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Sexual Compatibility

How important is sexual compatibility? I have had two relationships that I have not had this. I never realized how many men have performance issues (anxiety, decreased libido, difficulty maintaining an erection, etc). I have had deep companionship’s with both of these people. Very difficult conversations and very emotional on both sides. I try to understand but ultimately I feel like I need the sexual compatibility. Thoughts?

Happyone 5 Mar 29
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64 comments (51 - 64)

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1

I think it's very important! I believe it is inextricably linked to our ability to think freely, our free will (in comparison to others), our levels of needs, wants and desires. It should not be unimportant! Patience and love of self lays the groundwork for honing in on the person with the compatibility that fits your being.

Uncas Level 4 Apr 1, 2018
1

Sexual compatibility and Performance issues are different topics. Just sayin'-
<3

When you can't perform... you are no longer compatible. Be that basketball, poker or sex.

@GipsyOfNewSpain you are in for a long fall once you pass the age. I used to be pretty now I am not. I feel almost humiliated showing my body where as I was once free

@squiggy_70 it is hard to be compatible when you can no longer perform but there is such a thing as a freak of nature. I had aged, my body is no longer toned but I am looking now for experienced women, real beauty is ageless, real beauty evolves as I had evolved. And I am not your tipical aged, I am still that same freak of nature aged but capable just like at 20 I didnt have interest fo a 60 year old woman at 60 I show no interest for a 20 year old woman. I am grateful for reaching this golden age of my life, I will share it with an equal.

@GipsyOfNewSpain that is nice. a young man said he loved his wife's stretch marks because they were love

@GipsyOfNewSpain so when you are too old to do it and viagra doesn't work then what?

@squiggy_70 You live off the memories. No different than a retired athlete or politician. I had created wonderful moments and I am the type of person that when the time for viagra comes. I may pass on the green pill and accept it as a Rite of Passage. I am satisfied with my adventures in love and sex. The ignorance of youth is real... very real. I remember in my early 20's having serious discussions about what to do for sex in our 40's, conclussion then: prostitutes (oh the ignorance). In my 40's I had more tail than any other decade in my life and not a single prostitute. I simply put myself in that position living in Spain, Greece and Germany, granted I didn't looked my aged but never hided it either. I may even receive the lack of life in my member as one less thing to worry about. I am very satisfied. Que Sera, Sera!

3

It's not for everyone (for some reason beyond my comprehension), but ethical non-monogamy in open relationships solves that particular problem.

@Stepmomofdragons Rants are fine with me. I think it's great that there's something for everyone. 🙂 And yes, all relationships require work (and honesty), and I personally require a level of commitment, even with multiple partners. I practiced monogamy for ~ 35 years, but am far happier now.

Thank you for your comment.

0

In my experience a lack of sexual compatibility leads to dissatisfaction, which leads to a lack of tolerance for little things, and errodes the relationship.
I have been with women who's appetite was significantly less than mine, and I did not remain satisfied. I have been with women who were repressed and rigid in only enjoying vaginal intercourse with lights out. I was soon dissatisfied.
Sexuality is a huge part of our lives, and our romantic relationships. I would no more want to be with a sexually incompatible person than I would someone who was incompatible in intelligence, who was too inarticulate to enjoy deep conversation, or whose conduct was unethical or mean spirited.

0

Open communication without judgment is key to sexual compatibility.

1

What would be Sex without Compatibility? Exercise on Futility. For Sex and Making Love... I want My Equal. That's it... Plain and Simple. I prefer no exception. I rather Rock and be Rocked by My Equal!

1

You have to be careful that the hot sexual compatibility doesn't blind you to a growing toxicity in the relationship outside of the bedroom. I've been there.

1

Some people just aren't compatible with each other. It's better to find that out early on than later.

0

it is not important to me any more. I would like to have some one I trust next to me at night. Some people need it to be so important nobody is good enough for them.

0

It is important but elusive. I did have a 10 year relationship where we were very compatible but drinking got in the way. I have never found anyone that is fulfilling on every level the sexual part comes after some emotional relationship. It is difficult to move on when something does not work but necessary to maintain some mental peace.

1

I believe all men suffer from performance issues at times. It could be they are nervous or had too much to drink. If it is continuous then it's time you asked them to try Viagra.
Sexual compatibility is very important in a relationship. I think it starts with tender touches and soft gentle kisses. Normally the kissing will arouse your partner. For me it would be very hard to have a loving relationship if I was not emotionally and sexually compatible with the woman.

ebdb Level 7 May 8, 2018
0

Very important ... I was married for a long time and though there was a degree of sexual comparability frost the first half of 25 years it completely vanished. Even the evocation of the topic and what solutions could be found was off the table.
At some stage I asked my wife why she would, despite her disinterest, hold the monopoly over my sexuality. I quoted, in this context, our state government that had canceled a French company's mining lease on the grounds the leaseholder showed no intention of exploring the allocated area. Over several years no explorative drills had been carried out.
Somehow I failed to emphasize the connection to our sexlife and we ended up having an interesting discussion on mining and its impact on the environment.

0

I have been in a relationship where every other thing was perfect. We were compatible in choices of activities, serial TV, movies, books, art, philosophy, even sleepling habits. She was beautiful, and found me visually appealing. There was passion for each others hearts and minds, and we dif love each other romantically.
However, we were not compatible sexually. Actually, it would be more accurate to say we were compatible pheremonely. We would be totally turned on, until we began to kiss. It was vaguely like kissing my sister. Her breath was sweet, her touch soft and urgently sensual, she moved and kissed and touched me just as I enjoy it most. And nothing. She exerienced the same thing.
We tried several times over a couple frustrating months of dating. We were so good on every level, neither of us wanted to give up. But we knew that we both need romantic sensual sexual intimacy and that denied that we would soon begin to resent the other.
It does matter. A lot.

0

It's a very important part of a relationship. I miss having a sexual connection and anticipation of sharing and pleasing each other. I've never had a partner who had issues with sexual performance but have often wondered what would happen if they did. I would like to think I would help them through it. If it wasn't curable I would like to think that I would stay with them. I would leave if they had cancer. However, I the physical connection so having a good and mutually pleasurable sex life is important. Hummmm I hope I'm never faced with this issue. Currently... I have no sexual partner so maybe it would be better to have some sex with a partner with issues... LOL Kidding.

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