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Do you tend to spend too much time in your head?

Regarding thoughts such as worry, and stress, William James, an American philosopher, and psychologist, said:

"The greatest weapon against stress is our ability to choose one thought over another."

When we view our mind as a tool that should work for us, not against us, we can decide what to think which can contribute to well being.

Learning this skill (which took a lot of practice) has helped me cope with very trying circumstances, disappointments and hardships. That's not to say I don't get stuck in my head from time to time, but I do it far less than I used to. They're useless thoughts -- energy vampires.

What about you --- do you think you ruminate too much? If you used to but don't anymore, how did you change your pattern of thinking?

  • 45 votes
  • 12 votes
  • 7 votes
VictoriaNotes 9 Mar 28
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36 comments

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1

This site doesn't help much and night times and early mornings are the worst. I have found by mediatating and concentrating on my breath helps me get to sleep. Making a conscious effort to avoid runinations at 2 am also help. Warming weather will send me outside with projects.

Actually, when I had a partner things were much better. I had someone else to discuss my/our issues with. Teasing and bantering one another helped to reduce any anxiety.

@VictoriaNotes I like to know that too. Although I can imagine that some items on this site can trigger thinking about a lot of things. Even positive ruminations can keep you awake and is just as annoying. At least to me 🙂.

@Gert Yes, I agree. Sometimes things I read about on here can trigger negative ruminations, but of course that isn't the fault of the site. There are many really smart people on here, who have done a lot with their lives, and at times it's hard not to compare myself with them. I still love this website though.

@MST3K Don't compare yourself with others, only if you want to learn something from them that you don't know yet. Something that you can obtain. If you can't, don't. In that case it's a waste of energy. You are just as unique as I am or as someone with an extremely high IQ. We all have to deal with the same amount of shit during our lives and also the same amount of luck and happiness. When you start to compare you always see the things that you don't have and forget what you really have. Just accept who you are and learn to live with what you have and what you don't or can't have.

@VictoriaNotes There are lots of negative things that come from the site (and I add plenty myself). I also think of things I should have said but did not. Once the cycle starts it is hard to stop. But I am determined to get a handle on it and have, so far, succeeded.

@Gert I do need to avoid making those sorts of comparisons, or if I do, not to judge myself by them. It is probably good to compare if you are looking for an example of something you might want to achieve, or learn. One doesn't have to be extremely intelligent, or highly accomplished, or very talented, to feel good about himself. It isn't important to measure up to others. All a person needs to do is to try to be a decent person, and to be the best he or she can, within their own capabilities or limitations.

@VictoriaNotes Deep discussions always have some areas of disagreement (negativity). From some it can be actual hostility. It is something we all have to deal with. Some areas of discussion between myself and others take a while to come to terms, either seeing things from another's point of view or simply agreeing to disagree. As a claimed introvert I am sure you also think of things that would have been better said had you thought of them at the time. Please don't be sorry, I am not. Negative things can help a person to grow. But moderation is often needed.

2

I'm one of those people who can't rest my mind. It doesn't show on the outside, I'm not twitchy or hyperactive but my mind floats from lobe to lobe thinking. I'll be talking about one thing and then I lobe out to something completely unrelated.

Try using your favorite music as it works for me.

I could have written your post exactly. People say "You are always so calm" they have no idea the storm that can exist in this head.

0

I used to. Decades of meditation and visualization has helped. Sometimes pretty elaborate visualization, but definitely has helped me gain control of my mind more. All be it, more so when I'm alone, but to a lesser degree, when I'm around other people.

@VictoriaNotes @VictoriaNotes I haven't done brainwave training, but thought about it

0

I voted other.
Really it's a yes but my shrink gives me something to help with it. 😉

2

Not only yes, but I think that picture there is an actual picture of my brain. ?. I don’t necessarily hold onto the event of my past to maintain a handicapped status, but the fact is that since having had a stroke 7 years back, getting caught in mental loops has been struggle for me. And for all the part time therapists who,will say "well don’t think about it", it’s kind of like being told not to think about purple monkeys, suddenly all you can think of is purple monkeys. I’m much better now, but the monkeys are invisible at times and they hide my things. ?. Kidding, don’t send the social workers(the monkeys don’t like em).

2

Incredibly easy to overthink things. Completely agree - staying in one gear too long wears out the transmission. Manual shifting is necessary for me too.

jeffy Level 7 Mar 28, 2018
0

Thinking is my coping mechanism, if I can't solve an issue in my head or disturbed to the point I can't think right I create scenarios in my head in a happy place fashion to distract me.

I also often enjoy thinking, as long as I'm not ruminating. Thinking creatively or philosophically can be very rewarding.

0

Correct me if I’m misunderstanding but it sounds like you’re suggesting that the only way to be “in your head” is to be stressing and worrying unproductively. Seems to me there are healthy, constructive ways to spend time in your head too. No?

skado Level 9 Mar 28, 2018
0

I spend too much time on social wevsites....

0

I daydream instead, beats the hell out of both rumination and my current reality (working on the reality but these things take time.)

Kimba Level 7 Mar 29, 2018
0

I don't do that to myself anymore.
I made a conscious decision to stop, and I did.
If I catch myself starting to do it, I redirect.

3

I've been known to do so, but these days I think I have it mostly under control. The quote is excellent, by the way!

4

paralysis by analysis

2

I don't know how much is too much. I mean there have been times that I am reminded of some grand faux pas and it will bug me. But having survived it, I assume I learned something from it. But I wouldn't consider myself obsessive.

3

I either over think it, or worse, arrive at an answer, but refuse to take any action that might help the situation.

I try to be aware of my thoughts, to not let them control me. Not always successful.

3

Yoga and the focus on now.

SamL Level 7 Mar 28, 2018
2

Used to-without stress from being sick all the time and being retired I am so relaxed and mellow. Almost a new me.

0

No My head is my second best friend. My wife is #1 I never get bored with my thoughts or the music,reading, art or other hobbies I am enjoying at the same time. I do not allow stress or other things to bother me as at 78 I am just happy to be alive as many of my friends have passed.The thing I learned as I retired is that nothing should allow you stress as everything has some solution. All one needs to do is be calm and work your options. I wish I had done so earlier as it would have greatly aided my outlook on things.

0

No, my life and job, as well as a mission is to think and thing clearly and creatively

0

No, my life and job, as well as a mission is to think and thing clearly and creatively

1

I like what Einstein said: "I think when I have nothing better to do." I wonder does rumination have something in common with Parkinson's Law which states that work expands to fill the time available for it's completion, that is, does rumination expand to fill the mental space available for it's contemplation?

0

Yes, I do, but I am working on it. I took this week off to try to relax, because I am dangerously close to burning out. I have the tendency to want to fix everyone and everything, especially through my work.

0

Yes, I always have. When I was young, it was the only refuge I had, and I also spent a lot of time trying to hold onto sanity; this necessitated a lot of head time, too.

marga Level 7 Mar 28, 2018
0

keep doing stuff is all I know

4

I have a tendency to live very much inside my head — a consequence of being extremely introspective, I suspect — but I've found that there's a really easy way around that: if I do something to help others, whether informally lending a hand or actively volunteering, it forces me outside of my own thoughts and places the focus on the external, helping to quiet stress, anxiety, self-defeating thoughts, discouragement, etc.

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