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Should we demand/expect for respect?

In the things, we say and do. If you do not demand respect then you are trying to earn it. If you do demand then you are not trying to earn it, you take it as an entitlement.
For me, I do not demand or expect anyone to respect me, I do not disrespect anyone, but before I can respect anyone I need to know what they are doing or saying, If not then I am just doing things blindly that is very stupid of me.

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TuyTran888 6 May 2
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41 comments (26 - 41)

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2

Every person and living thing has the right to a certain base amount of respect. Every individual should respect others and be respected as an individual. However, the respect a superior expects of a subordinate? That kind of respect, in my opinion, is something that must be earned.
So in conclusion, we should demand equality of respect among all people, but where it is due, some can earn a different level of respect. That does not mean I think some people are better than others.
Did that make sense? I don't want it to sound like I'm saying some people are lesser, because that's not true!

Would you respect a racist, a murder, a con-artist....?

@TuyTran888
I respect that they are a living thing. But from their actions they have proven that they do not deserve respect. They have made themselves lesser, not as a living thing, but as a person through their actions, and therefore I would not respect them. I would not be cruel to them, I would not infringe upon their rights, but I wouldn't tolerate their ignorance or philosophy. If that makes any sense.

@Cha So if they have and has been a racist, a murder, a con-artist and you did not bother to find out and you just given them respect freely, Then what kind of person are you?

@TuyTran888
I respect people and treat them with respect when I first meet them. I am not omnipotent, I do not know what kind of individual they are when I meet them. If I were to discover their true nature then I would have no respect for them. I would not respect them, I would respect that they are a being capable of thought, not an object, but I would have no respect for them as a person.
Does it make me a bad person to treat everyone like they're people when I first meet them? I would think not. I will not approach someone with disdain and undermine what they may be merely because of what they could be.

@Cha Should we do thing that we know instead of keep doing the same thing over and over again without knowing it? Why would you respect something that you do not know? There are a lot of stupid things out there. Would you just respect a stupid thing?

@TuyTran888 I'm not sure I'm understanding your argument here. Do you suggest that when I first meet someone I should NOT treat them well? That I should be rude, ambivalent and callous towards them until I know what they are like, and thus decide whether or not to respect them?
As to respecting someone I do not know, I think you're misinterpreting what I mean. I do not mean respect them as though they are a praiseworthy individual. I mean respect them as they to are an individual.

@Cha When you first meet someone, why do you treat them badly? to treat them well does not mean you are respecting them.

@Cha Any time I meet someone, does not matter if it is the first time or not. I listen to them, pay attention to them and analyze what they said and do, find facts in what they saying, If they have some oposite thinking, find out if that is something I missing if it is a thoughtful thinking or not or is it just a selfish or deluded thought, I would not look down on them if they have a deluded thought, or being selfish, I would try to find ways to explain it to them, I would not try to avoid them or hate them. I would try to encourage them to think more be more critical thinking and how we can all improve our knowledge. How to bring mankind better, instead of stuck in our little mind and being selfish little self.

@Cha When you said, you respect them as an individual. What do you know about them as an individual to respect? how much do you know? the lack of knowing them is the amount you given respect to them blindly. Doing things blindly is what? Do you know what does that do to ourself?

@TuyTran888 I do not treat anyone poorly when I meet them. I'm honestly confused by what you're saying. I treat people with respect when I meet them, common human decency, it does not mean I DO respect them. I don't know enough about them to actually respect them.
To be honest it almost sounds as though your are accusing me of being selfish and not critically thinking. Which, I would personally think, is not relevant to whether or not people deserve respect.

@Cha Do you know that respect means "admire, condone, support to whatever they do?

@Cha If you do not respect them then you are not treating them with respect. I do not disrespect, or I would just blindly respecting them. I would try to figure and find out what exactly that they are doing.

@TuyTran888 Alright, I see my point is not being understood so I will not press this matter further.

2

I think everyone deserves respect whether they are in trouble or not. I give my respect freely but I stay well away from those who I know would be abusive not their fault but I stay safe none the less

If a person doing something that is stupid, respecting it would make me stupid as well.

@TuyTran888 It doesn't work that way for me as I have constant self -respect and i know i am not stupid and nothing could make me stupid - and as I said I would stay well away but I still respect the humanity in a person and know I am not always kind ,sometimes irritable

@jacpod So you are saying that you do not have any repeat mistakes at all? You know all your mistakes and you fixed it all?

@jacpod If I am respecting something that is stupid, does that making me stupid as well? Let say I respect someone is being racist. Does that making me stupid?

@TuyTran888 I live a very quiet life in sheltered accommodation I am 70 years old and in my life have made many mistakes but these days no I don't have to work I don't have to see anyone I find difficult and I have no insecurities - So I have a choice whether to suffer fools gladly or not and I will give you a choice as this is getting tedious - either you block me or i will block you

@jacpod blocking people is just a sign of weakness. You deal with what you can handle. For me I am trying not to be so weak. The ages does not mean the intelligence rate is going the same.

2

You had better carry a VERY big stick to demand respect. Better to earn it.

1

None of this makes sense to me at all!

@jacpod It is the respect for the office (not the person) that he demands

@273kelvin Thank you.

@273kelvin He already shows her that he earned the respect. And also with what you said too.

1

Respect is usually earned. I don't expect respect from people who don't yet know me. however until they do get to know me, I do want general courtesy and politeness.

I do not demand or expect anyone to respect me, I do not disrespect anyone, but before I can respect anyone I need to know what they are doing or saying, If not then I am just doing things blindly that is very stupid of me.

1

You earn respect then you can command respect. A demand inspires fear. We show respect to law enforcement because we fear them.

Betty Level 8 May 2, 2018

I don't fear law enforcement as much as I dislike the jackbooted stormtroopers, the gangbangers in blue

1

I try to be respectful of all people regardless of if they are respectful. That's on them. I find that people who demand respect are demanding in general and I avoid them when possible.

MsAl Level 8 May 2, 2018
1

People either respect me or they don't. Demanding respect is self-defeating.

1

Respect cannot be achieved through demanding it. Ever.

1

General rule ? Give it to your seniors, expect it, but earn it from your peers, expect it from your juniors.

There are a lot of old people, that doing a lot of stupid things such as they still racist, they think they know it all, these are stupid things that people all ages do. Respect something that is stupid, that would make me stupid as well.

@Crimson67
Then you are entitled to change the rules to suit yourseof

@TuyTran888
The rules are general ! Change whatever you need to to suit your circumstances.

@VAL3941 If anyone flip and flopping rule that means they are dishonest. The rule should apply to everyone equally.

@TuyTran888
It does ! A general rule is a thumb suck ! Doe what ever you must for yourself only !

@VAL3941 I do not do things for myself only, I try to do things that would make mankind and humanity better. I am not a selfish person with been little minded that would just do things for myself only.

@TuyTran888
Some poeple like the ones you hate. Disrespect who you wish, other might offer respect. Your choice and it will not alter the world !

@Crimson67 There are a lot of senior people that are very shitty, they are racist, they are homophobia, they are selfish and a lot are very high level of ignorance.

@Crimson67 And there are idiots among us keep respect such stupid way, That is why it is so hard for mankind intelligence to improve. Look at all these religion and stupid superstition stuff. and they think by respect those thing is a good thing. How could we respect someone that worship a god that watch kids get rape like a child pornography? That would be a disrespect and very immoral thing to do. So many gays people suffer from that, a lot of them die too, some are even by their own parents that mentally abuse them to the point they have to commit suicide. The list of stupidity amongst us is just too much to list.

@TuyTran888
My point exactly. Choose who you respect but give them a chance to prove themselves.

@VAL3941 I give people unlimited chance for them to improve until they die. I do not punish people, or look down on them because their stupid mistakes, but try to help them to be better.

@VAL3941 I have not found a person that I can respect yet. and do remember that I do not disrespect anyone.

0

Both. To be treated with a basic amount of respect should be a given, e.g. to be given the benefit of the doubt at a first meeting. To retain that basic respect and receive more respect should be earned, e.g. to be listened to as an expert.

So we going to respect people blindly first, before we try to find out what they really are or what they really doing? What does blindly doing things would make us?

@TuyTran888 It makes us polite and, perhaps, less prejudiced. Basic respect need only involve common courtesies such as saying hello or holding doors and not snubbing people we don't yet know well enough to judge.

@pixiedust How could it be polite when you disrespect yourself by blindly respecting? You can be polite without respect, just do not look down and ignoring people and pay attention more and do not lie.

@TuyTran888 I suspect we have slightly different definitions of and expectations for respect.

@pixiedust Yes, we do or else we would discuss about it, that is obvious.

0

I think that in order to respect others we must start by respecting our self, our primary good, since few things seem worth doing if a person has little sense of his or her own worth or no confidence in his or her abilities to execute a worthwhile life plan (John Rawls)

cava Level 7 May 2, 2018

One of the steps that are necessary is to respect ourselves. But how? Can we respect ourselves while we keep doing stupid things? If we do anything that is stupid we are disrespecting ourselves, correct?

@TuyTran888 Well if we didn't black slide, if we weren't weak, if we didn't do stupid things, then we would not be human. We have a conscience, we know when we have transgressed our own principles. If self respect is intrinsically good, then it is an end we must continually strive for regardless of our failures to act in concert with our self on all occasions.

@cava We human do a lot of things. But should we keep doing it or try to be less?

@TuyTran888

Less sound like the Stoics way out. Fuck the middle way, live like life means something, don't do less do more!

But it is not a more or less issue, I think self respect is about finding out who we are:

"I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do."

It is about staying in tune.

@cava I was not very clear on earlier comment. There are a lot of things that we do, there are some of it is good benefit to humankind, and there are some that is very bad for humankind, should we be keep doing the bad things?

@TuyTran888 You seem to want put this all in terms of good and bad, both are nebulous terms of valuation. I have outlined that I think self respect is intrinsically good for the individual, which thereby implies that not respecting our self in our actions is bad

If you want to extend this to the "we"that comprises humanity then you are talking about normative values such as equal and just lawful rights, actions that produce the best results for the whole without forgetting those that need help.

"should we keep doing the bad things?" No we should not, but on a normative basis, for society as a whole, this is easier said than done. Wars, the manipulation of populations, and corruption are historically endemic in societies for all of recorded history.

@cava whether we respecting the self or other. Is it a good thing to respect anything that is stupid, it means any mistake that is repeating itself.

@TuyTran888

I think you are equivocating here, using the word 'respect' in two different senses. By all mean respect a man with a gun trying to rob you....but what do you respect the power he wields or the man?

@cava The man with a gun robbing me, That is not respect, that is fear. you are misunderstanding what respect means.

@TuyTran888 Admittedly there is a thin line between fear and respect but still many people respect the law because they fear the consequences of transgressing it (we pay our taxes). We respect power because we fear being harmed by it. Respect in this sense is not the same as the respect we give to ourselves and others.

@cava What I am trying to do or say is that we need to use our critical think and find out more about what we are really doing, so that our decision isn't so blindly, blindly decision is being stupid, that would harmful to ourself and others. The more we use our critical thinking brain our decision becomes more informative, that would help mankind better. What we really need is Critical thinking of the mind, The respect would follow. The lack of critical thinking, the more disrespect would show and actually the show of how we disrespect ourself.

@TuyTran888 Fine, I think that makes sense but I think that critical thinking is hierarchical, the vertical axis and I think respect is along relational or horizontal axis. Two different ways or axes.

@cava critical thinking and like everything in life about knowledge has a lot of level so that we can improve and get better, so life wouldn't so boring, so to tell to those that they know it all is being stupid.

0

You can demand respect, but, in most cases, that is someone more powerful than you are, and if you don't aquiesce to his demand for respect, you will be punished for it. You might loose your job, be beat up by his gang, be abused by your partner, or parents. You don't have respect, you have fear. On the other hand, if you are perhaps an oppressed minority, you can stand up for yourself, and say, we are humans, just like you, and deserve the same rights you have. That seems to me like a combination of demanding and earning respect. In the end, respect must be earned to be true respect.

Yes, you can demand respect but wouldn't that a childish thing to do?

@TuyTran888 demanding respect is childish, but also oppressive. It is usually someone who is weak and insecure, so want to appear to be a tough guy by using threats and intimidation. Trump comes to mind. When he calls all the Republican senators and representatives to the white house for their periodic fawnathon, he is demanding or otherwise he threatens to withdraw support for their elections.

@Wisewoman3 There are a lot of methods that people use to demand respect. They have a belief system where I do not and they said I respect your belief so you have to respect mine. Or if I do not respect in their saying because it is just too ignorant or stupid. They would think I am disrespecting them. I do not need to disrespect them because they do it so well with their own stupidity.

0

Respect should be freely given. Even “degenerates” deserve the basic respect as humans. Without respect, people seem more likly to ignore or abuse others.

Would you respect to something that is stupid such as racist, murderer, con-artist..? If you respect something that is stupid, wouldn't that a stupid thing to do?

@TuyTran888 I belive they exist because they don't respect their “victims.” Mutual respect demands mutual treatment. So when someone murders another and disrespects that persons life, then I will no longer respect them.

@RandyMoose just murder? What about racist? what about homophobia? What about con-artist? What about people that lie to your face?

0

I'm not on the "respect the person not the belief" wagon.
Profess idiocy, you're an idiot.
Respect doesn't mean tolerate, and if you're furthering detrimental ideology you're worthy of neither.

How about I put the question in this way. Would you respect something that is stupid?

No, regardless how many might think it isnt.
Show me how it's not and that can change.

@Slappy_Longarms you would respect everyone, no matter what?

@TuyTran888
no. The opposite.

0

This question isn't written for a yes / no answer .. The answers are;

  1. We demand respect.
  2. We earn respect.

The problem is respect is given so you can only try to earn. You can try to earn respect for the rest of your life in some ways and it will never happen (sometimes rightly, sometimes not), so it should be given.. . The answer that is not present 😉

You cannot demand respect and neither can you always earn it as it is given.

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