I've been here for three days now and already you have all made me fee so welcome. I feel like part of the family. And that's a wonderful feeling I feel more at home here than I do on my own Facebook page.
Here's something that I shared on my Facebook timeline a few years ago. And, ,since I feel so comfortable with you all in this space,, I wanted to share it here as well. Hopefully this will give you some deeper insight into my personality besides my sense of humor. My feelings run very deep. I'm a sappy emotional guy And when something hits me, I write about it.This was something that I just really needed to express at that time.
A short time ago, my youngest son came out to me and told me that he is bisexual.
Here's what I hate about that:
I hate that he felt we even needed to have that conversation.
I hate that we had to have this discussion over the phone because we are more than 800 miles apart.
I hate that having this conversation was more difficult for him than it was for me.
I hate that I couldn't just give him a hug.
I hate that he didn't already know me well enough as his father that he had to fear what my reaction would be.
I hate that he couldn't look me in the eye and know without a doubt that it was true when I told him that it doesn't change how I feel about him.
Here's what I love about that:
I love that he is comfortable enough in his own skin to tell people who he is.
I love that he is comfortable enough at 19 to have that conversation with me. It makes me feel that perhaps I did do some things right along the way.
I love that he doesn't really give a shit what anyone else thinks.
I love that he loves himself.
I love that all of his friends and family so far feel the same way I do.
I love that, with all of the struggles he's had so far in life, this didn't have to be another one.
I love him.
Some of my family may not know any of this yet. And some of them may be a bit bothered by the fact that I posted this here before having the discussion about it with them.
But, here's the thing about that...
If it made any difference to me regarding him, I would have talked with all of you first. But, it doesn't. It's no more important than if I had bought a new set of tires for my car. I wouldn't make a special effort to tell you about that either.
If I made a special effort to talk to my family members about this well, that would pretty much prove that I felt it was important... but it's not.
The only reason that I even bother to post it here is so that he will know how much I love him. So he will know that I support who he is as an individual and that everything I said to him is true.
The things that we, as a collective people throughout the world, put importance on really baffle me. Race, gender, religion, sexual preference... it's really all very ridiculous.
Here is what I think we should be focused on. We're all here for a relatively short span of time. Get over the differences and embrace the fact that we are all essentially the same.
We all somehow manage to love our own children unconditionally but, we can't seem to do the same for everyone else. We're all connected in a similar fashion. We need to take care of each other.
To you my son:
Science has discovered that everything in the universe really is nothing more than strings vibrating at the sub-atomic level. Vibration is sound... tones... music. So, the whole of life is really just music. It's a huge symphony being played out across the cosmos. And each of us gets to improvise the part we play in that opus however we choose. So, play the melody you wish the world to hear from you.
...and play it fucking loud.
I love you.
My late partner and I were visiting her son at his college. He told her, mom I have 2 things to tell you; one I have decided to quit school and, two, I am gay. She looked at him in shock and said "you want to quit school?" He asked if she heard him she said yes he wants to quit school, and didn't care for the gay thing. He cried and hugged her (she was from Iran). Later he decided to turn in his Eagle award that she worked on so hard to help him with. She was proud of his decision. We termed our relationship as partners as a way to support him and his partner.
Thanks for sharing @Duke. We've all shared a lot with each other on this awesome site. One of my proudest achievements in my life was establiishing a LBGT introduction service 20 years ago named Rainbow Circle of Friends. We are a multi-cultural, open-minded people here.
Congratulation on being a wonderful human being!
I want you to know that your son may have had the conversation with you "long distance" because he only actually accepted it himself and was far from you. Know that he did know you well enough to know you would still feel the same about him as before. Know that you may be the strength in his life and whenever he is feeling challenged he reaches out to you. When my brother "came out" ( and I knw he was gay before he did). He called me from 300 miles away. Later when I asked him why he did not tell me face to face3 - those were his reasons.
I think they were the same for your son
About what you said to your son... brought me back to my son passing me as the best dancer in the family. Curiously I had been divorced for 17 years after 19 years of marriage and my ex and me dance better now than we ever did when together, if we would had danced that well back then... we may still be married and then again dancing was not what separated us. It was my love for freedom and individuality and the long separations due my job in the Navy. Anyways... your Son has a Great Mentor... WELCOME, YOU ARE HOME.
Bravo Dad! What a beautiful expression of love! We need more parents like you in the world. (It breaks my heart when I hear about parents that don't accept their children for who they are.)
For the first time, in a long time, I don't feel alone with this fun group. Happy you've joined us!
I get you but he is miles away and it is fantastic that he felt comfortable telling you. sometimes you have to tell someone and that someone is you.brilliant I say. as for anyone else in your circle I think it's up to your son to tell or not tell them when he is ready.