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Should I baptize my kids to appease my mom?

My mother keeps complaining that my kids arent baptised. i just tell her that if they want to do it when they get older then ill do it. but she insist that it happen now...
what would you do?

By Yvette773
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52 comments

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5

No! Do everything you can to support them in rational evidence-based thinking.

BD66 Level 7 Oct 8, 2017

Yes bro that's right

3

I know it's difficult to say no because she's family and you love her and don't want to upset her, but they're your kids and it's your decision. You can't live your life for others or by their values. Be true to yourself, and live authentically.

resserts Level 8 Nov 14, 2017
3

no. she raised her kids, its your turn, i hate it when i hear people caving into religious bullies, even when its a family member, she should respect you and your position.

3

I did, for my daughter's grandparents on her father's side. I found no harm in it. She was 9 mo old and had no knowledge of what was going on. And I don't believe in any type of religious ritual, so it made no difference to me. Made them happy and they know not to ask for anything more. If they tried to take my kid to church or CCD or indoctrinate her in any way then yes, I'd have an issue and put a stop to it. Also, If my daughter was over two years of age I wouldn't have done it.

Jainasolo Level 4 Oct 15, 2017
3

No you should stand up for your children in my opinion. That is something I am against anyway. Children cannot validly make that choice. If they choose to do so as adults, then it is THEIR choice. The choice tho is not hers or yours. It is theirs.

Yes, stand up for your children till they can do so on their own while keeping your good relations with your mother

3

Well, that depends. If you truly do not believe in its significance, what harm would it do?

Agree

3

No. Allowing them to choose when they get to an age to decide for themselves is a very valid answer. If she wants to override their rights in this, I'd take that as a red flag.

Zster Level 8 Oct 7, 2017

There's always room for compromise

3

I was dedicated back in the 70s. I particiated in religon when i had my first son, he was baptised but my youngest son was, I always joked my older son won't go to hell but my youngest will..A JOKE please understand in MY MIND. My oldest refuses to be part of religoin he thinks its a cult and a joke now...my youngest is slowly following, they are non belivers..

My best regards to you and your sons!

3

I had endured this conversation almost weekly with my mother when my kids where young. She finally stopped and I noticed a bottle of holy water in her fridge. I asked her what it was for. She said it was for blessing the new house. I suspect she poured some on my kids as a "close enough" type deal. It's just water and it made her feel better. The whole ceremony at the church was never going to happen though.

That's wonderful, you made your mom feel better.

I hope she poured some on your kids before she put it in the fridge, not after the water was ice-cold.

Your kids didn't know what happened. They're innocent.

3

It is your child, not hers. How you raise your child is your business, not hers. She raised her kid(s) already. It is your time. smile001.gif
Just my thoughts.

smilnjan Level 6 Oct 6, 2017

Correct . . . but unless you really want to draw the line, with that attitude, I just hope you won't be asking any more favors or advise from your mom

3

It's up to you... and your kids. Your kids are yours, not your mom's. I personally think that parents should wait and let their kids decide (having been baptized a time or two).

Yes, they (parents) have had their time

2

Of course not, you may respect your parents, but that doesn't mean that they have the right to force you to make decisions against your will. Complaining for her is a way to influence you. Actually, it means violation of the fact that they raised you as a conscious person. They try to invade your personality.

Gert Level 7 Jan 28, 2018

I Wholeheartedly agree!

2

This kind of browbeating is why some many people are religious in the first place. If you go along with something you don’t agree with, you’re part of the problem.

2

She cannot force you. Stick to your resolve lest it send the wrong message to your children. Every time she brings it up is another oppty to reason with her.

2

We did not raise our two kids with religion except the xmas and easter were celebrated with gifts and candy. No christ rising from the dead. So my daughter meets a guy becomes a christian and baptises our grandson. I just try to ignore the whole deal.I really feel she caved to keep the guy to get married.

Specman Level 6 Nov 2, 2017

I don't think it's a bad thing that she turned Christian. It's all a matter of probability. Atheism is spreading, but so too is immorality. As a nonreligious parent you must be able to teach kids to be individuals who process emotions without the need for religion. But you must also teach them to find happiness and fulfillment in life through structure and morality. You didn't force a religion on her, but apparently she felt something was missing in her life without religion. Religion is more about feeling good than anything else.

2

I think it is up to you smile001.gif It is just a meaningless ceremony but if your mom is religious and it would make her happy then I would go ahead and do it, Besides the fact that Baptismals are considered a valid form of Identification so that is always good to have, Oh and the gifts of course smile001.gif I don't see any downsides to it smile001.gif

2

Stand firm on your statement that you made. Let the children decide when they're a bit older. Even though your mother raised you, she should recognize that you're going to raise your children how you see best.

jadeb99 Level 3 Oct 20, 2017
2

Make a desicion for yourself.

She can't , that's why she's here . . . Let's help her make a decision

2

your children are always watching---just as you were when you wee small. How you act is important---they see when you tell them one thing then do something else. This is the answer to your question....how do you want them to be raised? Are you going to let them find out about the hypocrisy of religion or do you want them to grow up believing God is watching their every move..that he knows what they are thinking, what is in their heart. If you did not know the answer you probably would not be on this site.

Preach to your children and make sure you practice what you preach even when nobody's looking

2

You have the correct idea. Let your kids grow up, and then they make their own decision.

Agree

2

Nooooooooo! Be true to your beliefs.
I went through this years ago and stuck to my beliefs that people should be mature and then decide where their faith leads them. Maybe they choose religion or don't, that's their choice.

Sandy Level 1 Oct 7, 2017

Yes be true to your beliefs and have the confidence that you can be a good friend to your mother while nurturing your kids' young minds and lead them away from the teachings of religion that doesn't conform to what you believe is right. Otherwise, move out and away from your mother if you can afford it.

2

I say children should be protected from religion

In a way, yes

2

I feel like if it was a huge deal to them...go ahead. Because honetly...it's nothing more than a little show. Probably the younger the better, so they don't remember it. The few I've gone to just seem....creepy.

otter679 Level 3 Oct 6, 2017

I agree

2

I understand those who say it's just a splash of water that won't do any harm. But in many denominations of Christianity, pledges are expected from the parents and witnesses/godparents to raise the children within the faith. If a public declaration of intent to raise the children in the faith is expected, then how can Yvette comply with that without "bearing false witness"? I think it would depend on what is expected from Yvette whether the splash of water is acceptable.

We all skipped classes during our school days one way or another, didn't we?

2

I'd tell her to mind her own affairs. If she can't accept or respect your decisions as a rational adult then your relationship is not a good one.

Don't you think that's kinda harsh? We can always say it in a nice way

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