US Admits UFO Sightings Have Been an Ordinary Event for Years
In a stunning new 60 Minutes report from CBS, former military and government officials say that the acceleration of UFO sightings, especially by our military personnel, are driving UFO investigations out of the closet and into the mainstream. This includes Sen. Marco Rubio (R-Fla.), who tells 60 Minutes that “Anything that enters our airspace that’s not supposed to be there, is a threat.”
Well, that may or may not be true Marco, but in my mind - you and your Republican pals are a much greater threat to civilization than any UFO could ever be. Of course, the Republican response to anything like this is basically always the same “if we can't eat it, commercialize it, or have sex with it - then we need to kill it.” Luckily for our Republican friends, we now have those Jewish space lasers to help ward them off.
I mean, just to hear the way Republicans describe it, these UFOs are nothing more than a bunch of extraterrestrial, commie thugs - who are being sent here to take away our AR-15s, help BLM burn down Portland, abort our babies, spread a vile doctrine of gender equality and interplanetary socialism, and tax all our billionaires.
Meanwhile, Democrats are claiming they have irrefutable proof aliens have been living among us for some time now. And, to prove their point, they argue that our last President was actually an inexplicable “orangish creature,” with hair unlike that of any other human that exists on the planet. And, let us not forget that Trump’s legal eagle Rudy Giuliani, was caught right on camera - with what appeared to be motor oil leaking directly from his skull. What more proof do you need?
Now, some of you may ask “just why in the hell do these UFO spacecraft never seem to make so much as even a sonic boom?” Could it possibly be that these “aliens” still haven’t even figured out how to travel faster than the “speed of sound” yet? On the other hand - and much more likely - we probably haven’t heard their sonic booms, because these sneaky bastards have much better “mufflers” than we do.
Then, of course, there’s always the question as to why UFO videos and photographs always seem to be so damn “grainy” looking. Come on now! These videos were taken by some of our most sophisticated, high-tech aircraft! I mean, why the hell is it that whenever aliens do show up, there never seems to be even a halfway decent camera around?
But, all that aside, I have my own theory. I mean, hasn’t anyone even considered that just maybe - planet Earth is only a stopover for these aliens - and that they’re only just here to pick up some coffee and doughnuts? Either that, or maybe they just need to clean off their damn windshields.
Hell, suppose they’re simply here filming some sort of intergalactic reality show called - “Earth!” Who knows? One thing I do know is, these UFO sightings are not gonna stop any time soon, at least not until we all agree to get the hell off this planet. Now, where the hell is that Elon Musk when we need him?
Any beings evolved enough to reach our planet are going to be as evolved in comparison to us as we are to rhesus macaque monkeys. We have nothing to offer them other than our meat and the resources left in our planet. We aren't even cute enough to exhibit in cages in their zoos. It won't be pretty.