I am a firm believer of "You Never Really Know Your Wife Until You Divorce Her". I just made that up but I am sure had been said before. Never had a husband so I stick to what I know and experienced.

Despite all the good things I say about my ex wife, she posted a very negative picture of me to our 2 daughters and 1 son, I chose not to fight it or argue at the moment, I decided I am going to let time and my actions decide if I am that Asshole exposed to them, was it painful? Not to me because I am that weird type without a heart but my kids as come to realize little by little I wasn't the monster and now we are fine... they had been lied to about me... one day you will be able to show them and answer whatever lies told about you if that is the case, time will be in your side even if they resent the separation. And Congratulations on your grandson. Some may never forgive you but thats life. Women sometimes are very vindictive and never fair to you. But that's life. Be the best father and grandfather you can be. Your daughters will realize that maybe they didnt have the whole picture. In my case my son took it the hardest but is one of the girls that punished us for divorcing. Good Luck!

I moved from CA to CO in '09 to help my adopted mom at the end. Big mistake. That gave my ex wife the opportunity to manipulate the great relationship I had with my kids...and she did...missing the opportunity to show them what duty is, never mind how incredibly difficult it is or the sacrifices needed. Through the years I've observed quite a few times that divorced women with children are sometimes driven by a tendency to want their new family to be this tight little unit, and outsiders...like their kids' father...to be replaced by the new husband. I heard the ex told my daughter to pay attention to the man that was here for her everyday...not the guy that 'left' (like I simply took off for the bar and forgot about them)...and that's what she went with. I sent the handwritten letters. I sent the handmade gifts. There were flowers and gifts for birthdays. I called. I texted. I was no deadbeat dad: all told I sent $235k to the ex for child support...just so she could send my kids to school in thrift store clothes. I put $92k in my daughter's college fund when my mom passed. They tapped it to buy her a new car last year, and I received not one thank you...fuck you...or any other kind of acknowledgement that I existed. When I drove two days to the SF Bay Area every year since 2010 and wanted to see my daughter, I was rejected. Finally when I didn't get an invite to my daughters high school graduation last year, I had to go into self-preservation mode or descend into a pit of despair because that hurt like a son of a bitch. I fantasized about putting my F150 about 25ft into their living room, but I rationally came to the conclusion that hopefully when my daughter gets out from underneath her manipulative mothers' bombardment of me and goes away to college...that she'll come around and want to get to know me. I've written a letter to her with my opinion of what happened for her to find someday. Perhaps I'll send it once she's more independent and doesn't have her mothers' skewed filter to deal with. -The ex is completely ruining my son high functioning autistic son. She can manipulate him until the cows come home. Someone thought it was a good idea a couple years ago to introduce him to pot...and now he is totally off the rails addicted to the concept. Guess who drives him around to score his weed, no matter that it jeopardizes his residency at a group home? That's right: the ex. Pretty impossible to fight that kind of dysfunction when your kids are adults, and any turnaround will have to come from their end. -A ton of ongoing therapy is helping me accept that there is a chance I won't see my kids again. The way things are today I've had to get comfortable with that concept although I despise it...but I've probably got 20-25yrs left, and I don't want to spend them curled up and sobbing under a table over something...and people...I can't control.

I am currently "estranged" from my oldest son and oldest daughter. My son left home when he was 17 and moved across the country. He is now 44 and I have seen him and his family 3 times during the intervening years. As far as I'm aware there is no good reason for this. I once asked him if there was something I had done and he said that he was not angry with me and if he was I'd know it. So, I have a granddaughter I have met once and her younger sister whom I've never met. About once a year, if they remember, I'll get a texted happy birthday or happy mother's day. That is generally the extent of our contact. It is what it is, so I leave them be. My daughter and I have always had a somewhat contentious relationship although at times we were very close. Something happened a few years ago and both of us harbor some resentment. She also lives across country from me. Since then our contact has been limited mostly to texts from me updating her on the family medical history as genetics attack one sister or another. Generally I don't hear from her unless I text first. It only tends to bother me when I can't sleep in the middle of the night. We each have a life to live. Que Sera Sera

My youngest fell in with a group of gun nut, conspiracy theorist, Alex Jones fans and became quite the racist fuckwit.

Since his niece and nephew are half black, I chose my grandchildren

I have been estranged from my birth family for 46 years. I have had stressful times with my kids and my ex. I got care and custody of the kids, but allowed them to see their mother as often as they wished. My daughter moves back in with her mother for a while every 3 or 4 years. During that time she gets all the nasty stories about me and gets a bit snarky with me for a while but we have not had a falling out as such. The future is what is important. Try and make up for lost time, let your kids know you have always loved them. Make the future the best you can.

After not speaking to one another for 7 years, my father called me a couple of weeks ago.
During that 20 minute conversation, he didn't ask me about anything but where I was living.
He talked about himself the entire time. I have a new stepmom!! Whoohoo!
Oh, and after going on about how my younger brother, and his wife, screwed him out of $2500,
he asked me if I needed money. I said "no". It's not likely we'll talk again until June, I'm going to call him for Father's Day, unless he calls me before then. He's always been an absentee parent.
He's almost 80, feeling his mortality creeping up on him, and he wants to reconnect.
I'll be civil when he calls, but I'm too old for his bullshit.

My father is a manipulative, egomaniacal narcissist. The only things he ever gave me willingly were his disapproval and disappointment. When I visited him almost 20 years ago he tried to pin the blame for our lack of relationship on me. I was totally done at that point. We haven't spoken in years.

As far as I'm concerned, I never had a "father.". I had a progenitor who never liked me, let alone loved me. I don't consider that "estrangement", exactly. We never had a relationship.

I have 5 children and they all have different reasons for their issues with me and all at different times! It seems on going...just a matter of degrees at any given time! If it was someone else, I would leave them in the dust...but it is my child! So I take 'breaks' when I need to and stay in the game, because who knows how long that I might be here and I would want to give them my best shot, so they can find peace.

I'd love to have a relationship with my stepdaughter, and I have no idea how to accomplish that. She has every right to hate me (and, as far as I can see, she does, but her father insists she doesn't) but I miss her terribly.