Sorry, you're right.

The reason I said I'd just laugh it off is that I am quite often in humorous company, where acquaintances joke around a lot. My thinking on the subject of this post is different now in the light of day. My reply was late at night, after being out with friends with a lot of joking around.

I had just come home from a show last night, where the musicians have a way of weaving audience members names into the songs, sometimes in a humorous manner. During the song "Wild Thing" the singer shouted out "Julie!.... She makes everything groovy...." and then some beats later "Come on and hold my thing... You move me!..." Or some such change of the usual line, but you get the drift. Gross!

The musician (a friend) knew I would act shocked and make a face. It's just a part of his "sleazy lounge singer" act so just part of the show. Yes, that bit was a bit raunchier than most of his lyric changes, but I didn't take offense, since it was all in jest. Everyone knows he's not being serious, I'm consciously single not looking for trouble and the singer is happily married. It's all done out in the open and half the people in the place know me.

Very different, I understand, from something said in private, between people who may not know whether flirtatious remarks would be taken seriously or not.

Best rule of thumb for men is to not make seriously suggestive comments at all if you're married, and still probably not even if you're joking and don't know the subject well enough to know how the comment will be received.

I bristle when inappropriate comments or actions are made regarding my body. I grew up with a father who made derogatory sexual remarks to me and about me at family gatherings, and poked and pointed at my body parts, so I do know the seriousness of that, and have had to overcome a lot to get to where I am. I do draw a line much straighter than most about inappropriate body comments.

I still avoid a friend of a friend who slid his phone along the table top once and snapped a photo under my fully clothed bust. His girlfriend just laughed when I told her about it - as my reason for not wanting to be in his company. She stood up for him and thought I was being too sensitive - so I dropped her as a friend. She didn't think anything of it - but for me I felt violated and told him so. That was not okay with me. I was the only girl at the table who had a problem with this little stunt of his, taking photos of women's chests from underneath.

So, yes, the comment originally related in this post seems highly inappropriate given that it's a comment on the fact he sees a fit body as something that is for his pleasure to look at or dance with.

I just generally try to assume the best in people and their intentions as being innocent, until a line is crossed and sometimes that line is fuzzy for some folks and clear as day to others.

When something offends us, we need to speak out and let other everyone know that it's not okay.

I was wrong in my reply - not every suggestive comment deserves a laugh - there are some for which we need to let the person know what they said was inappropriate so next time they might think twice before blurting out their thoughts. By Kathleen choosing not to jog by that house again, she is making a statement.

Don't we all have close encounters with fantasy situations? It's all about respect, and control. It's been my experience that people who do this are looking for the ones who will take the bait, and there's always going to be one.

@Gwendolyn2018, @RhondaShotwell I'm not justifying it, just trying to illuminate it. I try to describe the VERY desolate emotional world available to men - which women largely fail to overload.

I vote for the literate zinger, not the illiterate other.

@yvilletom His comment was disrespectful to both women, @LiterateHiker and his wife. The problem with being polite in such a circumstance is that sometimes they don't get discouraged and continue saying similar things. I am guessing that you are respectful towards women and are unfamiliar with how much disrespectful crap gets said to us. My response would have likely stopped it from happening again with that man.

@MizJ

I never told someone to "f-off."

@LiterateHiker Hahahahahaha. I knew that. It can be very satisfying when it is warranted.

I would have asked him if his wife was joining the party!

@Redheadedgammy Humor can be an excellent way of diffusing a situation.

Men of his likely ilk think, "She didn't say yes but she also didn't completely shut me down." With my response there is no doubt.

Women in our society are conditioned to be polite. Manners help society function smoothly. I see no reason that boorish behavior should be rewarded; if all chose to not tolerate crappy behavior towards women it would be a step forward.

@Redheadedgammy That's what my knee-jerk come back would have been, but in my experience a comment like that only encourages more talk like that from men.

@MizJ My whole working career I put up with men like this guy, and in order to keep my job I had to put up with a lot of boorish behavior! It’s demeaning and exhausting to say the least. I don’t miss working in corporate America at all!

@MizJ, @RhondaShotwell You’re correct that a comment like that doesn’t actually shut them down sometimes, but I always hope to embarrass them by acknowledging that I know there is another woman in the picture who he is disrespecting.

@Redheadedgammy I doubt that someone like that could be embarrassed into better behavior. The wife likely knows he is at least a bit of a pig. In my opinion both women are being disrespected.

@Redheadedgammy I would imagine most women have dealt with it in and out of the workplace. Once a coworker gave me a BJ sign, in return I kicked him with a steel-toed boot. I was called to the office and not reprimanded when the full story was told.

@Redheadedgammy Now that is a zinger!

I do not understand, he is being honest if you read between the lines. He is honestly telling you that he will cheat on his wife, lie to her, and do the same to everyone else. Yes, he is a sleazeball, and probably leaves a trail of slime behind him when he walks.

@dalefvictor You are correct, it is very likely he would have cheated if given the chance. Thus my response above.