You seem to be overly obsessed with which labels fits you best.

Where do you derive your morality from?

I believe that life has the meaning we bring to it. As for pointing out anything about the behavior of others, my observation is that few want to hear it, so now I simply absent myself from their company, if I find it untenable. How YOU choose to run your life is up to you.

I'm just sitting here on a fence, I have great balance.

I consider myself a naturalistic nihilist. Nothing I or anyone does really matters on a cosmic scale, whether if you give everything to help others in need or cause a global genocide. Both have zero impact on the universe as a whole. To elaborate, I do have morals and believe in being a good person but I just realize it's irrelevant in the bigger picture.

I believe you’re too concerned with your identity which I as a trans-woman can certainly relate to but sometimes your post are strenuous the way scripture is strenuous. Like all your sticking points are associated with Christian sticking points. Just embrace your inner ape and like what you like and stop writing a personal contract that you’re doomed to break later because you are infinitely more than these petty definitions. Those failures make great arguments to drain your resolve for success. It’s not magic it’s psychology and most battles are won or lost long before the armies clash.
“I don’t believe” it is all I need, every point I add is a link in the psychic chains that hold me back.

"you got ta serve somebody"