Let's be honest with ourselves and others, after 30 or perhaps even younger than that for the Stupids of the world, we just aren't going to change ourselves or anybody else.
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Feel free to reply to any comment by clicking the "Reply" button.The idea that we can change other people according to a plan, is behind much, if not most, human misery. People do change, and sometimes change themselves, all the time, but people and life are complex, sometimes compliant and sometimes resistant, and it is impossible to know all the other pressures they may be under, so that it is almost impossible therefore to predict the directions in which they will change.
Even trained therapists in the mental health and personal wellbeing industries, find changing a persons attitudes in a predictable way, both challenging and difficult. Even though they are dealing usually with willing subjects. The attitude therefore in which many, especially the immature, enter marriage, of for example, such as. "I will get him/her to loose that addiction she/he has to those horrible friends." Is doomed to fail, especially as it is most likely to be an attitude of the simpleminded and immature, and they are the least equipped to succeed anyway.
Fernapple
Level 9
Feb 12, 2023
1
Well I like to hope that we can all help each change for the better or at least try, since it's the right thing to do. But there does come a time when we try as we might to help someone, but they simply can't change. So, in that respect the sign is funny, for sure.
The message is a good one for those of us who were stuck in a toxic relationship and couldn't find a way out until too many years have passed in hope.
Julie808
Level 8
Feb 12, 2023
0
Nobody can change Anybody! Look how hard you have to work to try and change just One thing about YOURSELF....how often does that succeed long-term?
AnneWimsey
Level 9
Feb 11, 2023
1
Agreed. You can only lead the camel, horse or ass to the water - you cannot make it drink - unless it has testicles in which case I'm told that clapping them between two bricks makes it suck in but the side effect is that you are kicked to death by the autonomic reaction of its hind legs.
This is wrong. I changed myself in a few ways and can think of two people l know l helped change in some major ways, for the good.
Sticks48
Level 9
Feb 11, 2023
2
I like to think I'm continuing to change myself for the better, always trying to become better anyway. I may have tried to influence others to take better care of themselves or show more grace to others, but I'm not sure I ever succeeded in that. It's human to at least try.
I think that our perceptions of the world change as we get older and there usually follows a change in our actions and reactions. Some people give more allowance to the passage of time rather than jumping to quick conclusions about situations where there is little known information much less facts. As for changing others I think that we may lead the way by example. Why focus on changing others when we have enough to work to do on ourselves.
ASTRALMAX
Level 8
Feb 11, 2023
2
Pls read that post again, it's not about changing as a person but about changing another person.
If they are close to someone and they have some bad ideas and feelings about things which are very obviously wrong, then to not help them change is lazy or worse. I have helped my best friend change in najor ways over our over 50 year friendship. He has told me and others that on more than one occasion. My brother, our mother, and l had the same influence on her last husband. It was more than worth doing in both cases.
Well I changed myself after 30. I don't use my left hook as much as my right upper cut anymore.
Mooolah
Level 8
Feb 11, 2023
3
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