@BitFlipper

I stopped going to bars in my early 20s. Men grabbed me, tried to spike my drink, put their arms around me, and would not leave me alone. It was terrifying.

I never hike alone, never run after dark, avoid shopping after sunset, never go to bars, and keep my car and house doors locked at all times.

At age 30 I hiked alone to beautiful Spider Meadows. Men on horseback with guns were heading up for the high hunt.

"Hey pretty lady! Where are you spending the night? We'll join you! Har, har, har!" I felt terrified.

Since age 15 when I developed breasts, I have been grabbed by men, kissed against my will, sexually assaulted and continually catcalled.

As a result, I have PTSD. Women and girls are not safe in America. It's worse across the world.

I dress modestly and walk fast with good posture, head high, shoulders back. Never look at my phone or in my purse while walking.

@LiterateHiker that might be why you react with revulsion. But those of us who have never been approached (for good or bad) aren't clued in.

@BitFlipper

"You look like a victim," a man said on a first date in 2019.

"I don't feel like a victim!" I shot back. "I walk with strength and good posture, constantly scanning."

"Because you are thin, you look easy to grab," he explained.

This chilled me to my core. His words haunt me still.

@LiterateHiker Sounds like you are way overdue for some marital arts/women's defense courses . even if you never use what you learn, the self confidence that you gain in the kind of situations you describe can put a halt to anything else happening. The world looks far less terrifying when you're able to become a terror yourself - if need be.

@evergreen

Due to the pandemic, there are no self-defense classes available.

I stay safe by staying alert and being smart. I don't drink alcohol.

@LiterateHiker I wasn't speaking literally of "right now" - but when the opportunity arises....

@LiterateHiker:

Because I only watch broadcast TV, I have been watching the "Justice Channel" from Aurora, IL the last couple of years. It is true crime shows, one after another. Mostly it seems, crimes against women.

What an education it has been for me. It is sad and sick what has been heaped on women in this country, just in the recent past alone. There are many Ted Bundies, Green River Killers out there, let alone those who have only killed, raped, abused "only a few" women.

I feel for you. Keep up your defenses.

@Larimar

I wrote: "Do you get newbies asking for help? I've had a rash of them."

"A rash of them" means a slew, mob, assemblage, cluster, bunch, multitude or assortment.

It's not rare.

@LiterateHiker Semantics here, to me a rash is a a new rush, mob, etc. It's not something that is constant and unending. But we all have our own definitions to words that we use and it can cause confusion. My apologies for mine.

@Larimar

You're right. Like a skin rash, it's a group that suddenly appears.

Not constant and unending.

@HippieChick58

Hilarious! Love your reply. Well done.

Yes and indeed I have had a few.