So, my wife and I have six sons. My wife has good genes I guess, because she doesn't exercise and she looks like she's never had a single baby or ever put on any weight (she's between 120 and 130 after our 6th son and she's 5'7" ).
So, she takes our baby into one of our other sons schools to check him out of school and an old, heavy lady, in school says to her, and I quote "oh, my god, you are so thin! That's disgusting!" Now, I know she meant that in a GOOD way because my wife is sexy as hell so she could have meant it no other way...maybe jealous, maybe just "disgusted" at the thought that she can have so many babies and still look so good...
But my wife and I got to talking, and I asked her..."I wonder how she would have felt had you said something like, "oh, my god, you are so fat!. That's disgusting!" Why would THAT comment be considered "offensive" but not the tables reversed as the older lady did to my wife?
We're living in a world where women have been fucked badly by societal "norms" and "expectations" that even women can't be kind, considerate, polite and "accepting" of one another regardless of how their bodies might look.
We just found it ironic and sad that someone can call her "so thin" and "disgusting" and that's "socially OK" somehow, but if you take the word "thin" out and replace it with the opposite word, "fat", it's suddenly a problem.
Just a vent.
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9 comments
Feel free to reply to any comment by clicking the "Reply" button.Very interesting comment my daughter,28, hasn't got the "disgusting" yet but nasty comments on her figure she is petite and very well proportions: 45 kg/158 cm (whatever that translates into in your world). She works with a girl who is 4 years her junior, of similar, but slams a whopping 130 kg on the poor scare.
What is nowadays labeled "big and beautiful" used to be called "fat".
I am fat, 74 kg/163 cm, and I admit it.
PontifexMarximus
Level 8
June 14, 2018
1
I think the only reason it's become "socially OK" as you claim is because we don't speak up the moment something like that is said. Each of us, on a case by case basis should do our small part to lessen the impact & frequency of judgemental, stigmatizing comments. A good way to begin the process of changing what is considered a societal norm, is to do exactly what you've done by writing this post.
Artisan1992
Level 5
June 14, 2018
1
Because when comparing the two sentences the same word has different meanings. In the description above you state that it was meant and taken ironically. In the other, there's little room for that interpretation.
MattHardy
Level 7
June 13, 2018
0
Incorrect. I didn't say anywhere in my write-up that my wife didn't take offense to it, or find it insulting - in fact, she did. What I stated is how "I" perceived it...the woman gave no explanation, and my wife found it odd that she (or her body in whatever shape it's in) would be referred too as "disgusting"...so she was actually offended. I wasn't, but that's not the point. The "irony" was in how it's "OK" to call someone disgustingly skinny, but not disgustingly fat.
@Faithless1 I'm not my wife. What part do you people not understand? Just because I know what it meant doesn't mean it's how she took it. Being called disgusting is disgusting... Regardless of how the comment is intended, where body image is concerned.
@Faithless1 Your comment is baseless and useless. Thanks. Just because you, or someone you know who is heavy and hears it doesn't mean it's OK when said to you, but it doesn't somehow make it any "less" derogatory when flipped. Nice try though.
@Faithless1 She was offended, so it honestly doesn't matter how YOU feel about it. You don't like being called fat and disgusting (if applicable), and she doesn't like being called skinny and disgusting. There's no difference. An insult taken, is an insult given.
@Faithless1 here's a compliment for you. You're fat and it's so disgusting! Big deal! That ain't so bad...so, suck it up.
It's an "envious" comment.
Your right! It feels great now! Thanks!
@Clauddvon My apologies. I'd misread "But my wife and I got to talking" to mean that your wife and the "old heavy lady" got talking... I got the details wrong.
I'm sorry to hear that your wife was in fact offended. Obviously I wasn't party to the tone or context of the comment and so I can't offer an opinion on whether it was meant that way.
So if it was not taken in that sense the most I can say is the there was room for that interpretation.
@Faithless1 One never knows...
The adjective "Fat" has always been an insult when aiming it at people.
GodlessFred
Level 6
June 13, 2018
0
From what I can tell, perhaps she just said it in a joking manner, instead of seriously. But I see what you mean. If she had said "fat", it would have been taken as an insult. Makes you wonder how we got to this point.
Tomfoolery33
Level 9
June 13, 2018
2
A lot of women think it's alright to skinny-shame. And that is shaming, even if she meant it in a good way. It's not okay at all. As if just because she's skinny she shouldn't get offended. An "omg, I can't believe you've had 6 kids. You're beautiful" may have worked better.
Like the comedian Monique. Almost all of her comedy routines were making fun of skinny women, what does she turn around and do? Lose weight. So what the hell was all that skinny shaming about and pro-fat jokes about? People are so full of crap.
Just let people be. Skinny women also struggle and if they don't struggle and it comes easy, then don't try to tear them down. Use it as motivation.
dani2382
Level 5
June 13, 2018
2
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