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If you found out that your significant other cheated on you, would you still stay in the relationship?

A guy I dated awhile back wasn't honest about his relationship status. The story in itself is too long to type out and explain. I sensed something was up, did some investigation, and found out he had a girlfriend. I also found out who she was via Facebook. I wanted to do the right moral thing, so I mustered up the courage to message her on FB. She surprisingly was nice to me and just wanted some of the screen shots of conversations so she knew I was being honest. I sent her about 40 screen shots that I thought would be necessary.

Long story short, I found out from her that the entire time he was seeing me, she was in a wheelchair because of a broken foot and also because of her untreated MS disease as well. He was bored for months, mad she didn't wanna go out IN HER WHEELCHAIR, and lied to her every time he left the house to spend the night at my house, telling her that he's visiting his mother.

She decided to stay with him. She blamed his cheating on his Bipolar Disorder (even though he was on meds), said she really loved him, and told me not to talk to him anymore.

Unconditional love? Still loving them is understandable, but staying is totally different. The trust is completely gone. Second chances? AGAIN, THE TRUST IS COMPLETELY GONE. Along with the fact that it's disrespectful, selfish, and how is that love?

I would never stay in a relationship with a sig. other if I found out they cheated on me no matter how much I love them.

VeronicaAnn 7 Apr 16
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16 comments

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0

I find out you "went looking" on your wife, you may be a widower now, but I would Never trust you as far as I could throw you (and I doubt I could even pick you up). Stricly FWB, and that is only if you are unbelievably hot.
Been there, done that, (or I guess had it done to me), know better.

1

I only had to make that decision one and I left. I can't predict how I would act if the circumstances had been any different than they were. I hope I would still leave regardless. On the other hand I can't imagine ever leaving my husband of 38 years for any reason. I also can't imagine him ever cheating.

1

No, I could never trust him again.

2

unconditional love and faith are concepts you have IF you have a relationship. ( someone has an accident and goes into a coma and you have love and faith, a parent whose teen has gone astray but has love and faith they will get back on track as their child is their own creation built with all years they raised them.). Love and faith is the basis of a relationship, so if one person is looking elsewhere for it, it does not seem that it exisits. Walk away from this b.s. you deserve to be loved and adored equally.

0

No stupidity

bobwjr Level 10 Apr 16, 2020
3

What a gem of a man. [Yeah, that was sarcasm.] The girlfriend "stayed' with the man because she is trapped by a crippling physical illness/disability, and desperate. It sounds like she is trying to make the best of a horrific situation within the limitations inflicted on her, and is of the opinion that even a dirt bag is better than no man at all. My heart goes out to her. Good on you for doing the decent thing by cutting bait on him once you discovered what he is. You did yourself a favor, too, since any man who will cheat with you will also cheat on you. He has probably moved on to the next woman. When I caught my husband of 17 years having an affair, I demanded that he move out. It took him a month and a half to do so. That was torture. One can't turn off the love one feels like one can a light switch, but the realization that the relationship is doomed without trust is immediate. It was a very painful experience and the residual grief and bitterness, due to lack of closure, is still with me two and a half years later.

Deb57 Level 8 Apr 16, 2020
2

My family and marriage of 35 years is too important for "cheating" a few times to destroy our relationship. I hope she would tell me about it, avoid sneaking around and the cheating. I've not been through such a thing, and think she has been faithful. It would be difficult to manage my emotions, but in the long run, I know, I'd be OK.

The worst thing would be a divorce, and I've been through two, already. I came out OK then, Id be OK again. Although, I'd do almost anything to keep my family. Panicking is the wrong thing to do.

3

It's the end of trust and of the relationship for me.

Zster Level 8 Apr 16, 2020
0

No.. ..and I wouldn’t expected her to, either ~

Varn Level 8 Apr 16, 2020
4

Absolutely not... That would destroy any trust completely.. If he could cheat on the relationship, he could cheat on other things too...

2

I've seen it in couples where the male cheats and at other times where the female cheats. Generally speaking, males cheat because they can and females cheat because there is something missing in the primary relationship, but that is by no means a rule and I knew one woman who generally had 4 or 5 on the go, other than her husband, who lived in blissful ignorance most of the time. I've seen couples who regard it as an opportunity to grow and others who just pull the pin. The only constant I've seen in those that continue successfully is the degree of respect remaining between the couple.

@VeronikaAnnJ I think that prejudice has a lot of things packed into it, superiorty complex, ownership and male privilege to name just a few.

@Bierbasstard ok, pack that one in there too.

@Bierbasstard the difference I think there though is in the inherent dishonesty of an affair. It's cheating. The other instances, multiple wives etc. as unfair as they may be, don't necessarily involve secrecy and betrayal.

@Bierbasstard it's interesting isn't it how that superiority of the male, their right to control the female and female submission is embedded within the najor religions. Almost as if they were designed that way.

@Bierbasstard 😂😂😂 it certainly wasn't women. 🤣

2

There was a time when I would have said that cheating was a deal-breaker. My thoughts have changed since then.

These days, I would have far more interest in the reasons why it happened, and I would be much more open to considering whether I played a role in that. I would wonder whether it was primarily an emotional thing or a physical thing, I would wonder whether it was an ongoing thing, and I would be much less motivated by jealousy.

You are at a level above me ~

2

I’m in total agreement. I would always be suspicious that he was cheating and never be fully at peace in the relationship. Without trust, what is there? She must have very low self-esteem and not think she can do better.

0

Yes.

@VeronikaAnnJ Incorrect premise.

@VeronikaAnnJ Correct.

0

I have not stayed with anyone that has cheated. Luckily when I found out I did not love either, so of course it was way easier to do. I am glad you telling her worked out so well for you. I will never tell another woman she's being cheated on again.... biches be crazy. >:/

2

I would never stay in a relationship with a sig. other if I found out they cheated on me no matter how much I love them. Enough said.

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