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Russian Orthodox Church Leader Injured Slipping On Holy Water

Russian Orthodox Church Patriarch Kiril, an outspoken homophobic who has also been sanctioned for his support of Vladimir Putin’s deadly war in Ukraine, was caught on video falling and injuring his back after slipping on “Holy Water” during a recent religious ceremony. According to a 2009 Forbes article, Kiril’s wealth was estimated to be between $4 and $8 billion.

Oh my God! Now, THAT was a real knee slapper. The Lord sure works in hilarious ways. Guess “Holy Water on a slippery floor” is kind of God’s answer to that old classic “slip on a banana peel” routine. Bet that hurt like “hell.” Why, the only thing missing in this video, are some “whistling sound effects” as he slides across the chapel floor.

Now, if I were Patriarch Kiril, I think I’d be a little more cautious about all that hate spewing out that big fat mouth of his. After all, next time - it might be a fucking lightning bolt. In fact, rumor has that as he fell, Kiril was heard muttering under his breath “goddamned slippery holy water! This hurts like a son-of-a-bitch!”

Now, for those of you who say, “There is nothing funny about this poor Russian Patriarch slipping and falling,” just remember “what happens to Kiril - is God’s will.” Next up on God’s TikTok channel - a bishop choking on a communion wafer, and video of a snake-handling Pentecostal preacher getting bitten by a rattlesnake!

*If you’ve enjoyed what you’ve just read, please consider joining me at😘 [johnnyrobish.medium.com]

johnnyrobish 8 June 26
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3 comments

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1

why when I look on that picture does my imagination start playing the theme to Rupaul's Drag Race in my earhole?

0

Nope, I am a loyal Vatican rapist ready to do my Gilead state duties with HANDmaids with flashing pink ovulation mucus lube lights ...doncha luv US Sup Ct patriarchy breeding for da fatherland ??

5

Karma works in wonderful ways sometimes!

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