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How great of a role does appearance play when looking for a partner?

AstralSmoke 8 May 19
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12 comments

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1

For me, its at least secondary to mind and heart

4

C'mon now.......you don't look at someone across the room ,or their profile picture, and say "look at the personality!". Of course appearance is important. We'd be lying if we said it wasn't, at least initially. I've met men (and women) who are perhaps not MY ideal of attractivenes, but they BECOME more attractive once I get to know them better. Personality lasts.

1

Only animals worry about appearance.

Properly evolved humans would base their connections on substance.

Unfortunately I guess, I’m still an animal.

3

Appearance matters to everyone - men and women - especially when you first meet someone. But it's not limited to looks. You can only do so much with the genetic package you were born with (and anyway, your looks will change over time.) Appearance includes how you take care of yourself. When you exercise, it shows. When you eat healthy foods, it shows. When you have good hygiene, it shows. When you take time to dress in clothes that are flattering to your body and coloring, no matter what that is, it shows. And all of this relates to your level of confidence - which is super sexy, at least to women - so appearance is the whole package.

Conversely, someone who aces the genetic looks department, but is smelly, sloppy, unfit, unhealthy, unhappy...is nonverbally telling me that he doesn't take care to put forward his best self. I would never pursue a relationahip with that person. He may be perfect for me in many ways, but I wouldn't see it because I couldn't get past what his appearance is telling me - that he doesn't take care of himself.

2

For men with options, the physical attractiveness of women is the most important factor. For women looking for a man, other attributes such as wealth, status, and power are just as (if not more) important.

KenG Level 6 May 19, 2018
1

Pretty significant for me. And she's still beautiful after all these years.

1

To the degree that the appearance indicates a state of health. To me one's health is foremost in a lower stress relationship.

2

For me the appearance needs to indicate a healthy person who is in reasonable shape. I am extremely fit and seek a partner who can do activities with me. I actually like the no makeup, long hair hippy look. A woman needn't be a knockout. Personality, intelligence and education is more important.

1

Movie stars prefer movie stars... models prefer models... athletes prefer athletes... weight lifters prefer athletic types... swimmers prefer swimmers. Overweight rich guys prefer attractive trophies... attractive trophies prefer ...... it changes...lol. beautiful and gorgeous and hot and smart... why not.

You're straightforward and wishy-washy at the same time. Amazing!

@AstralSmoke. Lol... I love you man.

2

Important, along with intelligence, sense of humor, and NO drama. If they owned their own bar, that would be nice, but if not, it wouldn't be a deal breaker. ?

4

I have had my best matches when I wasn’t “looking for a partner”. I look for good friendships and see what happens. I think when you start to look so much closer at someone in a friendship, the hidden beauty (or ugliness) comes through.

Swade Level 4 May 19, 2018
1

For me, it means more than I wish it did. Now that I'm older, and divorced, my skill at spotting the prettiest woman in the room is pretty useless, because almost always, they are too young for me. I've got to adjust my settings for the age I actually am, rather than the age I can imagine myself to be. I don't want to be sexist, or ageist, but I'm a very visual person, and a lifetime of the media feeding me images of what is perceived to be attractive has had its affect on me.

I went through a short, but similar phase myself. I’m still young (and somewhat immature) in my head, but my body didn’t follow my delusion. Had to add the years up in my head and recalculate my logarithm.

@Faithless1 I can't say that I can relate, but I can empathize.

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