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When adult children choose religion

How do you handle the differing opinions and traditions when you share genes but not beliefs?

RoadGoddess 7 Dec 14

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My daughter became extremely religious as she grew up. I was a divorced dad when she was young, and my mother used to take her on Wednesday night because I was busy. She went to church with my mother on those a Wednesday nights, and apparently that was what did it. I didn't talk to her about my religious thoughts (maybe I should have). I've never told her I'm an atheist, and even though she knows I don't go to church, she has never asked. I love her and my granddaughters very much, and at this point I'm afraid I'd lose contact with them if I were totally honest.


My friends don't wish to discuss it they really don't have answers to my questions it is always awkward for them when I bring up the subject


Be fair to everyone. If your friends or family discover something that works for them (and it's not a cult or an abusive relationships or drugs, etc) let them have at it. If they find that it doesn't work after some time, be there for them in whatever capacity they can tolerate.


We usually judge people by the time they live . Culturally and the access to neutral education away from religion or politics is something to consider. For example there is resistance to study the theory of evolution. The books of economic in usa steels the very beginning of the economic science wich is also related to evolution. So how can we judge believers with any religion they might choose if there is not a genuine acces for an independent learning system. The educational system make the apprentice to be thecnical and obedient. Also religions are one of the best instruments to control people. A good question is: who would like to feel free.?


If they aren't open to discussion, boundaries. If they are open to discussion, debate. I am not talking about a climactic clash, but a constant pressure at every opportunity.


Both my daughters were raised Christian. I was raised a Buddhist with parents that allowed me to have freedom. My reasoning skills to asked "Why" couldn't be contained within Christianity. So, for my girls... I had planted the seed of asking "Why". My youngest has already determined she can't be a Christian, just doing it for the sake of her mother. The other one will have to go thru the process and eventually will see the spiritual lacking of Christianity. Everything will take time.

So, be patience and respectful... everyone has their own path to take. Listen to where the path is taking them and give advice only when asked.


When I was married and had small children, they once were looking at Raphael's little angels. One asked "What are they looking at?" My husband whispered to me, "tell them Galileo." That's pretty much their upbringing. When one of them was about 20 she said she mourned over tellin us that she believed in God. But it was just a phase and she's over it. God is like any fad, they mature, they get over it.


A lot of good advice here.

twill Level 7 Dec 14, 2017

I guess at some point there's nothing much to do save accept their decision. I think I'd still try to express the importance of rational decisions and evidence, but it's ultimately their decision and I can only lead the horse to water. (This is totally hypothetical in my case because I have no children and have no intention of procreating.)


its up to them, your opinion is your own, if they want a god, let them have it your life is yours and their life isnt, so why worry about it


I have a younger brother that says he is a born again christian, he pretty much hates my guts especially since mother now says she is agnostic, he blames that on me.

How painful. So sorry that happened.


I go along with them to a degree unless it's my house then they have to. luckily my family and friends think like I do.


My son is only 14. So far he is very scientifically minded. I can't imagine him changing, but I know that people do change.
In other words, I have no basis from which to answer this question. Yet.
I have one sibling who is Catholic. We simply don't discuss it.


I let people think what they will until they try to stop me from doing that very thing.

Sounds like a good strategy!

I’ve lost several friends after they began proselytizing me. According to them, I was attacking them.

there not friends then


I know 2 couples who were off the scale in terms of that liberal hippy way of being. Both have sons that enlisted in the armed services and sought to be trained so they would be in direct combat.When I go to a holiday dinner at their house everyone seems happy to be with family. The parents have expressed their surprise at the kids going in such an opposite direction but they all still love each other


My wife and I raised our children to understand that people have different beliefs and make sure you research and understand what you believe. My daughter was being pressured by a Christian to believe in god and when another classmate butted in and said "there is no god", my daughter said "everyone has different beliefs and I don't have to believe what you do". I was proud of what my daughter said and frustrated that someone's parents put the demand to believe in a god in their child's lifestyle.


State clearly that any discussions about religion will always be conducted in a rational manner and the discussions will stop at any time either strays into irrational argumentation. That will have two effects. First, it will stop many discussions about religion. Second, it expresses indirectly that the parent does not agree with the child's choice, but recognizes that it is the child's choice.

I like this!


My younger daughter was raised without religion and believes in nothing now. My older daughter was baptized by my ex-husband behind my back. She believes in New Age and Wicca. Her father feels she has been exposed to devil worship. They were exposed to cultural aspects of Judaism-my religion of origin. We get along fine.


I have 2 siblings that are "born again", so online (Facebook for example), we can get argumentative. When we visit face to face, all that fades away and we always have a nice visit. I think it's mutual respect that wins out.

Mutual respect is so important.


Had one do that. I mean, really off the deep end. How do I handle it? She's my daughter. That's all I need to know. She knows where I am and I know where she is in terms of belief and no belief. It's really nothing more than a matter of mutual respect. She was raised to be free to make her own decisions and she did.

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