Is chivalry dead?
We had a recent post on this. No it isn't. This girl appreciates it. It is not sexist to me.
How about mutual respect, I respect but not expect you to say "open the door" for me. Is that contemporary thinking?
I think chivalry is getting rarer, not because people are getting ruder, but the people reacting to it think of it as a violation of equality or something.
It can be veiwed as/feel like condescension.
Only when she isn't worth it
Interesting. Just curious - what determines whether a woman is worthy of chivalry?
It's a lot like religion. It's a bad idea that should have been left when and where it was created, medieval times.
well there are a number of customs that can be attributed to much earlier times. Society changes and context changes. 2nd amendment case in point. Why are making such a big deal out of an amendment that was created to allow american colonists to protect themselves against british soldiers
Chivalry and Religions have absolutely NOTHING in common since religion, for the major part equate the female gender as being far far beneath the that of the male ( see the Tenets of the Abrahamic Belief Systems) whereas Chivalric Behaviour is just a method of showing respect mainly for the females BUT also showing respect for Males as well.
Chivalry and romance generally are on life support.
I have mixed feelings about it. Such things are rooted in the courtly love ethos of the 11th century and that's not really apropos here in the 21st. On the other hand it's fun role-playing -- a framework to relate from. I like being gallant and thoughtful. I think most women want that, or at least used to. Then again ... women are (rightly) tired of being infantalized, which chivalry can easily do.
Yes and no. I still teach my boys certain things, like offering 2 help carry something, or opening doors, but I don't feel it should just be something guys should do 4 girls. I hold doors open 4 people behind me, I've offered 2 help carry things 4 people. Honestly I just want them 2 be kind people, and try 2 think about other peoples feelings and such. I'm also not the type 2 go out of my way 4 everybody tho. If a person has proven they don't deserve respect, I don't feel you should have 2 give it 2 them just 2 prove you're a good person. Also, I've noticed nowadays, a lot of women feel that certain acts of chivalry are rude. So you gotta watch it now
As the whole "women are equal" movement continues, I think we forget that equal doesn't mean the same. We are fundamentally different. Some women still like to be wooed. Other women see it as belittling. And I also think men are being raised to treat women as equals, thus losing chivalry. It's a double edged sword.
For me it is I'm polite at times but wouldn't call it chivalry.
Nah, I think a lot of people — men and women alike — still like chivalrous gestures. Despite the fact that some people think all gender distinctions are societal, I think there's a lot of biochemistry at work still that makes some men feel like providers and some women feel like they want a protector. And if that's what works for people, that's their business (so long as nobody is forced into a role that makes them feel uncomfortable). I like holding the door open for people, but to be generally courteous. When I'm with a woman, especially if I'm romantically inclined toward her, there is an innate feeling of protection that seems instinctive and intrinsically tied to my amorous feelings. But I'm not going to force any chivalrous behavior upon her if it makes her feel awkward or uncomfortable.
Not as long as I am alive, lol. I don't believe the object of chivalry has to be gender specific.
Chivalry-the combination of qualities expected of an ideal knight, especially courage, honor, courtesy, justice, and a readiness to help the weak.
i guess it was originally connected with knights. But as you say it doesn't have to be gender specific.
Not completely, but both men and women are killing it as society "progresses".
I think that you may be wrong in that those of us males who continue to be chivalric towards women/girls are actually trying our darnedest to preserve society as it should be BUT, those who are trying to FORCE-FEED their own PERSONAL Agendas upon everyone else are, i.e. the rampant and often rabid feminists for example, are destroying society as a whole.
@Triphid The extreme feminists are definitely out of their minds. I'm not talking about regular feminists. I'm talking about the ones who think men should all be slaves etc. There are also men who are destroying chivalry though. There are men who play the game and are chivalrous just to get some ass, so when a guy who is just trying to be nice does it, sometimes he gets lectured about how he's being "sexist" or trying to keep the woman down. That is a sure fire way to eventually kill the most altruistic chivalry or any kindness towards women from men. I think that extreme is also toxic. I think it's a cycle and there is plenty of blame to go around with the extremes.
@Triphid And I also want to mention the contradictory nature of some women that want men to be "men", but then grill them in the same breath for being "men". Then the men that aren't being "men" get criticized for not being "men" and left in the dating pool to drown.
Well, it's a case of Yes and No in my opinion.
As a person brought up by my father to treat women/girls with due the respect, decency and equality they deserve to be afforded I continue to do exactly that.
BUT, I have received innumerable insults and even threats from the so-called 'modern' feminists for acts such as opening doors for them, giving up my seat for them on buses, etc.
I have also received countless smiles of appreciation, words of thanks and comments such as "It is so nice to know and see that there are STILL true Gentlemen in this crazy world today."
Personally, I feel that IF Feminists TRULY want absolute EQUALITY then they should resist their need for SEPERATE Facilities ( Toilets, etc, ), expect to be employed to do the harsh, labourious tasks that men do WITHOUT exemptions, etc, and ALL other trappings of femininity completely and utterly.
Were women/girls so badly off when they were shown courtesties by men?
Was it TRULY insulting for them when men were expected to stand up when a woman entered any room?
Was it really an INSULT for a man to defend/protect the honour and decency of a woman or to have a man stand aside and open a door for a woman?
Chivalric behaviour such as simply opening a door for a woman is NOT an insult/slur, IT IS an act of showing reverence and decency towards the female gender without whom NONE of us would have ever been here to begin with.