No not a jerk at all just harrassed tired mum, any chance that you could explain that to your friends maybe in a note because the written word is more definite and you can craft it so its not unfriendly - I often find other people don't 'get' my situation and I really have to spell it out to them. Most people do understand after a bit more prompting - like 'remember I told you why I was unable to do that ... ' After a while people tend to get it especially if its done calmly and you hold firm.

No. Thats totally okay! If you want to have a bit of time to yourself to relax after work I'm totally for it! Especially if it's necessary for your sanity. I'm kind of the same in this regard, not to mention I would think that it's important to have boundaries in any relationship. If nothing else but for your own sanity and the safety of others (including your own of course!)

You may just have to take some time to sit down with each of them and tell them how you feel. If they can't respect your needs for a little space you can always just either...

A. Use technology to your advantage and put your phone on vibrate. Check texts later and respond accordingly.

B. Establish bondaries and notify each you are unavailable from this time to this time. Say you have yoga or something.

C. If they still refuse to listen or compromise then say- "See! There's the door! Don't let it hit your ass on the way out!" Then find new friends. Live life happily ever after.

After 9-10 pm? Needs to be important.

Not at all! I completely understand!
Between work, home, fulltime mom responsibilities...who needs the added pressure of even more...?? (Especially if you have any introvert tendencies and need 'down time' to re-charge.) You can't care for others if you don't practice self-care first and if these other 'friends' don't understand that, then they aren't true friends. A real friend will honor and respect your boundaries, as well as admire your strength for having them! You do you!?

You get calls??? I only get texts.

Is your own time.

No, you are not....and your friends are selfish.

No. You are taking time to take care of you. If they can't understand that, it's their problem, not yours.

No it's not unreasonable on your part, but you do give something that your callers need. "The only thing worse than being talked about, is not being talked about". I'd try practicing ways to thank people for calling while easing them off the phone. If you want to keep them as friends, call them back when you can and pick up the conversation then. Soon they'll get the picture without feeling shined on.

NO

How much quiet-time do we need? Way more than we get. Lots of new science about this. Use ear plugs more to shut out the world, and thereby learn about you.

I often think about how quiet/loud was John Adams' journeys during the 1780-90s. Time enough to actually think deep thoughts. I am increasinly envious.

If possible, group those who should have access, and group those who should not, and disable as needed.

As a fellow full-time single parent of a teen, and fellow human, both, it is perfectly reasonable to say "This time is my quiet time, my alone time, and my time to get some things done that need my undivided attention. My phone will not be answered. If you wish to call me after [insert a better time, here], I will talk to you, then."

Boundaries are important, and having those boundaries respected is important.

No it isn't many people need to unwind after the stress of a day's work. Leave the ringer off and call display on and learn to ignore. That is a tough and at times a thankless job that never pays enough for the work you do, you deserve to be left on your own at the end of a 12 hour shift, your real friends should recognize this fact.

No, you are not being a jerk. For 15 years I worked as a corporate travel agent. There was a headset in my ear 8 hours a day. In order to use the restroom I had to get someone to cover my calls. I talked with good people and horrible ones. When the weather changed in spring and fall I would lose and least one day of work due to laryngitis. It was the most stressful work I have ever done. When I arrived home, I never spoke to anyone or answered the telephone until I was ready. Now these jobs are called emotional labor, and taking care of the needs of three people at once must be incredibly draining mentally. You need to recharge on your own time and these nosy neighbors have no reference for that. They're bored and lonely all day and jump at the chance to talk to a real human. I would put a sign on my door, "Do Not Disturb, I am resting" or something to that effect. You don't owe them an explanation. If they call out or keep knocking they deserve to hear exactly what you are thinking when they force you to open your door. Maybe some of those things could be, "Call before you come over! Were you raised in a barn? When you see my car and I don't answer my phone or door, that is "me time!" For years I lived in 4-apartment quadroplexes and my neighbors were never so rude as to knock on my door for petty bullshit like that, and we were friends!

I hate phone calls at any time, when I was office bound, my kids would vet my calls at night.

No. Tell them hold the phone.

Even before cell phones, I always contended that when the phone rings, I do NOT have to
answer it if I don't want to. You don't have to answer the phone. Voicemail is there for a reason.
You are NOT being a jerk.

No, you aren't. I have gotten to the point where I have been shutting my phone off at night during the week. It is just too much. If they are truly friends they will try to understand.