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Should we demand/expect for respect?

In the things, we say and do. If you do not demand respect then you are trying to earn it. If you do demand then you are not trying to earn it, you take it as an entitlement.
For me, I do not demand or expect anyone to respect me, I do not disrespect anyone, but before I can respect anyone I need to know what they are doing or saying, If not then I am just doing things blindly that is very stupid of me.

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TuyTran888 6 May 2

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Neither. Respect is not something you can demand, and most often you can have it without earning it. Parents sometimes demand respect from their kids, when in truth they are asking obedience from their kids, and the kids still do not respect them if they deserve no respect, but maybe will obey.
I love and respect all people, no matter who they are or what beliefs they have or not, or what culture they are from. I can love and respect the human beings without any need to love and respect their beliefs or their different customs in their culture. Just my weird view of things!


People who demand respect need to earn it. People who earn respect don't need to demand it

Well said


Demanding respect is the quickest way to ensure you won't get it.


I can't vote because your poll doesn't make sense. But, I will answer the questions.

Should we demand/expect respect? No
Should we need to earn it? Yes

The second part is not a question. it just a statement to an option if you do not demand/expect it.


Everyone should be respected from the start. But respect can be lost. The only way respect should be earned is when it lost.

I think we have lost the true definition of "respect" though. A feeling of deep admiration based on achievements or abilities. On a basic level, all people should be treated kindly until they have lost that priviledge.

to think with privilege is to given out freely. That is to supply to their demand or entitlement.
I do not demand or expect anyone to respect me, I do not disrespect anyone, but before I can respect anyone I need to know what they are doing or saying, If not then I am just doing things blindly that is very stupid of me.


demanding respect is an oxymoronish kind of thing. at some level in order to respect myself I will show respect to others. This kind of respect is simply being cordial, being civil. A level of respect beyond those things is not just granted it has to be merited in the eye of the giver. respect cannot be taken. obedience can.


My parents demanded respect, as did teachers at school, they never got it, only obedience.


First off, a "yes - no" option for multiple choice is confusing.

For two, respect is a reflection on you not them.
When you show disrespect, you are disrespecting yourself not them.

Hence nobody should demand respect from you for you should always be giving it.
If they demand it, it is a failure on your part not theirs.

So show respect always to everyone regardless of circumstance.
It's not about them earning it... it's about you having it.

I do not demand or expect anyone to respect me, I do not disrespect anyone, but before I can respect anyone I need to know what they are doing or saying, If not then I am just doing things blindly that is very stupid of me.

This sounds very Christian like, comparable to "turning the other cheek"? What if your respect is neither wanted nor valued?


Why should another persons action affect how you show respect? After all, as per the golden rule, if you don't want to be disrespected, ever, then don't show disrespect, ever.
Otherwise, we invite disrespect by being disrespectful ourselves.

Also, what have you to gain by showing disrespect when presented with disrespect? I claim you prove that others are in control of you.
What have you to gain by showing respect in the face of disrespect? I claim you prove you are in control of yourself


Turning the other cheek is in respond to harm being done upon my person.
I don't allow people disrespecting me to harm me, I don't let the words of others dictate my behaiviour... thus there is no need to turn the other cheek

Would you do things blindly. Given people the respect they do not earn or have not know what they are actually doing, is doing thing blindly.


What is gained by showing disrespect?
I can think of nothing good for you or the person as a result giving disrespect.

What is lost by showing respect?
I can think of plenty good for you or the person as a result of giving respect.

If respect is earned, who sets the price?
Your price and mine will be different.

And if you set a price, how do I know how much I have to pay to earn your respect?
If I can't pay your price, like bowing to you or speaking in your native tongue, then you will interpret my deficiencies as disrespect and show disrespect in kind when I've done nothing wrong.

And of what value is respect if I have to pay for it?
Like love, if you have to pay for it it's not genuine.
If I have to earn your respect, it's not genuine.

@TheMiddleWay Where did I said that I would show or giving people disrespect as an advantage? It does not. It is harmful to self. But to give people respect freely is being blindly respecting other. There is another option which most people neglect to see is find out what is it that you are actually respecting. I do not disrespect anyone, but I do not respect anything that is stupid. For example racist is stupid, Con-artist are stupid. same as lies and cheat.

@TheMiddleWay What is lost in showing respect? Well, If I respect something that is stupid that would make me very stupid. If I respect something the is cruel and harmful to humankind I am being cruel and harmful to humankind. If I just given respect out freely, my respect become meaningless. It is very stupid for me if I do thing that is meaningless.

@TheMiddleWay You took your name as TheMiddleWay. Then it would fit if you would Find out first before you respect, I would advice any disrepecting because that would disrespecting yourself.

@TheMiddleWay Respect is one extreme, Dis respect is another, The middle way would and should find out, investigate, questions...That would help us in the quest of knowledge gain better knowledge as well.

"For example racist is stupid, Con-artist are stupid. same as lies and cheat."
Suppose you meet a racist; why not simply disagree with them respectfully?
I don't see respect as agreement and showing them disrespect won't make them less of a racist.

"If I respect something the is cruel and harmful to humankind I am being cruel and harmful to humankind."
Humanity benefits from there being more respect in the world not less. If a person is cruel and harmful and thus disrespecting others, then how is humanity benefiting from you being disrespectful to them in turn?

"If I just given respect out freely, my respect become meaningless."
What meaning should your respect have? I see respect as how I act towards others, not as a reward I give to others for acting according to my standards.

"The middle way would and should find out, investigate, questions...That would help us in the quest of knowledge gain better knowledge as well."
There is no middle option between respect or disrespect, it's a binary choice not a spectrum.
And since nothing good can come from disrespect and since the world needs more examples of showing respect not less, I choose to respect all the time.

@TheMiddleWay If you respect a murder, con-artist, a liar, a cheater... What would happen to your character?

You prove that you are better than the murderer con artist and liar by not allowing their behavior to affect your actions.

Also, I want to take this opportunity to clear something up. Respect often is defined as "admiration" as in "I have great respect for policemen". I'm using respect to mean how we behave towards other people. Thus, my being respectful towards a murderer is not that I admire them, but that I will not act differently towards the, I will not, in effect "sink to their level" merely because of their actions. If disrespect is being un- courteous to a person, respect is being courteous. That is how I'm using the word and I wanted to be clear about it.

So for example, if a murderer extends their hand for me to shake it, I will shake it out of respect and not show disrespect. If they sneeze, I will say "bless you". If come to a door, I will hold it open for them. As I view it, nothing is gained by my not shaking their hand, by not saying bless you as I would for anyone else, or by not holding the door open for them.

For me to disrespect them thusly is a reflection on my character, not theirs.

@TheMiddleWay Did you read the part that I do not disrespect anyone? I mean I have said it in the post too. That does not mean I respect them. And when I do not respect someone that does not mean I disrespect them. Do you understand that? While I am not disrespect or respect, I am trying to find out what are they really doing.

This is why I made the clarification about what we mean by respecting and disrespecting someone.

While you are "trying to figure out what they are doing", are you treating them respectfully or disrespectfully? If you are talking to a murderer and they extend their hand for you to shake, do you respect the action and shake the hand or disrespect the action because they are a murderer?

That is the nature of what I'm talking about: treating people with respect at all times regardless of who they are or what they have done. Doesn't mean I respect (admire, condone) what they have done but that I'm going to treat them with respect because that is how I'd like to be treated myself (i.e., the golden rule)

@TheMiddleWay I treat them like I treat everyone. I told you already i do not respect, how could I treat them respectfully? If they do stupid thing that mean they disrespect themselves, I just point out how stupid it is.

@TheMiddleWay a murder shake my hand, I will shake it. but I will try to show them a better to live instead going around and killing people. so are racist, and other things. and I do not idolize anyone, If something is stupid and Buddha said it, then Buddha is being stupid as well.


Respect can only be earned. Demanding "respect" is actually getting fear.

godef Level 7 May 2, 2018

I answered yes, but I would have to qualify this. There are definitely instances where respect or at least outward signs of respect are needed. I am going into a profession that I will expect a certain level of respect from my subordinates, even if only on a superficial level. I will work hard to deserve that respect. I will give respect and be open to respectful criticism from everyone. However, there are plenty of times depending on what type of respect a person is expecting that it will most certainly need to be earned and the aforementioned superficial respect would be meaningless. Personally, I try to give everyone respect as people, even in the face of them not respecting me. For example, I made a comment online that flew in the face of a large group of conservatives and I got a heavy dose of reticule. Instead of matching the animosity directed at me, I kept my responses to people based on ideas and facts rather than the name calling I was getting. In over a hundred comments ripping on me, I probably answered 30+ people and only got 2 reasonable responses back. I never attacked others on the thread personally and still did not expect that in return, even if it would have actually led to more productive dialogue.


When someone demands respect, they are practically begging me to disrespect them.


Even if you have shown the level of integrity to be able to say you have earned society's respect it doesn't mean that people will give you the respect you are entitled to. People respect others who are undeserving of that respect according to civilized, social norms, just look at some of the populist leaders that have been respected by large groups of people over the course of history.
Hitler was well respected, Lenin was well respected, Idi Amin as well and let's not forget the current resident of the White House who garners a great deal of respect from his loyal followers.
Self Respect is what matters to me more than anything because if I don't have that then I don't have anything.


Need to change the answers on your poll as they don't make sense.

But I work on the basis of giving everyone my respect until they have shown themselves to be undeserving of it, amazing how many manage that.

I would never demand respect for myself, always found the demand itself to be evidence that the person probably isn't worthy of respect so they have had to rely on demands, happy to earn respect.

Kimba Level 7 May 2, 2018

I did not ask if you give respect or not, I asked if you would demand respect or not? Now how should I modify the answer to?

If you do not demand respect then the answer would be no, isn't it?

@TuyTran888 Your question is an "or" question, so the options should be "demand" and "earn". If the question had just been "Should we demand for respect?" then yes or no work as answers.

@Kimba Yes, I use or. Which would you do? would you demand respect or not?

@Kimba If you are not demand for respect, that mean you have to earn it. If you demand for respect, then what would motivate you to earn it?


Respect Is earned.Being polite is being civil.

Coldo Level 8 May 2, 2018

Respect is earned never demanded. When you demand the ego comes in play When there is ego -greed control,selfish and all the other traits surface !!!

Rosh Level 7 May 2, 2018

Respect is a choice. It cannot be earned nor can be forced. It is a gift that we can all choose to give to life. If respect were shown based on a demand for it then it would not be true respect so choosing to hang around people that do show us respect is really our only option for receiving it. My relationship with my mother would be a great example of neither tactic having any effect. I can neither force her to show me respect nor have I been able to earn it. It is either given freely or not at all so self respect would be the best way to resolve how others treat us because when we respect ourselves we will simply walk away from those that do not show us respect.


Your rights demand respect, your character has to earn it.

Does demand respect is a good way of life or not?

@TuyTran888 Can you try that again?

@Malara Do you know what we do is a piece of our way of life correct? So I am asking if we demand respect, is that a good way of life?

@Malara let me try this way. We have the right to say anything we want, correct? But should we say stupid things? What would that do to our character?

@TuyTran888 Your rights demand respect because you're born with them. That's not going to change. Everyone is born with the same rights. Your character develops based on your upbringing, experiences, choices, education. Your character earns respect based on how they are utilized.

@Malara We do not born with the right of demand for respect. The rights to demand for respect are from idiots that do not know how to earn their respect. They people given them freely. They do not want to have responsibility for their own action.

@TuyTran888 So we're not born with rights that are to be respected?

@Malara Such right is created by human. We do not born with it. It like religion, Do we born with it?


I try to treat others with respect, in my mind when someone demands respect I cannot give it too them. The demand in and of itself decreases that likelihood. I feel respect and trust go hand in hand. Once I have been shown by another person that I can trust them in difficult situations then my mind respects them more. I personally can’t make anyone do anything, like respect me. That’s their choice not mine.

Shar Level 3 May 2, 2018

Demanding respect....wish in one hand, spit in the other, see which fills up the fastest!
Ever hear of Frag the Lieutenant?

I haven't heard of Frag the Lieutenant yet.

I have never heard of that term, but I know in at least Vietnam many a lieutenant were taken out by their own men for the safety of the many

@TuyTran888 from the Vietnam War, yes....incompetent by the book new lieutenants had a habit of dying.

@AnneWimsey well, in other words, We should not respect things that are stupid?

@TuyTran888 i don't....your personal choice whether you do or not......if. you. were an Infantryman In Vietnam who knew the new lieutenant would Get Your Entire Platoon Killed..........???


The way my childhood was, I don't have any respect for authorities unless I see how they act or react.

well, with authority, we do it out of fear more than respect.

@TuyTran888 You should see my arrest record for protesting against authorities , I have no fear of them at all.

@buzz13 Well, I have to look at each of those arrests carefully, to see which one is not being stupid, lolz.

@buzz13 Not fearful of authority is one thing, but not careful is another reason why we are being stupid.


I don't think about it.

Then what is the use for your brain?

@TuyTran888 l simply don't care about what other people think about me, and haven't for decades. I have no control over other people and whether they respect me or not. I use my brain for all kinds of things, that just ain't one of them. ?

@Sticks48 So all the things your brain can do, but not this one is that what you saying?


Your choices don't match your questions, so I can't vote.

So what is your choice or answer?

@TuyTran888 Your choices, "yes" or "no" do not fit your poll questions, as Many are pointing out! Why are you being a dick about it?

@AnneWimsey asking questions is being a dick? that is only those that like the preacher from religious bullshit.

@AnneWimsey You do not want to learn, I do, I study and research human.


It's not a yes or no question so I can't answer the poll, but I've always thought respect should be lost not won, respect everybody at first meeting and let them keep it by behaving properly.


You didn’t ask a yes or no question. So that’s a bit confusing. But I voted no because I’m answering the first part of your question.

A person should never demand respect.

There is only one question. The other is just an option if we do not demand or expect respect.


This brings to mind Rodney Dangerfield, "No respect." I'm comfortable in my skin, so it really doesn't matter to me. Some respect me, some don't, you can't please everyone.


Ill let you know when I became Emperor of the known Universe !!

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