Dropped my car keys yesterday, miles out in the country. And I thought, lost the keys, two/three hours to walk home, with no phone water or food because they are all locked in the car, then got to break into the house, (door key on the same ring,) be dark by then, get the spares, two/three hours back, girlfriend will think I have left home and be worried, when I don't phone.

So I set off on my route back, had not got two hundred yards, when I saw a set of keys glittering in the long grass. Million to one that I would spot them there. Funny thing is, I don't believe in Karma, and even if I did, I usually only get the bad sort.

I was told by an addict, if you can believe anything from an addict, that shoes over the powerlines like that is a sign of a drug dealer. That may not be true where you live.

Moom! I can't find my shoes, but I managed to get your scissors stuck into the light plug.