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Male odors. The difficulty of describing "essence of man.”

By refusing to read romance novels, I missed overwrought olfactory descriptions. An archivist cataloged descriptions of men's smells in romance novels. Wonderfully ridiculous. Thank you, @RomanceSmells.

My favorites:

“I inhaled the scent of his jacket. It was somehow soothing and stimulating at the same time. Like the color green. Like him.” Green by Kayley Loring

"Pippa Grant is someone who writes hilarious descriptions of smells. Some of them are really long. Here’s one from The Hero and the Hacktivist—oh, you need to know that she refers to the hero as “the ass” because he has a great ass. OK, so this is the heroine’s inner monologue:

The Ass—which isn’t a bad nickname, I swear, I like asses—smells like he had street hot dogs for lunch, except somehow the smell on him makes me think of hot dogs that are made of ground bear meat if it was a bear he wrestled to death after it tried to eat his ice cream while he was camping, and he’s secretly a chef who put the right seasonings in the bear dog to make it taste like some kind of exotic delicacy that causes orgasms when it hits your tongue. I can’t exactly explain it. Let’s just go with he smells good. That’s easier.

"Earlier in the book he had been described as smelling like “starched tequila and danger.”

[slate.com]

Meanwhile, In the Real World

Through online dating, I sniffed over 100 men. What makes the difference between recoiling and "Let's get closer"?

Oral Hygiene and Pheromones.

"May I ask you a personal question?" I asked a shy guy after handing him a breath mint. It didn't help. His foul breath stank of rotten meat. I leaned as far away from him as possible.

"How often do you floss your teeth?" Never. I sent him home with Glide dental floss from my purse after showing him how to use it.

"When we meet, we ought to circle each other sniffing like dogs," I joked to men on the phone. They didn't get the joke, so I dropped it.

I was talking about pheromones.

LiterateHiker 9 May 4
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14 comments

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1

On both sexes I like the smell of soap. It makes a woman smell freshly laundered, which is sexy, ( Just want to crumple that fresh linen.) and it makes a man smell organized and disciplined, which makes him trustworthy.

1

Well, I can't actually 'smell' my self but my mind often seems to 'yell ' loudly that I may stink of sweat and dirt when I've been working in the gardens, etc, so I wait until I've finished what I'm doing, shower, change my clothes and put on deodorant, exactly the same thing I do EVERYTIME before I go out of the house to get needed groceries, etc.
As for pheromones, mine or others, I can't say that I've ever noticed them in particular BUT as with my Evangelidiot neighbour and his personal hygiene, well he is that kind of person whom it is better either to avoid at ALL costs or stand at least 3 metres up-wind of him at all times.

1

Geeze, reading this left me with so many unanswered emotional responses; ranging from disgust to lust and everything in between! I am still trying to work through 'soothing and stimulating at the same time"???? I can take almost any 'man' odor as long as it is clean.

1

You know girls smell like all things nice and boys like puppy tails.

2

I love the aroma of women's clothes. They use skin lotion, perfume, all kinds of stuff. Even their hair smells good. At least, that's the way I remember it.

2

I cannot bring myself to kiss anybody who smokes.

@anglophone

I cannot stand being around people who smoke.

Their hair and clothes stink and emanate cancer-causing, secondhand smoke.

@LiterateHiker I quit smoking about 15 years ago, but my ex kept smoking. I think of him surrounded by a cloud of dust like Pigpen from Peanuts. I have to sweep and dust a lot less (among lots of things) now that he’s gone.

@LiterateHiker Hey what are you complaining about, smokers pay money for their igarettes, etc, but you non-smokers get it all for free. LOL.

@Triphid

Cigarettes and cigars cause cancer, heart disease, emphysema, etc. and death. With asthma, I hold my breath and run to get past smokers.

My chain-smoking father died at age 51 of cancer. In third grade, I vowed never to smoke like Dad and stuck with it.

@LiterateHiker Good for you.

1

The scent of a man is a definite deal breaker for me. It's surprising how many men don't seem to bathe or launder their clothes regularly. I also think that if a love interest is eating the same things I am, it comes through on their breath and in their sweat, so by dining together, eating the same things, there is a better probability I'll like their smell.

@Julie808

"I'm sorry, Bruce, but it just isn't happening," I replied lightly when he wanted to have sex. Didn't want to hurt his feelings.

From Louisiana, Bruce was overweight, had a terrible diet and two (!) deep fryers in his kitchen. I liked him tremendously. But...

His body odor was repulsive to me. I couldn't ignore it. Was it his diet?

1

I'm sorry good hygiene at a minimum is required. I would not be able to get past that because if you can't take care of the basics, what will you do with my heart?!

1

I carry about 3ml peppermint oil for freshening my breath in emergencies, and almost never eat meat. BTW my MD recommend peppermint oil as a decongestant, and it is very good for that.

I must use glide floss, because other types get caught between my teeth, and there is nothing romantic about a strand of floss hanging from my teeth. A few times only Glide would remove the other floss.

3

@MissKathleen, @SofaBeast, @Mitch07102, @BudFrank, @bobwjr

"When we meet, we ought to circle each other sniffing like dogs," I joked to men on the phone. They didn't get the joke, so I dropped it.

I was talking about pheromones.

Exactly, I feel sure that we are susceptible to our primordial drives.

You saying we should sniff each other’s butts? Maybe their mouths

@BudFrank

It was a joke, Bud.

@LiterateHiker I know. Funny one

Pass lol

2

All of my ex's had shown me they enjoy my natural scent. Although after a good curry their minds temporarily changed...

2

Hygiene, oral and otherwise, is important.

1

Oral hygiene is important

1

Lol

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