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As a Child and Youth Crisis Counselor I have some truly hard, heart-breaking cases in my years doing it.
But none so far as heart-rending as this mornings.
Can't use names here for both Ethical and Professional reasons, so I'll simply use 'B' for my most recent client.
Phone rings at 8.30am, I answer and there is a young voice trying its best to talk whilst crying and sobbing.
As I have no private means of transport, a local Private Taxi Driver and I work together and she does NOT charge me or the person in need for transporting either me to them or vice versa.
So, after assuring the caller that I was sending a Taxi to collect them and bring them my home, I phoned the Taxi driver, gave her the location for the collection of the Caller and waited.
In less than 8 minutes the Taxi arrives and I see a young lad, who I see regularly on the Bus around town, get out and walk slowly towards my door.
"B" knocks, I answer the door and " B" asks if it's okay for the Taxi Driver to sit in as support.
I agree of course, then we sit down and through a literal torrent of tears we hear the story.
"B" has had problems for quite some time with his Gender Identity BUT his family are Staunch, Full-on Catholics.
"B" has just started Puberty and feels he should be a female, so, " B" sneaks one of his sister's outfits to school this morning, changes clothes in the toilets and emerges as a female.
All Hell, for want of better term, breaks loose, "B' is sent to the School Chaplains Office and then both of them go to the School Principal where "B's" parents are now called in to attend.
The parents arrive, berate, belittle, debase, etc, etc, "B" for approx. 1 hour then the Chaplain and the Principal take over, further tearing verbal shreds off of the poor "B."
Eventually, "B" is loudly informed by his parents that He/she is an abomination, no longer their child and can "Rot in Hell for all they care."
I pulled a few strings after we had talked for quite some length of time, got "B" a place in a local home belonging to a pair of Trans-gender persons who have set their home up as Registered Safe House just for such cases, called a very good, understanding, friendly ( Yep there still are a few of them) Policewoman who got "B" both a Court Warrant to collect ALL his/her belongs from School and the parents house PLUS immediate action from the Department of Social Security and the like so " B" immediately gets a Fortnightly Payment from the Government, Rental Allowance, a Health Care Card and will be moving to a NEW PUBLIC school when he/she feels ready to face the new circumstance.
After "B," had left with 2 burly Policemen, armed with the Court Warrant to collect his/her belongs, etc, the Policewoman then told me that the matter will be now in the hands of the Police Prosecutor who WILL be issuing both the School and the parents a Restraining Order AND, I like this very much btw, SUMMONSES for the School and the parents to attend Court and answer to Charges of Verbal, Emotional and Mental Abuse of a Minor UNDER the age 16 years.
I was also asked, more like 'requested, to accept "B" as a further and future Client for Counseling, etc, etc, and the Government would cover ALL costs for as long as I though may be necessary.
I've never been hugged by a Police Officer, let alone a Policewoman, before BUT that is what I copped when I told her that I flatly refused to accept ANY and ALL payments/recompenses what-so-ever BECAUSE I do what I do absolutely for Free, Gratis and NIX.

Triphid 8 Oct 13
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12 comments

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0

And the hypocrites who are "gods" people won't help B. Ask a theist, "If a person has a sex change from male to female, IF the person is a theist (And worships the RIGHT AND TRUE god) when the person dies, is she a female in heaven or does god change her back to a man?

0

Phew, what a relief! How brilliant that B got the right help so soon into the piece. Interesting that he knew to call you.

That would be because, I presume, my Counseling 'Services' are well known around town and have been available since the late 1990's when they first started.
I've also had a Free Call number, supplied by our national telephone service, since May, 2005 plus a Pager type beeper that I carry with me when I'm away from my home phone that alerts me when there's a call on the service line.
I used to give myself 2x half days off every second week and rely on 2 others who are qualified, retire Counselors BUT as of next week the service will now have 2 more 'stand-by' Counselors as well, like me ALL volunteers.

1

Well done. The only trouble I can see, is that it took you, and several other people who are obviously both determined and experienced, to get 'B' the help needed. What happens to all the 'Bs' who don't get lucky enough to meet a team like you ?

Well I can only do what I do in this town where I live unfortunately.
But moves are afoot after a chat session last evening to see if we can 'expand' our little service, since it has been a totally non-religious, secular idea from the very beginning, to encompass other towns and communities in our region first and then expand it slowly as far across the nation as possible.
We had great support and input from a Police Representative, an e-mail, most unexpected btw, from our local Member of the State Government who is fully behind us and will assist us to gain funding, etc, to expand our little service since, in his opinion, a certain Nationwide Counseling Service, once know to be semi-secular, seems to have back-slid and is now and often, sadly, using itself as a forum for preaching rather than helping, etc.
But atm, we are staying local but ARE always available to others in the region and our contact number are widely known thanks to the Police Service in the region.

@Triphid Brilliant.

3

As a general rule from history most of us had to save ourselves.
I am myself a 61 year old trans-woman, and yes my avatar is a photo of me within the last year.
I search my memory of my youth in rural Alabama for whom I could make such a call.
There's not a single person that wouldn't have returned me to my abusive father, not one.
I wonder how most of the people of my age and situation survived if not for silence and outward conformity.
Of course we're emotionally wounded, and that fact is often used against us, as if our emotional problems are due to our gender issues in a vacuum, as if the abusive society around us bears no culpability.
I couldn't even admit I was trans out loud until I was 59, and I did it here on agnostic.com under my old account as Mortal.
Then I changed my agnostic.com name from "Mortal" to "Novelty", a female, just so I could post as my authentic female self, leaving off the mountain of distraction associated with being transgender.
Despite the fact that I've ALWAYS made it clear I have NO interest in relationships there were men that Googled my avatar and dug up my old post as Mortal and would message me as if they were Sherlock Holmes just solving a case. One actually messaged me my real name and address, and the name of the model whose photo I used as my avatar, and they called me a "trap" which freaked me out so bad I deleted my account.
You may judge me for misrepresenting myself, but it's extremely difficult to just be yourself when your entire life has been one misrepresentation after another because of justifiable fear and the persistence of people that just will NOT leave well enough alone.
Is it any wonder trans people kill themselves as often as we do?
Honestly when I was reading your post I did so with suspicion because typically what seems friendly and helpful initially typically turns into a sucker punch that takes your breath away.
I have learned how to deal with a hostile world but I wonder if I'll ever learn to relax and trust anyone, I'm an old bitch and this is for me a new trick.

2

That's wonderful of you 😍😍 super kudos.. These children need support not to be berated...

2

Well done to you...we need many more like you. I hope it all works out well for the young person and their future.

2

Excellent job don't stop

Oh, have no worries on that, the only time I'll stop is when I'm either dead or incapable of doing it.
Btw, just had a call from "B" letting me know he is now settling in happily with his new found friends and supporters plus another call from the Taxi Driver to tell me that it has been arranged for her to receive Government Funding to cover ALL costs when using her Taxi to drive me to see 'clients' or to transport such 'clients'' who are in need of urgent counseling to my home.
Sadly, I'll be expecting yet another episode/round of questions and paperwork from the Government as to WHY I refuse to both Charge any 'Clients' Counseling Fees and why I refuse to accept Government Funding.
But hey, that has happened so many times before, almost like it IS a never-ending television soap opera type of thing with the exact same questions and queries, etc, etc, repeated over and over so regularly that I can answer them all in my sleep.

@Triphid Keep fighting the good fight, have been volunteering with state on covid response team testing, first aid at food banks , naloxone training, whatever I can do as retired P.A. and former combat medic.

3

You're doing good work mate. I'd hug you myself but, you know..🙂

Thanks but no thanks, I think the Policewoman did that far more than enough, my ribs still feel like they've been through a vice atm.

5

I'm glad you were able to help this child. Thank you very much.

Don't thank me please, I do what I do because I know it is the RIGHT and DECENT thing to do.

@Triphid well thanks for doing it for all of us that didn’t have the opportunity 🙂 but would have loved to help.

3

thank you!

5

Oh that poor kid, but thankfully there is a support network, & you got the action going. Those bloody religions are totally disgusting.

Even though I have what remains of Agoraphobia that I'm still battling with, I fully intend, even IF not called to give evidence, to be in attendance at the up-coming Court Proceedings both as Moral support for "B" and to watch the bastards get their just desserts.

@Triphid Good. Support is important.

4

I have read about the many & growing suicide rates amongst youngsters such as this, it is easy to see why they do it, being surrounded by so much shit at such a vulnerable age.

Yes, sadly I've lost a few to suicide, 3 if memory serves correct, out of an estimated 400+ over the years I've been doing the Counseling, each one has hit me hard but I still go on facing the horrors no matter what is thrown my way.
No matter how hard or long I ponder upon it, I cannot, for the life of me, see how any parent can simply turn their back on their own flesh and blood in a case like this and use God and religion as their reason for doing so.

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