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Do you tell your spouse or partner who hit on you?

I found out later on after me and my wife were married that my millionaire friend was calling my wife to just talk and then ask her out on his big ass boat of his. He's dead now. She was smart and turned him down. Hmmm... just like the song goes... you got to watch your friends.

BucketlistBob 8 Apr 8
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14 comments

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1

I can't remember ever being flirted with whats it like ok or yuk?

It can be pleasant conversation with a remark that your perfume is really nice. Or your eyes are a beautiful blue or green or brown. It can be a statement of wow, you have beautiful eyes or hair or teeth or smile. Anything to compliment you without being offensive.

1

It depends on the relationship and the intentions. Are you telling your spouse to make them jealous or do you both find it entertaining to share these experiences? Do you need your spouse to report these because you don't trust them or want to steer clear of the "offender?" Like most things, I see this as relative to the individual circumstances.

Helga Level 4 Apr 8, 2018

I want to talk to the person and then tell them thier friendship is over. I don't trust these types of people. Male or female. We all make mistakes but pressuring a spouse to cheat?. Is teasing each other till one gives in a good scandal?

2

My wife has to let me know when a woman is seriously flirting with me - I just don't see it. I'm a friendly guy that enjoys interacting with both men and women, and can be naive about women's intentions. It actually pisses me off when I find out (...this happened recently) that a woman friend has a "thing" for me. Gets in the way of friendship IMHO.

On the flip side of the coin, I'll intentionally flirt with - say - a young waitress in a restaurant in front of my wife, in a comedic, exaggerated manner just to have fun. She rolls her eyes and kicks my shin under the table, all in jest. She'll say to the waitress - "Ignore him, he doesn't get out much!"

Yep. Applies to me too almost word for word!

1

In my first marriage there was unstability because of drinking excessively and getting high while my husband finished up his degree at Keene State in Keene, NH. He would blackout at parties and ignore me that one of our college student friends hit on me. Led to early counseling and me going out with friends leaving husband at home. 16 years till he fell apart.

1

Never..

Why not?

2

I would be a bit concerned if my wife never told me if someone hit on them, especially if married a long time, at some point some dude's gonna hit her up. I learned this thru experience.

2

i think it depends on the situation, if its a friend yeah, i think they should be aware of what kind of friends they have, if its some dude at mcdonalds unless it was a funny or otherwise interesting story, probably not, ive had issues where i thought you were supposed 2 be super up front about this and ended up just pissing off my bf. he thought i was trying 2 rub it in, i don't want 2 make someone feel like that

Byrd Level 7 Apr 8, 2018

I can see this being an issue with some people. Some are more jealous than others. I'm not really the jealous type and would probably just find it funny. But yeah, if it's a friend, I would like to know. It's ultimately up to her how much she wants to share with me, but I would hope someone would let me know so I can set that friend straight about boundaries.

1

I would if I had one

1

Many years after my divorce, I realized that when my ex was hitting on the wife of any couple with whom we were socializing-as he always did, both the husband and wife were also hitting on ME.

As a demisexual, I didn't respond to their flirtatious overtures, but they were there. I was simply blind to them. I recalled the women trying to engage me, smiling, tossing their hair back, looking me up and down approvingly, etc.

Their husbands would be beside them, flashing furtive, openly admiring looks at me, while my ex was doing his best to impress the women.

I was clueless about gender issues then, thinking of everyone as being binary heterosexual, despite being a partial transmale.

2

I have always been honest about that, not that there have been a lot of women that have hit on me but, I have never not told my spouse when it did, usually it just resulted in a lot of teasing on their part.

5

I might tell my partner if a friend of his hit on me, but no need to tell him about a stranger or distnt acquaintance. In any event the man gets a refusal because I abhor infidelity.

Deb57 Level 8 Apr 8, 2018
1

No, I have more respect for the person I'm dating and it looks like I'm bragging. I believe in honesty, but this is childish and not worth mentioning.

Hmmm... blowing it off because it may be childish? How so?

2

I haven’t been in that situation.

2

Yes. One of my husband's friends asked me out a couple of times after we had been married for about two years. The first time I thought maybe I had misunderstood. After the second time, he was no longer my husband's friend. I have also had some coworkers hit on me before, and I told him. Of course, he has also told me when someone has hit on him as well.

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