I personally don't see anything wrong with a man pursuing/attempting to woo a woman if he so desires, or anything in between for that matter. I don't believe that romance is dead, just that the expectation for men to be the sole wooer/purser is dying, which isn't a bad thing.

Edit: some are taking this as me saying men should be the only ones to pursue. I didn't say that.
The men I am encountering are not doing anything. There is no woo. They expect to talk to me once every few days but me go out when they request. Also, if I let them know I don't sleep around, they bounce. I do my part of trying to pursue and date. Seems like majority of men don't want the trouble, just the sex part.

Im old fashioned. I still believe in the idea of "courting" but with modern twists. I open car doors, walk on the traffic side of a sidewalk, and look at a girl in the eyes when she talks to me. No using a cell phone on a date; it stays on silent. I don't see much of this going on at all anymore.

I can only speak for myself when I say that I don't think it's dead. Almost every day I go out and take pictures of flowers and send them to my girlfriend who lives in a different town ("I pic'd these for you" ) because I know winter is hard on her and they make her smile.

Maybe you'll disagree, but I think that classifies as romantic or wooing.

The thing is, it doesn't have to be a thing of the past, nor does it have to be something one-sided. Anyone can do it. They just have to be willing to actually DO it. Wooing and being romantic can be pretty corny, and that risk -- the risk of being made fun of for being so corny -- can be pretty intimidating to a lot of people in this day and age. Sometimes it helps to talk about what you need and/or want from your relationship. You might be pleased with how it turns out.

As a man who does not pursue well... I wish it were I am lucky to be with a woman who pursued me a little first, but that is the exception, not the norm.

Mine absolutely is a hopeful vote. Women are humanty's natural leaders. There is no reason one sex should automatically carry the responsibility for initiating contact or showing interest. For my entire lifetime, showing more than initial interest without any reciprocals from a woman I've shown interest leads to disinterest after a second try. I never ask for a number or contact information, but offer it with the attitude that 'if she is also interested', I've indicated mine already so she'll let me know.

I'm not even interested, no matter how she looks, in a woman who is too damaged to also meet half-way if she feels the same and wants a closer look.. If they haven't overcome Patriarchal conditioning to that extent, how can they expect on my part to treat them with parity instead of assuming they are lessers in need of leading?

What is called 'romance' is sets of reciprocals founded on Patrist notions of female passivity, as though woman is less; not entitled to show interest on an equal level with 'the man'...

We males are not superior and you females well know it. The whole notion is a source of high humor among many women. I adore women for what they are in Nature, not what they are supposed to be to fit imposed gender roles of passivity and feigned dependence and marginal helplessness.

So I sincerely HOPE that what was called romance has been and will continue to be replaced by assertiveness and honesty both directions.

Let's just let anyone "pursue" anyone else and not get all twitterpated over gender...?

Some men still pursue women, more women are now pursuing men.
Ever since the advent of birth control and the "sexual revolution", the rules of engagement
have changed. People are still adapting. It takes some longer than others, and some just don't
become comfortable with it at all.
Everyone needs to figure out what's going to work for them, and proceed accordingly.
I think some folks still get too hung up on the old ways of doing things.
It's a new world, kids. Adapt or die.

I hope romance is not dead. It shoudn't take much to see if an attraction is mutual.

No, it's in our jeans...

Today’s society feels like with everyone trying to be so independent, a man trying to pursue a woman can be seen as stalking. It kind of creates a paradox with dating because on the one hand you need to keep your distance, but on the other hand you need to be constantly available and make 0 mistakes otherwise you’re done for.

I am a Romantic until I die... but I no longer explain myself or feel need to justify myself... I just am.

What other way is there then wooing and pursuing? I don't understand what the content of the other way is. I've had women tell me off and on that men really do not know how to treat them. I want to be the exception to the other way. What's wrong with taking flowers to her on the first date? Or second? Or third? Or every damn date you have? What's wrong with telling her she has beautiful hair or a pretty smile? Or eyes that twinkle like one of the stars shining down through the sweet summer sky. Showing up when she least expects it to hold her hand and whisper into her ear with a kiss on the cheek.I guess part of pursuing is letting her know you're interested and going to do everything in your power to make her feel the same about you. Of course if there's no feelings you better watch out because there are laws against stalking and you don't want all you're doing to turn into the opposite effect. I think romance, wooing, and pursuing your love interest is very much alive but just don't keep your feelings under control, allow them to floursh.

I voted no way, but I'd say it's a two-way street these days. Ladies pursuing men is no longer frowned upon as it once was (or at least I SERIOUSLY doubt it is in this community).

I have such horrible social anxiety, I think I’ve been worried about getting accused of being a stalker since I learned what a stalker was.

I think men and women share the mating rituals. There is a common example in which a man leans toward a woman, because he wants a kiss. However, he stops inches away and waits. She can kiss him or not. The key to perusing without terrorizing a woman is to slow down or wait at appropriate times. If she leaves, suck it up guys. If she doesn't you may pursue again, but don't get overeager. Pause sometimes, if she likes you, it may build her attraction. If you do it right, it will have no bad effect. She will not miss what you want, and will participate if she wants to.

Wooing with flowers and words is also essential.

I personally have always just let things happen however they happen like it should be. if you want someone you use body language or actual language and just see what the response is and take it from there.

I think I was wooed by a professional wooer! But as he got to closer to actually following through with making things legal (and HE was the one who brought it up in the first place)...the less wooey he got. He KNEW I adored him. But when he started acting like I was 'in the bag', I had to say "Bye, bye"! (He had already done the same thing to at least one before me). I had spent 5 years believing his woos. Life is short....especially at my age.

I voted for nudes. But I really don’t know I pursued and romanced the hell out of my girlfriend. That’s the only way I know how to do it. I really don’t understand the whole send me nudes thing. I mean I like naked pics of woman. But how do you ask for pics like that before you really get to know them. I think that’s for when you are in a relationship. Jesus I sound old. Lol

I don't think romance is dead I just think not many understand that it is sometimes a needed thing.
Many sites are literally used as a fuck fest if you'll pardon that description.
You'll see some members complain right off the bat because of they haven't reached a level they can message someone. Those are the ones that want to bypass the get to know you part.

I think romance can be encouraged however, I've been schooled a few times that I was moving too fast and going the wrong way about getting into the pants. I considered that a second chance.

I would rather meet a woman the old fashioned way, in a bookstore, at a party etc. I met my last girlfriend at a party, we talked the entire night, we dated for five+ years. I pursued and we fell in love, it ended about two years ago.

I still get occasional messaging here. Long distance is hard to maintain. Willing to still give it a shot for the right guy.

As a gay man this is a difficult question to ask, since we don’t have the same kinds of “rules” when it comes to dating. But on the other hand, I like it that way. That the onus has to be on one person I think hampers the possibilities. I’ve had guy friends who were the target of a girl’s attention, but didn’t even know it, and if she hadn’t shown herself interested, they might have missed it altogether.

More commentary as I just can't be so minimally verbose and walk on:

I DO pursue, though I won't shout "woo" unless it's for humor (/e chasses BibleBeltHell down the hall again).

I recently hinted at a night out with a gal I am interested in. She did consider it. Pointed out that she has a boyfriend (conversations about him have been... mixed... implying he was a friend who happened to be male, or some such) and he would freak out if she were to go out with another man. Fair enough. I am NOT pursuing her as I see this as a clear message of "I am flattered (well, ok, I HOPE she is flattered), but no, at least not at this time." Still treating her respectfully. I volunteer where she works and don't want her to be nervous about my being there thinking that things will change, or that I will change the dynamic.

There is another gal who is the receptionist for my Acupuncturer. She is SO nice to me, smiling all the time, and looking my way and... well, it's easy for me to see this as an invite. I do not, however, know enough about her to know (the Doctor kind of hinted when last I visited "you know he's a double E" she said to the receptionist), so, I am NOT making that fateful step because I want to respect her professional space, etc and... I don't know how young she is. Is she TOO young (or am I TOO old for her)? In this instance, I'd gladly take her to dinner, movie, whatever, as a companion to explore more, to get to know her better to be able to better determine if we are a fit.... BUT, to respect her professional space, I think it appropriate for her to make the first move. Otherwise I am being the horndog male and making her professional space just one more space in which she is pursued into oblivion. Unfortunately, by respecting her space, I am NOT pursuing.

So, situation dictates. If I'd met her in a more casual place, and gotten the same sort of attention, I might well have asked. For example, I am more comfortable with waitstaff as waitstaff sort of come with the ice pre-broken. Note: I am especially careful about broaching that sort of subject as I am too aware that while a waitress is used (unfortunately) to some callous male attention, I kind of like being the safe male they can banter with. There has been ONE waitress who I just had to ask. She also said 'no' and we are still good friends. So, I think I stepped lightly and properly.

It's not easy. If we pursue and woo too much, we are stalkers. If we don't, we are lonely (just as you are). So, I would encourage the better half (you gals) to be a wee bit more foreward and be more obvious about interest. [insert ribald joke here about not having to go too far with this] Just make it plain that you'd like to explore the possibilities of a deeper relationship... you could make a joke about it: "ask me out already, damnit! (with attendent smiles, laughs, snickers, giggles... you get the idea)" and I, for one, would respond with candid humor: "Sure, but..." [insert paramters here, including date and time, or opening discussion about where and when] (ranging from "let's go for it" to "can we take it slow?" ). With, of course, relieved laughter. I love a good laugh.

It's probably due to the fact that it's a numbers game and on the internet the numbers are far greater than your home town . Where as in real life you have less people and more time on the net you have more people and way less time to get to know them . ... Not a scientific study just an observation. Plus men are greedy and all these beautiful women in the world it's like being a kid in a candy store for some