Agnostic.com

17 5

Marriage, and the other side

After reading @Victorianotes post, I started thinking how many of us were never married.
I am not looking for the story of how your marriage failed but how many of us succeeded.

View Results
Akfishlady 8 Mar 25

Post a comment Reply Add Photo

Enjoy being online again!

Welcome to the community of good people who base their values on evidence and appreciate civil discourse - the social network you will enjoy.

Create your free account

17 comments

Feel free to reply to any comment by clicking the "Reply" button.

0

I have been happily married for 22 years. I was 21 and my husband was 3 months shy of 21 when we were married. We joke that we have grown up together.

0

I was kinda forced into it by society and we stayed that way for 21 years. We've been divorced for 18. We needed to tie the knot to have legal purchasing power i.e a car, house etc. We loved each other and would've stayed together regardless. We're good friends now and still talk to each other. It was a good experience with our religious differences always lingering over us.

0

Seperated to continue medical coverage for now

jeffy Level 7 Mar 25, 2018
0

Happily divorced and Catholicism led both of us to be married for 10 years. I don't think I would have married or had children if I had not been religious.

0

Never married.

0

I'm a 2 time loser. There will NOT be a third, even from here.

0

I was married, and now happily divorced. Divorce was the sane option in this case, due to numerous factors that were never going to improve, and probably would have gotten worse. In my case divorce equaled success.

Someday, I aspire to have long-term happiness with someone and maybe that will lead to marriage again.

4

Married at 20, awaiting 11th anniversary. Been through many wonderful and terrible things together, grew up a lot, changed a lot, but made a choice to stay together and work out everything, including sexual preferences, worldviews, and everything in between. I think, being very young at the time worked for us, because we grew into the marriage that we have together. We got lucky

4

58 golden years and still going . The first time I saw her in chemistry I said I was going marry her > My partner laughed and 4 years later we were married in a military ceremony all Marines as attendents.

Thanks for being a brilliant example for those of us who haven't had that kind of success. You're truly an inspiration.

0

Have been close that one flaw that happens too many times gets in the way, the religious syndrome.

2

I nearly replied to a comment who had lost her marriage companion to an illness. Then I realized each of my divorces were like trying to save my life by cutting off a limb.

So .... I'm sorry for all of our losses and the pain we had to go through. Here's hoping we make better future choices and have better fortunes .... or find a way to happily avoid the situation in the future.

The latter is likely mostly for me. I've decided my partner picker is severely broken.

Pretty much my story, too.

5

Success....

8

I think my first marriage (of 7 years) would have succeeded (been lasting) had my partner not sustain a traumatic brain injury with a significant change in personality, and then suicide. Before he started to go downhill, we had a quality marriage of mutual respect, honesty, and open communication. We also played together, gave each other space, and were best friends.

TBI's are hard to come back from. I am so sorry for your loss.

@HippieChick58 Yes, they are. Thank you. 🙂

4

18 years with the same man but never married. Taking a break right now so not sure what the future holds.

11

I hung in there for over 25 years. People change and sometimes you're not the person you were when you married. Sometimes it is better for the children if you have an amicable divorce rather than an acrimonious togetherness. There are no medals either way.

I've considered that a lot, @HippieChick58. I know so many people who lead separate lives from their spouse, yet consider it an accomplishment that they're still together after (fill-in-the-blank) years. I knew someone who was having a 50th wedding anniversary when it was almost a miracle that they would show up in the same room together. I was a bit offended to be a part of the charade. But then, so much of religion is just showing up, isn't it?

@HippieChick58, In my case, a drawn out, bitter divorce was a better choice for everyone than remaining with a narcissistic abuser. Still, as you said, no medals.

3

Married at 23 - left after 16 years
Married at 42 - lasted 2 years

1

Never married and never will

Write Comment
You can include a link to this post in your posts and comments by including the text q:42962
Agnostic does not evaluate or guarantee the accuracy of any content. Read full disclaimer.