The foulest word in the the English language: Cancer;
I try to be a positive person, and I am a strong woman in so many ways. Right now, I am feeling broken. A friend that has been fighting cancer is losing her battle. She and I walked into this fight together in 2016. I’m glad I kicked ass, but I almost feel guilty because here she is back fighting, and losing. I keep seeing her family and friends on Facebook requesting prayers and I can’t even respond. I needed to vent. It’s almost 2 am and the silence is deafening with no one to get this off my chest to. I am pissed and broken. This disease is relentless with no discrimination. Fuck cancer. (Idk what category to post this under)
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Feel free to reply to any comment by clicking the "Reply" button.Post it under compassion (we'll invent a category if need be). Take strength from the mutual love expressed here (and take care of yourself first and foremost). ❤
SimonCyrene
Level 7
June 22, 2018
4
i lost my wife of almost 36 years to endometrial cancer in december 2016. the preceding 2 1/2 years were the worst id ever experienced, till the day she died, then the gates of hell opened and ive been struggling to get out since.
i can find no good to say about any of that experience; there is no silver lining. the possible exception might be the people who stepped in to hold me and my kids up, to keep us connected to the world and each other. beyond that, nothing.
I also can't say ive gained any wisdom from that experience; i don't know what all the stages of denial or acceptance are but im sure i experienced them all, and likely almost simultaneously (kinda like sally field in mrs. doubtfire when she finds out thats her husband!), so ive been burned out emotionally for a while now. i don't seem to get excited by much, though i do seem to cry at the stupidest things.
All i think i learned from this is that cancer sucks; it sucks the life out of the victim and all those who love them.
Truly, fuck cancer.
R'amen!
RidingAlone
Level 6
June 22, 2018
3
So sorry for your loss-still trying tofigure out how two famous women with the same cancer didn't make it but I did -Mary Travers of Peter, Paul and Mary and Susan Butcher, the perennial Iditerod champ. They died while I went through a bone marrow transplant.
@sassygirl3869 seems to me that the treatment protocols vary by region, hospital and even by doctor. i had zero understanding of any of the processes involved and that just fed into my rage after her initial diagnosis (and i was in such a rage, not knowing who i had to kill to make my wife better, or even who to talk to to learn anything about cancer). one thing i did learn: sugar feeds cancer. i got that from the doc who did a scan before surgery (following 6 chemo runs): 'we give the cancer a glucose drip and it reveals itself'.
I had nochoice. Sent to an oncologist after mybloodwork. told start chemo or you're dead in 3 weeks. Shock therapy. Sedated and shipped in ambulance to Dartmouth Medical Center-my home for 3 years,on and off. .
@sassygirl3869 wow! I'm glad you survived that ordeal. Not sure I could've.
Cancer is hideous in so many ways but in particular for the fact it is composed of cells that are our own which makes it hard to understand and treat successfully since almost every case is fundamentally unique.
Take comfort on the fact that every biopsy and analysis feeds research to find preventions and a cure.
Being pissed and broken confirms your a compassionate human. Cancer does not discriminate. You know what to say in support and if need be, support your friend towards the end of her human life.
Lukian
Level 8
June 22, 2018
2
I totally hear and feel you. Cancer is a hideous disease. I hate it so much. It has hit many of the people I know and has taken a few of them, including my mum and friends. It is relentless and the constant fighting is so tiring/draining/weakening. I am glad you vented here. Please feel free to continue to do so. Much love and hugs from NZ.
Mofferatu
Level 7
June 22, 2018
1
Yeah, cancer sucks balls. All we can do is hang in there and try to be the best friend we can be. Cherish the memories with our close or loved ones. It’s a horrible thing to go through, but in the end you’ll be glad you stuck it out. It’s okay to be angry and to vent, life is cruel sometimes. I wish you the best.
sirmcchris
Level 3
June 22, 2018
2
I'm treating cancer with cannabis oil and even though I've not been able to obtain very much of it, it's still working!
Landmark Study Shows Half of Cancer Patients are Killed by Chemo — NOT Cancer [thefreethoughtproject.com]
BBC News - Growing evidence that cannabis oil can cure serious diseases like cancer [bbc.com]
birdingnut
Level 8
June 22, 2018
3
Are you following little Billy Caldwell's story? Change is coming. Keep fighting. Much love from N. Ireland ❤
@SimonCyrene So glad that his mom is bringing change to the U.K. stance on cannabis. It should be decriminalized worldwide.
We have a Cancer Group if you need to vent. You didn't say which cancer. I am a 5 year survivor of the worst Leukemia-AML. Live with side effects.
sassygirl3869
Level 9
June 22, 2018
2
Sorry.
You’ll get through this eventually and live in peace and joy. All our bodies are temporary by design so it’s ok to suffer and die.
WilliamFleming
Level 8
June 22, 2018
1
Cancer sucks. My mom died of colon cancer. My dad from lung cancer. My oldest sister from a brain tumor. My other two sisters have had minor (in comparison!) cancers that were treated successfully. I'm just a boy whistling in the dark trying to keep up my spirits.
This is probably not appropriate but when my friends or family are sick and people are offering prayers I often write "I'm casting secular healing and wellness incantations in your general direction. Love you!" But they know me and my proclivities and so it tends to go over OK. Not sure it would in this case.
I hope things work out as well as they possibly can for your friend and her family.
Bikes4Fish
Level 7
June 23, 2018
1
I'm so sorry for your pain. My daughter has had cancer twice. FIrst time it was hodgkins, second time breast cancer. It all happened before she was thirty. She is doing very well and feels victorious over it. Please talk about your pain whenever you can, don't let it get the best of you. At this point all you can do is be there for her. I send you and your friend lots of loving thoughts
AmelieMatisse
Level 8
June 22, 2018
1
I know your pain . My older sister and I went through cancer together I made it she didn’t. My 2nd sister lost to cancer a year apart. Her last words to me were “be happy no matter what it takes.” I cry for her every day. At least her friends knew not to pray for her but to visit her with stories of fun times in their lives with her. A good book to read “ when bad things happen to good people “
Bird
Level 2
June 22, 2018
1
Sorry for your loss cancer took grandma and last month took mom. Hope you feel better
DavidAckerman
Level 5
June 22, 2018
1
I use diet to try and prevent cancer. (Not all types of cancer are the same, I realise.)
I avoid dairy and meat, and do other things too. I had an uncle, who was famous for his love of dairy. He died of breast cancer in the 70s.
Ellatynemouth
Level 8
June 22, 2018
0
that's pretty much anecdotal but it is your choice.
Have you read the link?
@Ellatynemouth yes I did. I was referring to the uncle-breast cancer-dairy link. There is so much mixed signals in cancer prevention in any event and this article does not help.
Avoiding dairy often results in calorie restriction (less obesity) hence a possible deterrent to cancer. If dairy was actually a cancer factor many European countries would be swamped with cancer i.e. Switzerland but that is not the case.
Like I mentioned above Steve Jobs a rich vegan (that would buy the best of all foods) was unable to prevent getting cancer nor cure it when modern medecine could have (yes an anecdote)
the following list would be reliable in my opinion:
[cancer.gov]
Oh! I see what you mean.
Yes. There is some guess work there. I agree.
I'm not sure I agree with you about dairy. Meta data is useful when comparing breast cancer in the West with China (as the link mentions). Since China has adopted the Western diet, cancer rates have started to increase.
This could be because of sugar though.
@Ellatynemouth Nice, we can always reach a middle ground now. Thanks for hearing me out.
As a side story: my wife's aunt died relatively young (while we were a new couple) from lung cancer. For a couple of decades, I kept hearing about, she never smoked a cigarette in her life and remember I used to smoke outside because she would deny smokers from lighting up inside the house. She was an office clerk so never exposed to breathing contaminants as well. Normal childhood from what I recall and little or no family cancer. That was in the 1980s, The story went that the family was believing that there is no link between tobacco and lung cancer and I believed that as well (I was in university in Biochemistry at that time). In the late 90's though, I learned at a funeral that the aunt had previously beat breast cancer a decade prior (in her 40s), so there was the link. Her lung cancer came from her previous cancer (possibly genetically linked). So what I mean is anecdotes become legends but statistics and well designed experiments don't lie (but can be sim-interpreted though)
That's interesting. I found this link, slightly related, interesting too. I rolled my eyes at first, but I read it all. There is some scientific weight in the form of falcarinol.
It seems the body is always fighting the stages of cancer, in its own way. Cancer treatment can be more harmful because it damages this function.
I notice Switzerland banned mammograms recently.
@Ellatynemouth did I read that right? One day cure?
On Tuesday, July 30, 2013 I had a CT scan for malignant tumors in my lungs.
On Thursday, August 1, 2013 I got the results
“No evidence of cancer.”
It took months. Eighteen months, from what I remember and nothing happened at first.
There's obviously a mistake by the person who wrote about this woman.
Shame. Very sloppy.
This seems better. There's some science in it too, which goes over my head.
@Ellatynemouth Look that is not scientific enough for me. Sorry. The whole thing has to many holes to poke at, but I won't take the time to do that. Yes antioxidants can play a role in health (and potentially cancer) but this smells too much like an infomercial to sell books.
I've just read it. Almost to the end.
The bottom line - big pharma is selling its own products too - at a gigantic profit.
I think if I developed cancer (it doesn't work with all types of cancer) I would try the carrot juice thing first.
The reason I say that, is not because I'm an alternative medicine nutcase - far from it, but because my own mother has received treatment for cancer. She also got secondary cancer and received treatment for that. The cancer treatments she received destroyed her health. She is a shell of her former self.
I feel very angry about that. She has hardly any quality of life now. And yet her life expectancy has not greatly improved. The cancer treatments made her sick.
Anne Cameron talks about alternative treatments not working too. They didn't work for her husband who also had cancer.
I sympathize deeply,my dear wife died of lung cancer in 2017,despite the Radiation and later Chemotherapy,from diagnosis to her passing,was a little over a years time,the twist of fate was being told on our 26th anniversary in August 23rd, 2016,gone on Sept 13th 2017..... But her memories live on,many good years. I hope your friends passing is quick and merciful.
Mike1947
Level 7
June 22, 2018
0
I'm sorry. It sounds like you've got survivor's guilt which unfortunately makes sense. This is going to suck no matter what anyone says or does and those annoyances are going to get under your skin which I think is understandable.
If I was in your shoes I think I'd focus what energy I could into making my friend as happy as possible. If your friend passes you'll know you did everything you could, if they get better you'll have been a part of that so either way, you left nothing on the table. Of course I've never been in your shoes and I don't know anyone else who has either. All I can really say is good luck to her and to you. If she has a charity or donation page link it and I'll throw some money at it, if not I'll just hit up the ACS.
mattersauce
Level 7
June 22, 2018
0
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