You useless, pustulent goat scrotum.
If you were any dumber you'd be brocolli.
Dicksplash.
Mere obscenity doesn't cut it any more.

I don't usually try to insult people, but do swear. One insult that I thought was funny though. When I was working one night, a patient came in through the ER, and was obviously quite drunk, and had not bathed in a very long time, and a resident said she smelled worse than the shit house on a shrimp boat.

Apparently you are the only one who gives a shit.

Well being Australian there is an old 'go to' that I use when I feel I'm being ripped off when making a purchase: 'At least Ned Kelly wore mask'.

I'm not sure if this counts. I currently serve in the military, I've done so for about 8 years now. Because of this I have met many varieties of people, but most being annoying and/or stupid. I was deployed in the desert and had this one guy who I didn't know all that well. We were in a small group... supposed to be talking about work and how to finish the job. Instead he was talking about something useless that had nothing to do with work. Everyone else was too polite to tell him to shut it. After about 10 mins I finally gave up and said " Please for the love of all things unholy can you tell us about more useless nonsense!" I was staring him right in the eyes with a stern look. I was completely done with his shit.

Are you naturally this stupid, or did you go to a special school?

If you were any slower you'd be in reverse.

I will ignore you.

"Is it hard for you to breathe with your head so far up your tailpipe?"

I like the phonetics and hard consonants of; Cunt lickin' bitch!

Thank you very much. I'm sure that is the kindest thought you have had about anyone for quite sometime.

I like it lol. I think you let the insult fit the situation.

"If there were such a thing as a tartuffel, you'd be one!"--WC Fields

Cockwomble