Exactly

No one deserves abuse .. unfortunately some people have ONLY lived abused lives and don't know any better. Working on your personal self worth can be hard when all you have left is a shell. Compassion and empathy is key.

There is a cycle to abuse and one of the first steps is to convince the abused that they need the abuser, whether financially,emotionally or physically. Only after this "need" is established does the abuse begin. This is one of the major reasons abused people struggle to leave their abusers, they've been extensively brainwashed.

@Sirena The last time she broke up with him she had 2-3 guys interested in her. The guy was a former friend of mine. Assaulted me twice. First time wasn't cool, but he's the type that makes it seems like he is really sorry, and won't happen again. Last time someone saw me coming out of his house covered in blood. The police found me. He was arrested within hours. He has a long history of violence.

Saddest part is that her 6 year old has to see this shit frequently. That kid is already fucked up.

@TheGreatShadow as @OpposingOpposum it's a cycle. The victim needs to be able to see that they don't need the abuser and that they deserve better. Going from one relationship to another won't fix anything either. It is sad, very sad. And a lot of times children see more than they should. I hope she finds the strengh within herserlf and peers to seek help. It's never easy. An abuser can convince you of so much bullshit once you are under their control.

@OpposingOpposum I think in this instance it's the financial part. Known both of them for a few years. I got my restraining order extended to one year. Comes anywhere close to here...

@Sirena She already has had several friends tell her to get out (including me). Lead a horse to water...

@TheGreatShadow I get what you are saying. I'm glad you tried. Denial is strong. In the end no one deserves abuse. It took me 15 years to realize my relationship was toxic. That doesn't mean I was any less of a person.

@Sirena It's sad to say that a lot of people won't chime in on this case (still pending trial). Almost anyone that has seen him violent won't make a written or verbal statement. One friend I had asked for a statement said he was working on it. Kept asking. Police came over to my house (5th time for this instance) and they had to go find him. I wasn't going to report the incident myself, but if like I say, the police found me, not the other way around. I decided to man up and release my medical records, give statements.

I don't know why his dad keeps on bailing his ass out. He is a 4 time felon! The 3th time the police came to see me was at my dads. Two officers came into the house (I let them in). Dad was there. They had video cameras on their shirts (standard procedure). My dad served from 1965-1971; certified Expert in pistol and rifle. He told both of the officers "if he comes to my house I'll fucking kill him". He Hardly swears.

The guy I'm talking about is a "bad hombre". If it's not me who's next, who is?

@TheGreatShadow I hope he gets what he deserves.

@Sirena As of right now it's class III assault. If it turns into a felony, it's life in prison (not jail), baby!

There's a lot of psychology there. But certainly she isn't going back because she wants to be beaten.

@Kojaksmom She must flat out not care about herself, or her son. Everyone has the right to destroy themselves, but dragging another (a small child) is far different.

@TheGreatShadow understanding and respecting ones own rights as a person precede understanding and respecting others' rights. I'll go out on a limb and say she doesn't know that she and her son deserve better. Likely, she assumes all men behave that way and doesn't want to trafe one abuser for another.

@OpposingOpposum Im most worried about the kid. He's already fucked up. I've had to call ex military twice because of his behavior. I myself have had to. I'm not dealing with that shit any more.

@TheGreatShadow that's true, people are screwed up. Most should not have kids at all.

@Kojaksmom Is't it fuy how that works? She doest have custody of her daughter, ad I've oly see her oece. She is also a felo. Yes, my keyoard is stickig FYI. Dum people are reedig faster tha itelliget people...

@TheGreatShadow It is not just low self esteem or low self confidence or a cycle of abuse. The most dangerous time for an abused woman is when she leaves. There is a high proportion of women beaten or killed when they finally do leave for good. Hence why safe houses are usually in secret locations not known by the public at large. There are a host of variables explored and sometimes survival and safety for oneself or one's child (as in better abused than dead) or being financially dependent and otherwise being homeless or starving are sometimes why women stay. Check out this video for further context:

@demifeministgal He isn't allowed at her apartment. If the landlord sees him, he's getting arrested. I told her to get a restraining order. I have two against him. First one the court gave automatically when he went to jail (only lasts 2-3 months). I went to court and had it extended to one year.