First, a little background you need: I hate textspeak. I mean, some of it I have to be okay with. Items and acronyms that have been in the lexicon for so long that virtually everyone knows them like 'LOL' are too ubiquitous at this point to argue against. But when a message is saturated with textspeak, grammar, punctuation, and spelling errors to the point where it takes you longer to figure out what it says than the amount of time they saved by writing improperly, they are telling you something. They are treating you like an asshole and telling you they think their time is more valuable than yours. I won't engage with it. Just the other day, during a discussion with the girlfriend of an acquaintance of mine who is a horrendous textspeak abuser, we found that he texts us differently, apparently because of my staunch anti-textspeak stance. What I'm saying is that it's inconsiderate and no one should tolerate it.
Also, I think I'm pretty progressive. At least I did. Maybe the definition of being progressive has continued to evolve and left me behind, but I really try to be as understanding as possible to people's situations.
Why am I telling you all this? I am fine with any number of gender designations. If you don't feel like any of them fit you, and you feel you need to have a label, make one up that works and run with it. The pronouns, too. Tell me what pronoun you'd like me to use for you, and if I need to use one, I'll do my best to remember and use it.
Except one.
I refuse to use they/them for a solitary person. It is incredibly inconsiderate to your reader. Numerous times while reading something, I've had to reread a few sentences because I figured I missed something because there was suddenly a plural pronoun when I thought we were only talking about one person. If none of the pronouns that are already available work for you, that's fine, make a new one. A lot have already been made up. (Although, maybe people aren't so incredibly fucking special and unique that they need an entirely new word to describe them? I could be wrong.) But taking a word that already means one thing and then asking everyone to agree that it also means the exact opposite is some ridiculous shit I'm not prepared to tolerate.
What do you think? Do you also hate the appropriation of a plural pronoun for one person? Am I just an asshole?
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I think the older we are, perhaps the less we are familiar with some of the texting acronyms, I remember having to think pretty hard to figure out what people were trying to say IFKWIM. (haha) Often I'd have to look it up.
As far as pronouns, I get a lot of business inquiries by email from people with names that could be any gender, and I'm just not sure not only of their gender, but also the gender of who they are planning to marry, so not sure whether to refer to them as bride, groom, spouse, wife, partner, etc., so I do have to do a little bit of a dance so not to make an embarrassing mistake. In addition to that, they might have hired a photographer or musician, and other vendors for which I don't know their gender.
So, I end up using s/he or their title and sometime before their event, I get their genders worked out. A few times I've actually been so puzzled that I ask to see a copy of their marriage license, which does indicate their genders for the state.
So, in writing I usually type s/he or sometimes they. It works for a solitary person for whom I don't know their gender, or also how "they" might identify. Therefore I think "they" is a useful term.
Seems the only time a client will actually have their preferred pronoun in their email signature are for clients for whom it's pretty obvious, but they say so anyway. Oh well.
Maybe we all need to be referring to ourselves in the 3rd person to avoid any confusion, haha, such as Julie is a person who likes to know how what pronouns her clients prefer. 
Julie808
Level 8
Apr 14, 2022
1
That sounds like a nightmare. If I had to do that, I'd type up a form that asks a bunch of info you need anyway, and I'd include all the gender and pronoun questions on the form and make it a first priority.
The other thing that people should remember, at least here on this site, is that this is an international site, used by English speakers across the world, as well as many for whom English is a second language. Neither of those groups will share the same conventions and quirks of text speak or local quirks. For that reason it is best and polite to stick with plain English.
Fernapple
Level 9
Apr 14, 2022
1
For sure. I've heard that English is one of the hardest languages to learn because of all of the ridiculous rules and the more ridiculous exceptions to those ridiculous rules. Don't know why people need to complicate it even more. Language is a tool to covey meaning. Why do people want a shittier tool that doesn't work as well? Personally, I don't like wasting my time and if I'm going to bother to speak or write to someone, I'd prefer the message came across the way I meant it.
@JeffMurray Sadly, I think that people want a shittier tool which does not work as well, because they want to be divisive. Because they want to create private languages that only the in group can understand, in part to defend their precious unsupported dogmas against questioning from outside.
@Fernapple Ah, that's a good point. Which ultimately is counterproductive because the goal is for everyone to understand your movement/group.
@TheMiddleWay Yes, text messages are an exception historically, but that is not over the long run of centuries the main thing driving insider language.
tbh, iawy. inet slng is bs
barjoe
Level 9
Apr 14, 2022
1
Very funny.
@JeffMurray I'm sorry. buddy, I can't help myself.
Language and communication evolve, especially now. I don't have a problem with 'them' or 'they' being singular. Even more so given the baggage that now comes with gender-based pronouns. I didn't like giving up 'gay' and 'meme'. Language is a social commons and having parts of the commons cordoned off for exclusive uses goes against my grain. However, in language, usage dictates the rules whether I like it or not.
For contrast, I resent trying to understand Shakespeare. It may be quaint, but I much prefer clarity. Still, it is instructive to see how much change occurs. And early American documents where the 's' looks like an 'f'. Yikes!
racocn8
Level 9
Apr 14, 2022
2
I agree and a sign of our smart phone times. A great shame cursive writing is not taught in schools anymore (Australia anyway). Thus eye/ hand co-ordination is lacking in the newer generation but they are brilliant when typing with their thumbs.
The irony of using all these pronouns is it really is an English language problem only with many languages, French being one, having feminine and masculine terms scattered throughout. So if the PC brigade got world wide influence, you would have to alter whole languages.
puff
Level 8
Apr 14, 2022
1
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