I would rather dispense with both. Reason is a far more useful concept.

If you grow up in a very strict household, even if it is not religious, you can spend the rest of your life burdened with unnecessary guilt and shame. I think those of us who were brought up like that tended to go a bit too far the other way when bringing up their own children, letting them think they could do anything, and have anything. I think society, at least in the UK, is slowly coming back towards thinking we need to be somewhere in the middle and do-as-you-would-be-done-by is a good line to take. But young people today are under relentless pressure from the media - both on the internet and in the real world to be greedy and selfish and demanding and to meet impossible standards and stereotypes. We need more social education, starting at a very young age.

often it seems that those who should be feeling it don't, and those that shouldn't do.

I think we lack humility and yes guilt in our society. The problem is what people feel guilty for. Making people ashamed of appearance, sexuality, differences is wrong. Wallowing in guilt over things you can't change is not healthy. That doesn't mean you shouldn't feel bad if you hurt people or hurt someone's feelings. That's basic empathy and it means your not an ass hole.

Ooh that is a hard one to answer - For myself I think shaming and guilt tripping another, is in bad taste so its only me shaming guilt tripping myself thats up for grabs for me. I don't actually do either - most times I feel guilty its about something that I could have/should have done and didn't in which case I can apologise and explain that my faculties are on the wane . Shaming seems to me too brutal to contemplate I have felt shame but wouldn't want to shame myself .

In general I treat people as I want to be treated. I give the benefit of the doubt and respect where it is due. Having said that, I have neither guilt nor shame, none at all. I am who I am. I do what I do. Love me or hate me, I am me. Therefore there's nothing to be shamed for or guilty about.

I think we have to first think of what constructive purpose guilt and shame would have. Is the guilt or shame motivating us to do better? Is it more motivation than we need to have to do better?

Never felt either never will. Why feel guilty you can't change the past it's done feeling bad won't change anything and shame please I do what I do because I want to if you don't like that then fuck you why am I going to feel ashamed 99.999999% of the human race are nothing but NPCs barely smart enough to know they exsist just there for background really why care what they think.

Older people need to have more shame in locker rooms. No one wants to see your wrinkly naked body with everything hanging out exposed to the world. The locker room isn't your personal bathroom; other people use it too.

Guilt and Shame are not necessary in order to teach children right from wrong. I was brought up in a religious household and I lived that life into adulthood. I missed so many things through my naive blinders. My parents were more worried about what everybody would think of them than they were about how I felt or what was happening in my life. Don't let the neighbors know, etc... I was once in a protest march in college that had been televised. On my next visit home, I got it with both barrels. So many people in our small town saw me and asked my parents just who did I think I was doing that. These things happened so much that I just gave in and went to work for the church. I was shamed into it. I was told it would be better for my children to grow up in this environment. I would be happy. In the long run, it didn't work out. I read too much. I question too much. And I refuse to apologize for my behavior anymore. Aren't I the rebellious one? That's fine. I learn long ago to let go of my ego. I honestly don't care what people think of me. My children are not ashamed of who they are. It is much healthier for them. I'm proud of them, not ashamed of them like my parents were of me.

I do my best to avoid both.

I guess I would want to focus on letting go of guilt and shame. These are hot button words. I'd prefer if parents would focus on teaching children right from wrong and if you do wrong, how can you alleviate what you did and also understanding how wrong action has cause and effect often in a very negative way

Any is too much.