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Is chivalry dead?

By lbusche7
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Hmm? Depends on if you agree with the following statement:
"Chivalry without chauvanism is just good manners."

Hicks66 Level 7 Mar 26, 2018

As the whole "women are equal" movement continues, I think we forget that equal doesn't mean the same. We are fundamentally different. Some women still like to be wooed. Other women see it as belittling. And I also think men are being raised to treat women as equals, thus losing chivalry. It's a double edged sword.


No, but it smells funny.

JK666 Level 7 Mar 26, 2018



Not as long as I am alive, lol. I don't believe the object of chivalry has to be gender specific.
Chivalry-the combination of qualities expected of an ideal knight, especially courage, honor, courtesy, justice, and a readiness to help the weak.

i guess it was originally connected with knights. But as you say it doesn't have to be gender specific.


Yes and no. I still teach my boys certain things, like offering 2 help carry something, or opening doors, but I don't feel it should just be something guys should do 4 girls. I hold doors open 4 people behind me, I've offered 2 help carry things 4 people. Honestly I just want them 2 be kind people, and try 2 think about other peoples feelings and such. I'm also not the type 2 go out of my way 4 everybody tho. If a person has proven they don't deserve respect, I don't feel you should have 2 give it 2 them just 2 prove you're a good person. Also, I've noticed nowadays, a lot of women feel that certain acts of chivalry are rude. So you gotta watch it now

Byrd Level 7 Mar 26, 2018

I'd like to think the classic ideal of chivalry has given way to common courtesy & kindness. I've held doors for men & women, given up my seat on public transport to the elderly & hugely pregnant. If I'm on a date & dressed to the 9s in high heels, having a hand to help me out of the vehicle or an arm to hold over rough pavement is logical & much appreciated but in all honesty, not expected when i'm sporting tennis shoes & jeans.

I am not sure chivalry is synonymous with kindness, It could be the knight wanted to gain some benefit etc. Knights were also looked up to by many people. There attributes were bravery, sacrifice, protectors. What better way to exemplify that than to be chivalrous.

To my way of thinking, whether she be dressed up to the Nines or simply in jeans and sneakers a woman deserves to be shown respect and treated with respect UNLESS or UNTIL she has shown herself to be completely UNWORTHY of such.
As an example I cite a recent encounter I personally had, I was walking home from a nearby supermarket after getting a few things I needed when I saw a woman ( in her late 60s - early 70s) at the side of the road with a flat tyre on her car.
I went over asked if I could help her change the tyre, she said to me "Oh, thank you Sir, what a very kind offer, you must be a very true and decent Christian Gentleman.
I simply responded with the truth, "No, Ma'am, I'm an Atheist and was brought up to be a Gentleman who respects others and helps those in need."
She became quite verbally abusive towards me then slapped my face, spat at me before telling me she would rather struggle to change the tyre herself than accept help from a Godless Heathen.
That 'episode' has not changed my attitude towards being 'chivalrous' in any way BUT it has shown me that in some aspects Religion, Xtianity in particular, may have eroded decency in society to some extent.


Nah, I think a lot of people — men and women alike — still like chivalrous gestures. Despite the fact that some people think all gender distinctions are societal, I think there's a lot of biochemistry at work still that makes some men feel like providers and some women feel like they want a protector. And if that's what works for people, that's their business (so long as nobody is forced into a role that makes them feel uncomfortable). I like holding the door open for people, but to be generally courteous. When I'm with a woman, especially if I'm romantically inclined toward her, there is an innate feeling of protection that seems instinctive and intrinsically tied to my amorous feelings. But I'm not going to force any chivalrous behavior upon her if it makes her feel awkward or uncomfortable.

resserts Level 8 Mar 26, 2018

For me it is I'm polite at times but wouldn't call it chivalry.


We had a recent post on this. No it isn't. This girl appreciates it. It is not sexist to me.


thats funny, someone else just asked this in the past few days

btroje Level 9 Mar 26, 2018

I am going to guess that you intend to be the modern interpretation of chivalry. By that I would say it is far from dead and that is good. Kindness should never die.

Donna_I Level 7 Mar 26, 2018

In some ways YES!

As women have killed it off. Cannot open doors for women these days without hearing about in papers that the woman has screamed at the man and deemed as sexist etc.


I hope not! If it is, it would be necro something or other. I hold doors, say hello, offer to help, etc just because I enjoy seeing someone smile and appreciate a kind gesture.

Holysocks Level 7 Mar 26, 2018

Not from me it isnt


Chivalry and romance generally are on life support.

I have mixed feelings about it. Such things are rooted in the courtly love ethos of the 11th century and that's not really apropos here in the 21st. On the other hand it's fun role-playing -- a framework to relate from. I like being gallant and thoughtful. I think most women want that, or at least used to. Then again ... women are (rightly) tired of being infantalized, which chivalry can easily do.

mordant Level 8 Mar 26, 2018

I think chivalry is getting rarer, not because people are getting ruder, but the people reacting to it think of it as a violation of equality or something.

Adam7 Level 4 Mar 26, 2018

It can be veiwed as/feel like condescension.


I kind of hope so

Rudy1962 Level 9 Mar 26, 2018

Getting more rare, but definitely not dead !

evergreen Level 8 Mar 26, 2018

I'd rather "chivalry" be replaced by common courtesy and mutual respect.
There are many aspects of chivalry which are not exactly favorable. It's also
incredibly misogynistic. It's not just manners and deference.

KKGator Level 9 Mar 26, 2018

How about mutual respect, I respect but not expect you to say "open the door" for me. Is that contemporary thinking?


In the age of chivalry women were not educated, treated as chattel and had their marriages arranged. Getting a womans attention usually involved some barbaric act followed by macho strutting. Any kindness shown them was directly aimed at arranging pleasure for the male. Oh, and chivalric poetry was always in the same and simple meter written by mindless aristicrats or their scribes. My English Lit 101 prof. made all of us read that drivel for 3 months, she loved it.


Well, it's a case of Yes and No in my opinion.
As a person brought up by my father to treat women/girls with due the respect, decency and equality they deserve to be afforded I continue to do exactly that.
BUT, I have received innumerable insults and even threats from the so-called 'modern' feminists for acts such as opening doors for them, giving up my seat for them on buses, etc.
I have also received countless smiles of appreciation, words of thanks and comments such as "It is so nice to know and see that there are STILL true Gentlemen in this crazy world today."
Personally, I feel that IF Feminists TRULY want absolute EQUALITY then they should resist their need for SEPERATE Facilities ( Toilets, etc, ), expect to be employed to do the harsh, labourious tasks that men do WITHOUT exemptions, etc, and ALL other trappings of femininity completely and utterly.
Were women/girls so badly off when they were shown courtesties by men?
Was it TRULY insulting for them when men were expected to stand up when a woman entered any room?
Was it really an INSULT for a man to defend/protect the honour and decency of a woman or to have a man stand aside and open a door for a woman?
Chivalric behaviour such as simply opening a door for a woman is NOT an insult/slur, IT IS an act of showing reverence and decency towards the female gender without whom NONE of us would have ever been here to begin with.

Triphid Level 8 Mar 26, 2018

Not completely, but both men and women are killing it as society "progresses".

I think that you may be wrong in that those of us males who continue to be chivalric towards women/girls are actually trying our darnedest to preserve society as it should be BUT, those who are trying to FORCE-FEED their own PERSONAL Agendas upon everyone else are, i.e. the rampant and often rabid feminists for example, are destroying society as a whole.

@Triphid The extreme feminists are definitely out of their minds. I'm not talking about regular feminists. I'm talking about the ones who think men should all be slaves etc. There are also men who are destroying chivalry though. There are men who play the game and are chivalrous just to get some ass, so when a guy who is just trying to be nice does it, sometimes he gets lectured about how he's being "sexist" or trying to keep the woman down. That is a sure fire way to eventually kill the most altruistic chivalry or any kindness towards women from men. I think that extreme is also toxic. I think it's a cycle and there is plenty of blame to go around with the extremes.

@Triphid And I also want to mention the contradictory nature of some women that want men to be "men", but then grill them in the same breath for being "men". Then the men that aren't being "men" get criticized for not being "men" and left in the dating pool to drown.


Chivalry should be dead. Kindness, empathy, sharing should be encouraged.

kmdskit3 Level 8 Mar 26, 2018

Mostly, yes.
Even to the point people don't understand what it is.

Rugglesby Level 8 Mar 26, 2018
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