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Well that nearly stuffed up my Sunday lunch yesterday.
Had ordered my Sunday lunch at the Take-away joint, a Hamburger with salad and grilled onions, was sitting down and quietly waiting for it when in comes some scruffy looking Dude, a bundle of papers or pamphlets under his left arm and crucifix in his right hand.
This raving lunatic then stands in front of everyone and yells, " Who is testing God and Jesus, who amongst you has defied them and has had this evil covid vaccine, come before me, knee before me for I am sent by Jesus to touch you, heal you and expel that evil solution from your bodies, kneel now, be healed or suffer the wrath of God and Jesus."
Lucky for everyone there was a guy serving behind the counter who we all know as Grant or Pimmie, he's about 6'3" tall, plays Aussie Rules Football, a nice bloke BUT this time he wasn't going to have this kind of shit happening.
Grant merely walked out from behind the counter, up to the 'Dude,' looked him squarely in the eyes and said quietly, " I'm a son of Dis, brother to Satan, father of a thousand demons, I eat Christians so RUN now or be my lunch."
Man, did that Dude take to his heels in a hurry, nearly forgot to open the door because he was in such rush to 'escape.'

Triphid 9 June 20
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5 comments

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1

You mean he did not want to become a martyr. Well that was an opportunity missed.

0

I love Australia! Or maybe it’s just your great stories!

Trust me, we do get the odd weirdo wandering around out here from time to time.
We have one that regularly sit at a Bus Stop and chats or argues out loud with someone who is NOT there, another that wanders the Main Street and abuses the lamp-posts, veranda posts, etc, but our biggest HORROR was Dirty Gertie, she died about 2 years ago, an alcoholic, who thought that, despite owning her own home, etc, and receiving the Aged Pension, she needed to do a bit of 'hooking."
Her infamous cry was " 2 bucks for a look, 3 bucks for a feel and 4 bucks for a quickie."
Her ONLY takers as far as I know were ever the local Derros ( Homeless Drunks).

@Triphid 😂 whatever pays the bills!

@Barnie2years Mate, everyone could actually SMELL Dirty Gertie from at least 3 city blocks away, she was once admitted to hospital and I was told by a nurse and friend that it took 6 bath-tubs of water, 3 bars of soap and 2 large green rubbish bags to clean her up enough to be admitted to a hospital room.
The Garbage were needed to dispose of the 7 layers of clothing, sans underwear of course, she was wearing, she arrived weighing 89 kilos and came out of the bathroom, clean and dressed weighing 62.3 kilos.

3

"Be gone fool!"

3

Big guys are real handy sometimes.

1

That is hilarious!

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