Best friends – the Rabbi and the priest
They were planning to go out for a few drinks, so the Rabbi went over to see if the priest was ready.
The priest said, "I have to hear confessions for about one-half hour, but unfortunately I just got a call about a parishioner who needs last rites."
It seemed they would have to cancel their night out until the priest had a bright idea "here's how we can speed things up. Hearing confessions just means I sit in a small dark booth, then the parishioner comes up, gets into a little booth next to mine, I open a screened window and then hear the confession. It's very simple to do and there is a back door to the confessional. So why don't you come into the confessional with me, while I hear a couple of confessions, then I will slip out the back door and go visit the parishioner who needs last rites while you hear the remainder of the confessions."
The Rabbi said "gosh I've never done this before . I am really not sure about this."
His friend said "Here's how it goes: after you slide the panel, the parishioner will say 'Bless me father for I have sinned, these are my sins,' then will tell me what the sins were, then I assign the penance and say 'go and sin no more.' It is that simple."
The Rabbi says "okay, let me squeeze in and hear you do a couple before you leave."
They both entered the booth, the first parishioner came in, the priest slid the panel over, And the Parishioner Said "bless me father for I have sinned and these are my sins. I committed adultery three times."
The priest said "say three our fathers, three Hail Marys, and put five dollars in the collection basket. Go and sin no more."
After the parishioner left, the next one came in and said "bless me father for I have sinned and these are my sins. I committed adultery three times."
Again, the priest said "say three our fathers, three Hail Marys, and put five dollars in the collection basket. Go and sin no more."
After the second parishioner left, the Rabbi agreed that hearing confessions seemed simple enough, so the priest snuck out the back door and left the Rabbi alone in the booth.
Shortly, a parishioner entered the confessional, the Rabbi slid the panel, and the parishioner said "bless me father for I have sinned and these are my sins. I committed adultery one time."
The Rabbi replied "go and do it two more times. We have a special this week – three for five dollars."