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To hell with scones. Years ago some British idiot mixed their biscuits with the recipe for sand and somehow convinced the world they'd invented a posh concrete flavoured treat. Have you ever looked at a pile of bricks and thought "Mmm, I'll take one of those with jam please"? Try a scone!!! Want to know what the Great Depression tasted like? Eat a scone!!! Ever wondered what it would feel like to be buried alive? Choke down a scone!!! Scones are so terrible that if you managed to make one that was in any way good, flaky, fluffy, or delicious, at that point, it would cease to be a scone and become a biscuit. They are by definition, desiccated, pastry corpses devoid of all the joy or flavour. The words "Yum" and "Scones" have never been paired together. And if you're still sitting there thinking "I happen to like scones, my grandmother makes very tasty ones.", Well screw you and your wannabe Mary Berry Granny. You should be sconed to death. Yes, SCONED to death. That's where the rest of normal society gathers together in the spirit of righteous indignation to help you with scones you must eat after they strike your body until you die from bludgeoning or dehydration.

Dyl1983 8 Jan 23
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10 comments

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0

My late partner made scones all the time and the texture was great. They were also GF. They're supposed to be for dipping.

0

Oh, silly, pile the clotted cream & jam on one, lick them off, repeat.

1

Stop dissing my culinary heritage! My mother made the lightest, most delicious scones…plain scones, fruit scones, drop scones, cheese scones, tattie scones ….scones of infinite variety. They are Scottish, but their name originates from the Germanic or Dutch schoonbroot (fine bread) and can be either cooked on a griddle or baked in an oven.

Btw…I’m pretty crap at baking, so never make them myself because in my hands they actually do end up more like lead missiles!

0

I really like dry, slightly sweet baked goods like scones with a nice hot cup of black coffee. I mean, you can probably even classify biscotti as a slice of scone, and biscotti are amazing! To each their own I suppose.

1

Pasta. I mean, what is the point of it, what purpose does it serve ?

2

Years ago we were in the Mexican restaurant at Walt Disney World Epcot and overhead a Scottish couple trying to explain refried beans to their teenagers. The closest they could come up with was 'split peas mixed with plaster of paris'. 🙂
I suppose it goes both ways. Ha, ha.

2

That's why you drown them in jam and cream.

puff Level 7 Jan 24, 2022
2

I believe the origin of the scone is Scotland, at least that is what I was told when I was there. I find them delicious, but always best with plenty of coffee! 😉

2

So we call them English Muffins. Nooks and Crannies and all. Not a bagel but not bad.

No..a muffin is different from a scone. What you call an English muffin we know as a Crumpet!

@Marionville Well. We don't have scones then. We have bagels, "muffins" and croissants. I'm sure I would like them tho.

@barjoe I’m sure you would.

3

Well put. I hope you're feeling better. Here, have a muffin. It's English.

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