals, music, travel, emotionaly and sexually available, Accepts me for who I am and vica versa.

@Cherish I, and several other people in the European women's cycling scene, do the same with "chaps" - chaps can refer to men, women, parts of bikes, trees, clouds and just about anything else. This is partly because there are a lot of East Europeans and Basques in the sport and not many of us know how to pronounce their names, so "Hello chap!" is used instead 🙂

@Jnei I use the term with the cats, too. 🙂

@Cherish I tend to use "you little monsters" for animals I like. Ferrets are "monsters", cats are "catmonsters", hedgehogs are "spikymonsters" and rabbits are "fluffymonsters". I have to remind myself to use the proper word if I meet an animal in the street so people don't think I'm mad. 🙂


I have a mental checklist cultivated over the course of several long term relationships and short term interludes which taught me more about what i won't tolerate than what I am looking for... but here goes...

Attributes: honest (non negotiable), kind and an open, curious personality
Compatability needs to be stronger on the mental and emotional side, but physical chemistry is also a nice to have.
Practical: Lives nearby, self sufficient and mentally/emotionally stable enough to function in an interdependent relationship.
Everything else is negotiable.


I have 3 deal-breakers: 1 must like dogs 2 can't like Trump 3 doesn't wear hats in warm weather.


Brown eyes
Holding a job
Under 60 years old


I have the philosophy that everyone has something else to bring to the dating negotiating table. Won't tolerate drugs, do not care for smoking that is what mouthwash and toothpaste are for.


Keep it open, honest & be transparent. Being clear without any misunderstanding as well being true to yourself to your future partner. Equality like the Swedish way & not accepting the ancient outdated dating system in the USA that gives men too much power!



Be a woman
Have an income
Be at least somewhat active
At least tolerate Doctor Who (as it is everywhere in my home)


Use tobacco
Have or want children

Everything else is negotiable.

Bow ties are cool, so are fezs.
Run, you silly man, run.
Who are you? I'm the Doctor. Dr who?


Of course there's a short list. it's something like 1) self supporting 2) sense of humor 3) no substance advise issues, 4) some chemistry between us and 5) not otherwise obligated.. no particular order for these. But sometimes I think it's like asking for the moon..


Yes must have a calander, to book the date and tine time for making love and ensure the bedrrom has an egg timer, beside the bottle of wine. JAMES

Leon Level 5 Mar 22, 2018
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