Do what works for you and the people you're partnered with. I don't dictate what's right or wrong in relationships entered into by consenting adults, nor do I have any interest in anyone else evaluating mine.

I had never loved two people the same way. Even my children are loved individually by me because each human being despite being alike is unique. My take.

To me it has absolutely nothing to do with Religion. I believe that we are all searching for what can only be described as a 'soulmate' we have multiple relationships purely in the hope that we shall find them somewhere, someday!

It's not wrong to love more than one person at the same time, but it is wrong to cheat -- and by that I mean being involved with more than one person when you're supposedly exclusive to at least one of them.

Some people can share sexually and/or romantically, some people can't. Everyones needs are different and there's nothing wrong with that. We do need to be honest with one another tho, if for no other reason than it makes life easier, and we particularly need to be honest about things that have a strong emotional impact.

So yes, it's preferable to be honest immediately about your own needs but you'll have to accept that in a society that at least gives a lot of lip service to the value of monogamy that will be limiting your dating pool.

On the other hand I dislike when polys don't respect my inclination for monogamy.

In my experience, 'forever' only lasts about eight years, anyway...

Love isn't possessive - people are.
. Aside from what actually does love mean.

It's not wrong and it's always better to be open and honest. Always.

But often romantic love pushes for exclusivity - our other half.

It becomes clearer if you imagine one of the men that you love, loving another besides you. How would you feel then?

I think your point about being open and honest underlines the whole subject.

I definitely do not believe in the religious perspective of marriage. However, I do consider marriage to be a monogamous contract between two people (unless there is an agreement otherwise). I consider polyamory a lifestyle choice. I don't know how workable it is. Seems to me that polyamorous relationships would eventually generate jealousy and conflict, but I have never done it. As for having an occasional "allowed" fling to keep variety and excitement in your life, it could work, but has the same risks. Your partner might realize things aren't going well and agree to it, but not REALLY be agreeing to it. =\

Monogamy is a fairly recent concept. Our society tends to believe this is the only way.
I think as society accepts more and more concepts that used to be frowned upon or even forbidden, we will keep expanding and opening our minds further.
Do I think it is possible to feel romantic love for more than one person at a time? Yes.

All of your feelings are okay. We choose our actions and behaviors. I love the quote in "Moonstruck" when Loretta said:

"I may be drawn to you, but that doesn't mean I have to act on it. I can say 'yes' or 'no.'"

I will always love my former boyfriend, Dan, who is a friend. Will always have fondness for my ex-husband. Terry and I have known each other for 35 years.

People grow and change.

There is no more reason to believe monogamy is a righteous necessity than god is. No evidence to support this dogma. So far as I can tell, all its good for is raising children. If you don’t want kids, already had kids... it doesn’t serve much purpose. I think it’s just to create a stable environment for progeny. The more base needs are provided for by other social structures, the less relevant monogamy becomes. This is the real reason for the erosion of marriage. It isn’t because society lacks values, it’s because the institution has less and less useful function in modern culture.

Polygamy is more natural than monogamy. It's also not cheating when you're both consensual polygamous. I prefer monogamy personally, but I still acknowledge that it's unnatural compared to polygamy.

There are tons of marriage and relationship models out there. Marriage and monogamy are not #1--or even appearing--in all cultures.

I've never understood why people feel like they have to live, behave, believe, dress, eat, etc. exclusively like the people around them, and simply cannot live, behave, believe, dress, eat, etc. like other people elsewhere in the world. Especially not since the invention of the printing press, steamships, and trains--not to mention cameras, telephones, airplanes, and the internet.

I mean, the "zero" was invented in India. Since I'm not Indian, does that mean I can't use it? No? Well, what's to stop me from adopting marriage customs of the Amazon, then?

Monogamy is not natural behavior. It is forced behavior.
Very few species mate for life. When humans do it, it is a choice.
Religious dogma damages everything it touches.

We don't...well, I don't. I don't think many people here do. My wife and I have been, and will continue to be (taking a break atm) swingers and we love the lifestyle. As long as you and your partner(s) are in a mutually agreeable relationship and no one is being cooerced or forced and as long as everyone involved are willing parties to it, I say the more the merrier (safely, of course).

Uuuuuhhh threesomes are great !!!!.... I have been told....

The Bachelor does it every season! lol

Well, not all of us do. To answer your lead question, you can't control who you fall in love with. All you can do is control how you handle it.

GGirl, 35 years ago, no one had heard of polyamory or hall passes. The idea was ONE FOREVER. If I had to do it all over, I'd have stay single, or gone in with the idea that an occasional side piece was ok

It doesn't have to involve marriage. When someone is in a relationship with me, I make it known that we are to be monogamous. If she doesn't want to be monogamous, then she can seek what she wants elsewhere. I just don't want to deal with it. It causes problems with time spent and other issues. I feel there is no sense in the relationship if she wants to spend time with other men. What's the sense of being in a relationship? That's more like just a friendship or just a sexual relationship. If someone doesn't get jealous then more power to them. Let them rent their significant other out to the neighborhood. No judgment. It just isn't for me. Unless maybe we go a few years and I agree to want to have sex with other people either individually or together. It's all about what you want at the moment. Neither view is being "enlightened" or not. It just is what it is at the moment. Relationships need to balance with each other's wants and needs. If they don't, then bye bye. I'm not going to stay with someone and be miserable if I'm not feeling what's going on. If I have problems with something and my significant other doesn't care enough to take that into consideration and compromise on a larger scale, then we don't need to be with each other. If you are "in love" with someone else, I don't see it ending up well, for me at least. If you don't want a relationship, don't get into one. When I was in a relationship, I looked at other women and saw women who I would have definitely wanted to have sex with, but I had a responsibility to someone else's trust and their feelings. I also didn't want to have sex with other people. Maybe if I was with someone for 20 years I would think differently, but I don't right now. If I have sex with other people then I feel like I don't really "love" the person I'm with. Like I said, it doesn't have to do with being enlightened or evolved. It just is what it is. Maybe I will feel differently at another time in my life.

There are enough choices and ideas out there to satisfy almost everyone. I think a person should decide what they want and then make sure their partner or partners or the sex toy in your drawer are all in agreement

People get hung up on convention & blindly following the norms. It's nice thumbing my nose at all of that and finally being able to evolve 'me' in peace. Love poly & open.

When you commit, you tend to do everything to achieve something. Love is some sort of a commitment which is not written or signed in paper. When you break your commitment, that invisible paper gets lost, and it's hard to bring the trust back. We have only 24 hours a day, out of those you sleep and do chores more than half, then work, then may be children, then may be pastime, so where does a productive man or woman get time to deal with multiple partners in a loving way. If you are hooking up or cheating because you don't feel the love for your current partner, then sooner or letter someone will break someone's heart. There's no absolute right and wrong.. when you love someone, you eventually know what will break their heart, and if you intentionally break heart anyway and bring sadness, are you wrong? It's up to what you define compassion for yourself. But I am a fan of free and unconditional love. But unluckily we haven't physically and culturally evolved with such maturity and rationality. So, conflict and jealousy and heart wrecks are inevitable.

Monogamy vs polygamy vs the extended family. All tend to devote themselves to either themselves or their progeny. Which is right? It must be defined by the individuals involved.