Agnostic.com

9 2

Unbalanced relationships

Is it true that in any relationship, one person is always more "into it" (endeared, more ready to move to the next stage sooner, initiating more of the contacts, eager sooner to spread the good news, etc) than the other?
If so, which role do you prefer?
Does it flip flop between the two often?

CallMeDave 8 May 27
Share

Enjoy being online again!

Welcome to the community of good people who base their values on evidence and appreciate civil discourse - the social network you will enjoy.

Create your free account

9 comments

Feel free to reply to any comment by clicking the "Reply" button.

0

As far as relationships go I've been the one less into more often than there other way. As far as a guy a guy wanting to be with me, but we aren't even dating that's usually the same. I think twice-Once in a relationship and once in an interest that "could"have become a relationship I was more into it.

For example I had two men ask me to marry them. I was on board with it at first, but then backed up. Turns out I was my gut was right...different reasons. I also don't say I love you easily.

1

No, in some relationships, the partners take turns being that person. Sometimes, they will have different roles and reactions to different situations. Generalizations are hardly ever accurate when it comes to relationships.

1

I love open and abundant affection and dive right in hoping for the best. Maybe its why I hurt so much when I am not the center of my lovers world. I think I am always the one who is more in to it.

Nardi Level 7 May 28, 2018
1

For me, I tend to feel things very deeply very quickly. But I’m not great at showing emotion or communicating feelings. So I think I come across as cold or not as far along with how I’m feeling when it’s not the case at all. I just need a little more time to feel safe. I also rarely let go of feelings. We can break up but I’m likely going to love and care for you and be there for you forever. Our relationship may change but that doesn’t mean that our connection has to cease completely. I can’t just turn things off. Not sure I’d want to.

I think it’s fine for people to develop at different paces and I have never discounted a relationship because I felt I was behind or ahead. I just thought we would catch up to each other eventually.

Are you a Virgo by chance?

@Nardi yes. Wow. I am.

@Christiep77 don't you think that if you had a new lover that hanging on to feelings for previous love interests might generate distrust and jealousy with a current lover or would you just do it in secret? The reason I ask is that I am with a virgo woman right now and would like an insight.

@MissKathleen thanks i appreciate what you've said.

1

Boy, this is almost as tough as the "chicken and the egg" dilemma. I have found myself on both sides of the coin. Both really suck, in my opinion. Unrequited love is extremely heart-wrenching for the one who is "all in"; However, being on the other side is no cake walk either. I found myself in the latter predicament many years into my marriage with 3 children, and I just didn't have the same feelings as I did when we first met in college as "kids". Horrible feeling. Lots of guilt, resentment, and so on. There is really no easy way out of that. I can't say I would "prefer" being in either position. But I do feel that it is a situation that many couples find themselves in.

Is there any truth to the "Seven Year Itch"? read/heard about where Men create a family and then wanderlust strikes,or another Woman to meet,woo and maybe marry is another conquest?

0

I generally hold things back and like to take em slowly.

2

Should be equal or won't last.

1

Thats true... i think it bounced back and forth for me and my wife. I could be wrong.

2

Well unless you're dating a robot, I imagine people will arrive at different points at different times.

Write Comment
You can include a link to this post in your posts and comments by including the text q:92072
Agnostic does not evaluate or guarantee the accuracy of any content. Read full disclaimer.