Televangelist Claims Sex with Cows Will Be Legal If Biden Wins

Televangelist Frank Amedia, is warning followers that they’d better vote for Donald Trump and the Republicans in the upcoming election, or Joe Biden’s liberal agenda will take hold and the next thing you know, everyone will be having “perverse sex with cows.”

Now, some of you may laugh, but I get his point. As a bona fide “Donald Trump Christian,” Pastor Amedia feels we need to take the country back to its moral foundations. You know, back to the days when we had respect for the institution of marriage, and men only cheated on their wives - not on their livestock!

Come to think of it, guess that pretty much explains why conservatives are always advocating for “herd immunity.” I mean, let us not forget that Mary had a little lamb. The last thing Mary needs now, is for some liberal like Joe Biden to steer her toward other barnyard animals.

Now, what I don’t get is, why evangelicals are so worried Biden’s gonna try and hook us all up with cows, yet they ignore the fact that Melania is actually married to a damn pig. Don’t they understand her reputation’s at steak? Anyway, I’d better quit while I’m ahead - otherwise, I’m likely to continue milking this joke, till the cows come home.

[johnnyrobishcomedy.com]