Does it make your children happy to have the opportunity to acknowledge their father on father's day? If so, you're doing it for them and how anyone may interpret it doesn't matter. They're happy - isn't that why we do what we do? You're setting a positive example - isn't that also why we do what we do?

In our family we stopped wearing these special days like an albatross around our necks. The relife is tangible. We love each other but don't feel the need to celebrate Hallmark day because were told to. If we do buy for each other it's when we stumble across something WE KNOW the recipient will be happy to have. Whatever time of year.

Some folks really don't put much stock in token gifts , and most likely wouldn't care if they stopped . It means much more to others . To them , it's a method of validating themselves and their relationship . It's as if , by not celebrating what ever moment of thoughtfulness has been indicated , means that you don't value the person to be honored . Ask yourself , does he treat you well ? Does he meet his responsibilities towards you and your family ? Is that missing card really that important ? Does he make you happy in other ways ?

It makes you a better Person, but the point is ..that it teaches the kids the importance of honouring their parents..there is nothing wrong with buying a gift or even a card just to show their appreciation.

I know these are Hallmark days..but what's the harm if the kids want to do it..and the parent in question deserves to be honoured in this way...

Maybe that is the real question...is he a good father and a lousy husband?

Does he put a roof over your head? Food on the table? Perhaps he is busy working while you have free time to go shopping. Marriage is a partnership...each has different roles to make the family whole.

Did you know that Mothers' day is on a different day in the UK from the USA?

18 years ago Mothers' day in the UK was just a little while after my Mum had just suddenly and unexpectedly died. Whereas Mothers' day in the USA was a few months later when I was on a business trip to Boston. I built up a certain resentment for Mothers' day. This resentment stayed. I got married and had a child and was expected to buy mothers day gifts and cards on behalf of a who had no idea what was going on. Of course wasn't my wife's fault that the thought of Mothers day was like a punch to the solar plexus so of course I sucked it up and did my best, I suppressed the bitterness. We had two more children and it was only this year now the eldest is 10 and twins are 8 that they are really getting into it. Finally I can take them out and they can make thoughtful decisions on their own about gifts that their Mum would like. Finally I was able to get through Mothers' day without gritting my teeth and in the celebrations rather than looking in from the outside. I had a good Mothers' day this year. First time in way too long.

I did the same thing for years; not for my ex, but because it made my kids happy to have a gift for her.

No.
YOU.... are being a great mom. You're not doing this for your ex. You're doing this for your children.

Maybe you can have them make something, instead of buying. Explain to them that they don't have to spend to do something nice. Help them make a handmade card, etc. That way they can do the same for you.

Do they get pocket ?

Think you are doing what the best parents do you are helping your children achieve a goal to relay the love they offer to their dad.