What works and what floats your boat.

I would have loved to be a house husband, my ex just up and stopped working and refused to go back, her argument was that is the reason she got married so she didn't have to work. Compromise, kids and I left when they were old enough to choose and I raised them as a single dad, unfortunately this meant working long hours, lots of hour at night working from home, but my employer was as helpful as possible, I never missed a single event in my kids school lives and they never came home to an empty house. Things can be awkward, I have dated wealthy women who insist the man pays, I try and be chivalrous, polite and so on, I open doors, I lift the heavy stuff, pay for the 1st meal when starting to date a lady, I give the excuse that I pay when we are out because it is more likely that the lady does the home cooked meal. That has almost NEVER happened. Don't get me wrong, I have no objection to the lady paying after the 1st date, and in all of my longer term relationships, it has been the lady who instigated the relationship and sex. I don't have any problems with this.

I am of two minds about this. I believe that when children are below the age of 17 a child should have full time access to either their mother or father. Whomever stays home with the kids. Men are just as capable to being the nurturing caregiver just like woman are capable of serving in a battle. My 2nd part of that, is if the kids are functioning young adults and are gaining their independence then there is no reason the woman can't join the workforce. She could help build a nest egg for their retirement. Or simply just expand her horizons and meet new people. Seriously, what is she going to do when the kids are grown and gone?

There is some grace in knowing what you want.

I would love to be a stay at home mom. But, working is what I have to do for my family to survive. I feel it's whatever is best for you that matters the most. I've worked since I was 15, so it's just part of who I am.

I spent 25+ years as a stay at home mom. We also moved frequently (ex was military, and I was when we married.) I did not have skills for a good job, so staying home with the kids was a good choice for us. I should have started taking college courses when we finally had the stability of a metropolitan area and children in school, however I put it off. I hit the point where I knew the marriage had to end and I had to be ready so I got an Associate's degree. I wish I had gone further, but hindsight is 20/20. My girls (I don't have sons) were encouraged to get their degree and get a job as in this day and age it is hard to have a one income family. I think each couple needs to make that decision, and child care is frightfully expensive. And there is nothing wrong with a stay at home dad.

To each their own, I guess. I, personally, used to want this but after being a sort of 'house wife' to my ex of three years...I can safely say, NO THANK YOU. I like to work. I like to have my own money. I like to have a routine and a schedule outside of my home. I also find that I get really very annoyed if I'm the ONLY one doing any sort of housework and such even if I'm not working- I still feel everything should be very egalitarian and shared.

I/we, are in that mold. Although within today's still developing type of economic structure for middle and lower class, that type of structured home life is for the most part is unsustainable. Mary however as you referred to, does both. What a blessing I got in her 4 years ago! After decades of bad relationship after bad relationship. I hope you're able to find a good man that has the ability to take you within your desired life style and find the best of times together. With that said though. At your age it's not likely to come soon. Search well and be very attentive to the nature of potential prospects. The history of most here would tell you, you have many relationships to trial before you actually find a good one. My trials took me to 51 before I found Mary. Sometimes I wish I had this advice and understood it earlier in my life sometimes. But better late than never!

I see some hard comments below. Her claim to having no skills doesn't imply she doesn't plan on having any all her life. She obviously would develop skills as parenting alone. She can also develop skills as she attends school meetings as she meets others leading to a well of other aspects. She could very well become the next best politician in her area through this type of parenting. These types of women use to form some of the best localities across America during our best times! Something we as a nation should get back to in my opinion. Something out of Glass House>>> You had a core of college-educated, sophisticated people who made good livings working right downtown at the corner of Broad and Main Street, and more importantly, in some ways, their wives — remember this is '40s, '50s, '60s and into the '70s — their wives typically didn't work at a career-type job outside the home. They threw themselves into the town. So they did hospital benefits, they did benefits for preserving the old Antebellum homes in Lancaster, they did vaccination drives, they made sure the sidewalks got repaired, the streets got paved, they attended city council meetings. This was a core of civic leadership.>>> A book from Brian Alexander on the city of Lancaster Ohio. An interview with and NPR program. [npr.org] No, it's not for every today's woman with the entrapment of the ending story in his book or the city of Lancaster. But there is still a presence and desire for some women who feel the urge to serve society in this nature.

I've always been independent and career minded. Had a baby at 42 after raising 12 year old with cp. Worked part-time with baby. You could be a home health care worker-some agencies will pay for LNA -licensed nurse asst, you could work in a day care center-its easy to pick up skills. Have faith in yourself.

Well, I'm gonna be called a misogynist for this, even though I believe this only applies to the woman that I want, I could care less about what other women do who aren't mine.

I do believe in traditional roles. A man should be the bread winner and a women should take care of the household after they have had children. Why should I work all day and then have to come home and take care of the house? If taking care of the kids and house are too much, maybe she shouldn't have wanted to be a stay at home mom? Go out, get a good job and I'll stay at home, I think it's pretty easy. Was with a lazy girl once who only worked 20h a week, she left the house destroyed and let her kids do whatever. After working all day I'd take care of the kids and clean the house. Guess what? They never made a mess while I was there, because why? Discipline and actually watching them instead of letting them do whatever the hell they wanted to. Not something I'd ever go back to, I'm not gonna bust my ass all day at a good paying job just to come home and play maid. So ya, get a good job and kids can go to day care and we can split the chores, otherwise if you're not gonna work a real job then you best keep the house in order at all times.

Just my 2 cents.

I don’t have a preference, because I don’t have a wife ????????, let alone a GF. I couldn’t say, but i’d probably let her do whatever she wants to do so long as things in life are going well and we are happy. As long as she is being productive in her life and pursuing a passion that she loves, and we are filling each others weaknesses like a team, and if the financial situation is good to go then I have no problems.