During Obama's Presidency I dated a right winged Republican, Christian, motorcycle riding white woman.
She despised Obama and had views on non- white Americans that some may see as racist, yet she was primarily attracted to black men.
We clashed on many topics.
My physical attraction to her was strong and the sex was phenomenal.
In the end good sex wasn't enough to sustain a viable relationship.
Good memories. Bad match.
Your experience is by no means unique. I have run across the profiles of several really hot looking, college educated white professional career women on Match, who only wanted to date black men who were less educated than them, high school level only, for what was obviously just a casual, sex-based relationship, if you can call it that, or dating. It's not hard to figure out where these women's heads were at, maybe some sort of fantasy about black studs, etc. Needless to say, I never messaged any of them after seeing their profile, as I'm not their type or the race they wanted, to each their own.....
I am gratified to see the fairly even split of votes, because it doesn't surprise me much in my online dating experience. The numbers finally seem to add up and make sense. Let me explain. Almost all the women I have connected with on Match, tho they are only a small subset of the total population in my local online dating pool, tell me that almost all the guys they encounter on Match seem to be only interested in sex rather than actual long term relationships. But at the same time, over 85% of the women in my local dating pool, even tho I am very selective about who I message and reach out to in the first place, reject me without ever replying to me.
What I infer from that, for what it's worth, is that there are also plenty of women in my local dating pool who are glad to also, like all the men I keep hearing about, go ahead and date someone otherwise incompatible if they are hot enough looking and the sex is great. Because so many women are rejecting me, due to looks or maybe also or instead feeling I'm not compatible, even tho they seem to be compatible on paper, otherwise I wouldn't have messaged them in the first place. So looks and dating just for sex, seem to be the unspoken factors, at least in my experience, of who gets chosen for dating, rather than it being mostly or always based on compatibility traits that show up on paper and in profiles, so to speak. And it goes both ways with each gender. Which is what people have been saying for years on this site as well as what the research has shown. Looks matter way more than most people are willing to admit in their dating choices, except maybe in polls like this, where people are willing to privately admit what their priorities are in dating and partner selection.
I have no doubt that, in spite of how mismatched I am on paper with the local dating pool, on traits like religion, kids situation, drinking habits and hating country music, that if I still had a full head of hair and an athletic body, my response rate to my first messages would be a lot higher than the 10-15% that it is..... even with the fact that in my dating pool, the ratio of men to women is almost 3 to 1. And it is also obvious with online dating, including with my choices, that the first factor people use in narrowing their choices for who to connect with, is how attractive the photos look, and then moving on from there to see how compatible the rest of the profile appears to be, on paper, so to speak.
Sorry, not sorry... Sex is not important enough to me to date someone whose values are diametrically opposed to mine, and, while sexual attraction is important to me in choosing who to date, it's never been enough for me to keep seeing someone that I am otherwise not compatible with and who does not share my values. I won't even maintain a friendship with someone whose values are extremely oppositional to mine.
I was married to religious woman for 27 years but she allowed me to raise the only daughter atheist. Our views on religion never clashed. I can see a person as a human being even he or she is a religious or Trump supporter. Strange enough, our marriage was arranged in one day in my short visit overseas. We never knew each other before.
To many, being progressive or atheist is revolting. But there are good people everywhere. POVs is not a whole person. I decided to see only all good things in her, not what I did not like.
A week before the wedding, my bride admitted that she had tried to commit suicide during her previous marriage, and became divorced while she was institutionalized. She had hid her depression from me as much as possible. I knew she was seeing a therapist (who was useless). If I'd had a clue what was to come, I'd have called the marriage off. But, the fallacy of sunk costs and all that... I have resentment that she was the best I could find.
No. I've been duped into believing the person was totally on board with my world view, which WAS the attraction, and then finding out later they were just telling me what I wanted to hear. Ever more skeptical now in that way. The truth killed any attraction immediately.
I could never be attracted to someone who I knew to be diametrically opposed to my world view.
In fact, I did have a strong physical attraction to someone with whom I felt an emotional connection, but the "timing" wasn't right. Later I found out he actually was totally opposite of my spiritual and political leanings. So, knowing that helped me get over the loss of the possibility of a relationship when he left. He likely knew we were opposite in those views, since I'm pretty vocal, and he was more private. So, that's likely why he didn't pursue me, rather than the "timing" wasn't right. It's all good. But oh my was he a hunk!
My spiritual and political views are stronger than my emotional and physical attraction to someone, when it comes to romance.
My ex-boyfriend portrayed himself as someone aligned with me, but he is a chameleon who will tell prospective lovers what they want to hear. While he's not totally opposite of my viewpoints, it's far enough apart to help me keep my distance. Our disagreement in what is the meaning of honesty is what is SURE to keep me emotionally distant from him and with that physically as well.
Most of us have many different facets to our personality and standards. I had a relationship with a guy that we were simpatico on everything but his work and personal relationship standards he was an atheist and politically in tune with my beliefs.The sex was fantastic so I was willing to overlook the other until it interfered with me.
When I reached the age that I was emotionally ready to get married I looked for qualities that I thought were important but later learned were actually the opposite of what I wanted.
My first marriage. I married my long time on and off again GF. Red flags dancing all around me. We married in Vegas with an Elvis impersonator. The divorce was final right around the first wedding anniversary. My relationship with her prior to marriage was a lot of fun but once we tied the knot it was all over.